Thursday, June 26, 2008

All over thoughts...

Last night I had a lovely dream where I'd jumped from a smoking airplane and somehow managed to get a hold of a pack that contained a parachute. I was unaware of how high I was, but my EXTREMELY limited knowledge of floating in the sky told me that I shouldn't deploy my chute too early. Anyway, when it looked about right, I pulled the string and out popped this beautifully colored roundish parachute. My fast plunge abruptly slowed to a slow float.

It felt so effortless to fall gracefully from the sky. I swung my legs and remembered thinking to myself, this is probaby what Dave Matthews meant by "Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free." (Lie in Our Graves for those of you interested in the name of the song. Prior to this experience, I'd always equated it with any of those hanging rides from Six Flags (like the Superman) or a ski lift or even, perhaps perched atop a water tower or roof of some sort as your legs dangled. Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent. I felt so free and lightweight (quite unlike my poor hippo friend).

I was even wearing this lovely yellow dress with a black floral print. It was full-skirted, with box pleats at the waist, and a scoop sleeveless top. I remembered it having deep pockets too! Oh and I can't forget the fabulous ribbon belt. Of course, I was barefooted too. So there I am, floating down from the sky like Glinda from the Wizard of Oz (only she was in a bubble, but that's ok) maybe it was more like Mary Poppins, yeah, it was like that. Except my skirt was actually billowed out and I could feel the fresh wind blowing through my hair. I waved at a plane in the distance. It was descending getting ready to land. I could look inside the windows and make out a silhouette of someone waving back. As I neared closer to Earth, the God's quilted patchwork of varying farms became more familiar. Upon landing, I pointed my toes to gently touch bright green grass like I was testing the water of a pool. It was an easy landing, quite the opposite from reality, I'm certain. It was such a great dream. I remember giggling and laughing and then giggling some more as my parachute floated down and blanketed me. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mother did laundry. Every time she went to make the beds with the fresh sheets, I'd help her. Well, with the top sheet, I would always be on the bed as she would throw it out to spread it over the bed. I'd be caught under the covers and the stiff cotton (yes, they were ironed!) would softly kiss my skin, completely wrapping me up in my mother's love. I actually woke myself up I was laughing so hard! That's the best way to rouse from your slumber, huh?

Anyway, it was definitely much better than what I'd been feeling earlier. Ok, I'm so going to put myself out there, this may be a bit TMI, but here goes: Ever since I started running again after having had the baby, I've had an incontinence problem. I've never had this issue before I had the baby. (Not even when I was pregnant!) I read that this was a very real possibility and I knew to expect it. I've been doing Kegel exercises like there's no tomorrow, but it doesn't seem to help. I'm fine doing everyday activities. I'm ok walking around and walking for exercise. I'm even ok jumping around playing sand volleyball. The problem is when I run. It doesn't matter if I completely try to empty my bladder before I go before running, I just have this issue. It'd be one thing if it were just a little bit, but a little bit over the course of 3 miles is more than just a little bit. It's downright embarrassing and I'm feeling pretty gutsy for admitting it here, but I'm desperate. I guess it could be worse, right? I mean I could have another issue where I poop on myself and that wouldn't be good either! (gross...yeah, that was an unnecessary visual) So anyway, I think I may have to resort to wearing Depends (anyone want to make me a Depends diaper cake? LOL!). Seriously, though, I think I'm gonna buy this ebook: http://www.injuredrunner.com/confidence/incontinence.htm

I go in to see my OB in the next few weeks. If I'm still having this issue, then I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe he can offer up a suggestion that I haven't thought of. Even better than that, maybe YOU GUYS can offer up something. Seriously, I'm desperate and at your mercy. I need to train for the marathon and seriously put those miles in, but well, you know already. Please help! EEEEEk!

That was awkward, huh?

So, um, yeah...Don made this amazing chicken yesterday. Baked BBQ chicken legs with brown rice that he'd tossed corn in and steamed broccoli. I'm loving these healthy dinners we're eating lately. While I don't feel like I'm losing any weight, I know I'm losing inches. Yesterday, I wore a linen skirt that I'd purchased in London when I went 4 years ago. I remember I only wore it once or twice before and then I couldn't fit into it. Well yesterday, I could not only wear it, but it was a tad loose too! Wahoo!

Have an awesome day!

4 comments:

The Steinman Squad said...

I don't have any suggestions, but I will tell you that you are not alone. I joke that that issue is the one major benefit of my having to have the emergency c-section. I have several friends and family members who delivered vaginally and every single one of them can't run without peeing on themselves. No matter how many exercises they do. The Kegel's help with it not happening when you sneeze on yourself, but apparently not with working out. If your OB has a magical answer, you must share because I promise - you are not alone in this.

Jenna said...

I saw that dress in the window at Oscar de la Renta's boutique at NorthPark last year, I swear.

And I have no advise for you. I only have a dog-child right now and he didn't have any adverse effects on my physiology.

The Potts Family said...

What a lovely dream. I dreamed last night about snakes - 2 of them. I distinctly remember chopping their heads off. Nightmare.

The incontinence thing. I can relate. I mean, I wasn't great (still aren't) about doing the kegels. Also, make sure you are doing the kegels the right way. i was doing them the wrong way for a long time.
So, anyhoo. I would sneeze and have the same problem.
Maybe you can wear a pad. More absorbent than a panty liner, but not a diaper. And over time, it will get better. They say it takes 9 months for your body to change to its pregnant state and 9 months to get it back.

The Potts Family said...

My mom would always do the same thing with the top sheet. I have the same special memory, though more beautifully described by you. But, our sheets weren't ironed!

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