For 30 years I’ve had this dream to walk into Yankee Stadium and feel the mystique that surrounds all the history of this well beloved franchise.

You see, when I was a little girl, I had two passions in my life: baseball and fashion design. I was a Texas Rangers fan (duh, I’m a Texas gal and I spent some time living in the Dallas area when I was a kiddo), a fan of the Dodgers (my great uncle Phil played with them a long time ago), and much to my father’s dismay, the New York Yankees. As soon as I saw that classic blue and white color scheme, paired with pinstripes…well, I was in love! That high level attention to detail…and they had the market cornered on style!

I made several trips over the years to Chavez Ravine. Each game holds special memories, especially the one where the promotion item was a crazy blue haired wig and we watched Eric Gagne come in and close it out “Game Over.”

Many of our summers were spent at the Ballpark in Arlington, several of those games were played against former Rangers who’d “graduated” to the Bronx Bombers. When I watched Finding Forrester, there was a scene where they walk on to the ballfield. I had tears in my eyes.

Back in 2002, I made my first visit to New York. The Yanks weren’t in town playing. I’ve since been back many times and each visit, they hadn’t been in town. But, as fate would have it, on this journey, they were in town. I’d reached out to a colleague for inside assistance with regards of best tickets for my money. If there existed such a person who knew the ins and outs to Yankee stadium, he was the man. He has a vast knowledge of all things Yankees. I really wanted to have the absolute best experience I could have within our budget. But like I said, fate. He did me one better. He’d gotten tickets for us behind homeplate less than 30 rows up in Yankee Stadium! The universe was singing to me and I heard it loud and clear, “Happy Birthday, Bianca!!!”

****

Let me back up a bit. Cinco de Mayo this year, I spent back home in Lubbock at my parent’s home. This was the first time during our marriage where we didn’t celebrate it together. The purpose of the celebrations had become even greater since we honeymooned over it seven years ago. During our honeymoon, we promised we would toast and honor the celebration…and fall in love all over again. Being apart from by beloved took an even greater toll than I was expecting. That evening before bed, he and I were texting a bit while I watched a movie. Once of his texts was so cryptic that I just picked up the phone and called him. It was during that conversation that he surprised me and told me that he’d booked a plane ticket to accompany me on my business trip. He’d rocked my world with that news and I went from being a sobbing melancholy mess to a sobbing elated HOT mess.

Together, we’d coordinated our mother’s to watch our girls and the second honeymoon was starting earlier than planned. What? Yeah, we’d already planned on going to Costa Rica for a second honeymoon, where again, our mother’s would watch our girls. We are BEYOND blessed that they could accommodate us and more than that, they were willing to. What a generous gift, right? And a very special one for our girls, as well.

*****

While in New York, our dance card was full with dates with dear friends and some family! Hopefully, I can write about some of our other experiences. Anyway, on Yankee day, June 7, I had a regular meeting-filled day at the office. By the afternoon, I needed a java pick-me-up. Don had been playing at the Museum of Natural History and was on his way back. We decided to meet up at the Apple Store and we walked over to Trump off of 5th Avenue to the nearest Starbucks. We picked up our coffees and strolled back amongst the tourists, which were plentiful.They then parted to reveal a photographer and a model who were re-enacting the Breakfast at Tiffany’s scene sans the Givenchy dress, but definitely an elegant French twist and a bagel. I made a head motion to the door and he affirmatively shrugged. In we went! This was my first visit to that infamous store. I’d previously told him of my desire of a bauble from there specifically one designed by Frank Gehry. While luxurious and sophisticated, it was never something within our budget. But today…well that day was about magic! We went to the third floor to the silver floor. We walked around almost the entire floor looking for Frank Gehry’s section. I’d just about given up when a friendly sales lady greeted us. I wasn’t yet dedicated to making a purchase. I wanted it to be a matter of chance and fate. I casually dismissed her and as she turned away, I spotted the micro ring, torque design by this famous architect, which is a direct connection to my father. (He’d studied architecture in college and some of that still lingered and rubbed off on me.) I quickly called the sales lady back, moments after our previous conversation, and requested to see the ring. She was surprised that it was tucked behind a necklace and was happy that I’d spotted it. She said it was a favorite of hers. I was going to pass off that remark as “sales speak” when I spotted that very ring on her middle finger, only in gold. I took it as a sign. I slipped on the display model and it fit, only it was a bit loose. Instead, she’d opened a brand new one, size 5.5, and it slipped right on. “It should slide on, but be a slight bit snug at the knuckle.” It was for this reason that I had lost two of my gold “Tesla” bands. Losing them saddened me, and I realized I'd gotten rings too large. I wanted a replacement. I gave Don an eyebrow raise and he nodded, so we bought it! She insisted I give it back to her. She wrapped it up, even though I wanted to wear it. “It’s just a little something for you to open later. Happy birthday!” I walked back to my office carrying that beautifully wrapped box, inside that small blue bag. That moment, it represented so many things and well…the obvious being an entire weekend’s worth of part-time work for Don to afford it. Him giving his time…happily exchanging his time (something you can’t ever put a price on) for me. **marinate on that thought for a moment…when was the last time you paused and thought about the time given for you, not money, but time** That moment also represented the abstract of fulfilling that young girl’s dream of going to Tiffany and Co. and having her beloved buy her a special trinket from the world’s idea of supreme luxury since the 1800s, signifying his affections. Being a part of that long standing history, seems a bit against my idea of being unique and different, but we all have our things that for whatever reason, we and hold on to. I know how very, very special that was. For some it may be a regular thing, but not many. For me, this was truly a special moment I will never forget.

So that’s how I got a Tiffany box on my coffee run. I had visions of returning to New York with my girls and taking them to Tiffany and Co for bagel breakfasts and procuring trinkets to mark the occasion.

That evening, we rode the subway over to Yankee Stadium. It had started to sprinkle on the way there. By the time we arrived, it was pouring. I didn’t have an umbrella. I had faith. After walking down the platform, we poured out into the street and the rain had slowed to a sprinkle. We stood under an awning awaiting the rest of our party when the sun broke through. The slow fat rain drops danced in the sun. In the opposite direction a double rainbow with the most amazing violets (my favorite color) I’ve ever seen on a rainbow, let alone two rainbows!!! I love how my amiga put it, “Loved ones watching over you.”

And that’s where it comes full circle. My loved ones. The ones who influenced me from so long ago, who inspired my dreams. There they were, with me in my heart. Happily smiling as they witnessed my dreams coming true. BOOM! Happy.

DMA: John Paul Gaultier

Remember when you were little and you had big dreams? Were you lucky enough to have parents to give you the supplies you needed to live out those dreams? As you know, I spent my summers with my grandmother and the sound of her sewing machine humming is what would lull me to sleep during naptime. When I was Mari's age now, she handed me a large plastic needle and yarn. She told me once I was able to do that, then she'd give me something to sew.  When I mastered that, I was given an actual needle and embroidery thread. I was then instructed to hand sew a straight stitch, then different patterns. I had to prove my mastery at hand sewing before I was allowed to use the machine. I never threaded her machine. I did re-arrange all of her threads for her, categorizing them according to the color of the rainbow, then sorting them my individual color underneath. My job was to also help her with patterns. Cutting them out, laying them flat, pinning them for her, and then later folding them up without tearing and tucking them nicely back into the bag.

I drew many designs for my dolls. I drew clothes of what I wanted to wear when I was older. When I was 7, as a Christmas gift, I received from Santa this fashion template set. You could put down the template and "build" a wardrobe from basic pieces. You'd place a piece of paper over the template, run your large charcoal or crayon over it, and then your image would appear. You could then color it however you wanted. This was a nice "cheater" way of creating clothing, but I wasn't interested in textile design, but the actual design of apparel. By the time I was 8, I was happy to go to the grocery store with my mother just so I could delicately flip the pages of Vogue. We never purchased a copy. When we would go to the library, I would obsess over the clothing in the magazine articles. The advent of MTV and the supermodel had me fixated with all things Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington. They just knew how to wear clothes! I idolized fashion designers like some kids idolized sports figures. I cried the day Gianni Versace was killed. You see, fashion designers aren't the sort of people that you actually get to meet. It isn't like they are out and about at events where you can rub shoulders with them. Well, not at events for normal sort of folk. I had fashion week, and whatever coverage my cable news channel afforded. I would get seriously pissed if my father changed the channel when I was watching runway. Even if it was for a brief second coverage, I'd say, "No Daddy, go back!" I wanted to see the clothes. I HAD TO SEE THEM. I'll be the first to admit that I dated a handful of boys that were completely wrong for me, but boy could they wear the heck out of clothes! They knew how to dress and well, that was VERY important to me.

And then I grew up, chose a different path, and that part of me sat dormant.

I became a mother and my eldest started to play with Barbies. She asked for clothes for her Barbies. I started designing again. And I drew, and I drew, and I still draw. I've only constructed two pieces. I've been playing around with making her clothes too. In my spare time, you know. Then the Dallas Museum of Art brought Jean Paul Gaultier to Dallas. My jaw hit the floor and I was excited. I asked to go at some point during the exhibit. It closes next week on the 12th. Don, remembering my request, loaded up the girls and off we went to the DMA. I was beyond excited. At the front of the exhibit, you see the sailor stripes as I came to be familiar with him. How ever is it that I don't immediately associate him with the cone bras? ha ha

We went through each room. I read about each outfit. I appreciated the hours into the craftsmanship. Even Don was impressed! We were further treated when we saw the actual costume Chris Tucker wore in the 5th Element. Don said, that looks familiar. I thought, yes, it looks like something Nikki Minaj might have worn. Then I remembered, duh, Don wouldn't know that. I glanced at the sign and we saw 5th Element and told him. He nodded his head and was impressed. He also like many of the men's stylings that were shown. I admired every single detail. Each stitch, each bead, each feather...all of it. The sheer patience involved. I do believe motherhood has given me that patience.

Tesla was enamored with all of the people and seemed intrigued by the clothes. Mari wanted to walk around and touch everything and was more than discontent when I forced her to sit in the stroller the entire time. One time she escaped and was perched on a shelf with no display. She was just sitting there bored. The attendant immediately went up to her and told her that she couldn't be there. We received quite a few looks, actually, for having our children there. Only a handful of them were haughty. The rest seemed like they were happy to have them there. It was hard. I wanted to touch the pretty fabrics, too!

Oh my goodness, the accessories. All of the hats/headdresses, the shoes, the stockings/socks/gloves, purses, they were outstanding! It was so nice to see them up close and be able to gawk and stare at them for as long as I wanted. I found Mari stealing glances at the colorful socks. I left inspired, happy, and appreciative. My Sugarbean, she wasn't so much thrilled about it. I asked her what she thought of it and this is what she did. She is probably being shy, but I like to think that she wanted the focus to be on her clothes. ha ha

There are portions of the exhibit that could be construed as risque, so younger audiences need to be warned. I wasn't concerned because my child has seen me naked and knows what a nude adult female body looks like. And that was the extent of the nudity. She was unaware of the one sexually posed exhibit. A female mannequin had put a saddle on the male mannequin and was riding it. She was too distracted by many other things than to notice the more "revealing" clothing on a mannequin.

At the end of the night, she learned that "eye-candy" meant something that was pleasing to her eye and not real candy to shove in her eyes. ha ha

If you are local and appreciate clothes, then you should go check it out. I hope to sneak away one lunch hour next week and see it before it goes.

New Year, New Goals

Everyone is out there hunkering down and knee deep in their New Year resolutions. I don't have any resolutions for the new year, per se. I figure if there is something that needs changing, I shouldn't wait for the new year, I need to just do it. With that, the new year is a good opportunity to make goals. I usually set forth some goals for the new year and mid-way through it (right around my birthday, actually), I do a mental check to see where I am with those goals. I will share some of my goals with you here.

Make Something New Each Week This could very well turn out to backfire on me, but I think it is a doable and reasonable goal. I'm not talking about sewing something new or anything crafty like that. It could be making a new meal, making a homemade card, making a mess...whatever the case, as long as it is something new, even if it is born from something old, it is new. My mother and grandmother were always very resourceful. I take certain things for granted, so if I utilize more resourcefulness, not only will I save money, but I won't add to the already expanding clutter and mess that has accumulated during our marriage.

Try Something New & Different Once a Month I got this idea from my friend. It was so simple and easy to adhere to. Think about it. 12 days out of the year is all you have to commit to. Depending on the new thing, it may not even be 12 full days. I'm going to try a different food dish, heck, experience a whole new ethnic cuisine. Maybe try a new crafting technique or a different workout from the norm. Whatever it is, it will be something new and different for me. AND if at all possible, I want Mari to experience it with me.

Eat Healthier I discovered that for whatever reason, mid-way through the year last year, I totally checked out in the kitchen department. Heck, I checked out in a lot of aspects of my life, but that one (along with the next goal) was most noticeable. I like cooking. I like baking. I like being in the kitchen. I like preparing foods with my husband. I like planning meals and going to the grocery store. I like eating together at the dining room table. All of that fell by the wayside when, like I said, I checked out. Not any more. I've rediscovered my old Martha Stewart Everyday Foods magazines. I also received an amazing cookbook for Christmas that I have tagged recipes I want to try. More importantly, I was selected to review cinch!, the new book by Cynthia Sass as part of a One2One Network promotion. So far from what I've read, I love the meals and the plan. Since I am pregnant, I won't be able to fully participate in the book, but my family will definitely benefit from it and will help us all adopt healthy eating habits. (More on that review later.)

One Load of Laundry Each Week I loathe doing laundry. I know I have written about this before. I don't understand it. But you know what. It stops now. I have actually put a bag next to the wash of clothes that I fully intend to donate. I know this will help when I say I want to clean out my closet, but never do. Seriously, all it takes is just having a simple bag when I do the laundry. This will also prove useful when I do Mari's laundry. She recently went through another growth spurt, so I need to sort her clothes and get rid of anything she's outgrown (or store it for Tesla). One load of laundry a week is totally reasonable and one that I know that I can accomplish. Some of you out there are laughing because you probably do one load of laundry a day. We do a load of dishes every day, but laundry is another subject. I've had this bad habit since I started doing my laundry back in high school. It is ok for me to grow up and change that nasty habit.

400 Calories a Week My cardiotrainer on my phone tracks calories burned. For the past two weeks it has been at 0. That means I haven't been tracking when I've been walking or I haven't been walking. This WILL change. For the sake of my tiny one growing inside, I need to be exercising more. I'm a week shy of the third trimester and it is time to get it. 400 calories a week is TINY compared to the monster 1200 calorie workouts I used to do in one session (which I will get back to someday), but it is definitely a start.

Ok, so what about you guys? Any goals or resolutions? How are you incorporating them into your family, with your kids, into your routines?

Suddenly It Split Into Three Whirling Masses of Destruction...

Early this morning, Mari woke up hungry. This entire week, she's been up at 5AM famished. We give her a bottle and she'll pass right out. Since Don is in training, he was out running, so Mari joined me in bed for her early morning snack. Immediately afterwards, she snuggled in tightly and fell asleep. I didn't need any extra persuasion, I was off dreaming again. This time, it was too real, though.

I was sitting in our office boardroom having a meeting. We were talking
about a current project and such. No big deal. In the boardroom, we have this
large window that I do my best to sit with my back towards it, because I find
myself looking out too much. This time, I didn't make it to the meeting early
enough, so I was facing the window. The sky was gorgeous, but I was asked a
direct question. I was so wrapped up in the conversation that I didn't look
outside. When I paused to look out, there it was. I gasped and grabbed Richard's
arm. His eyes followed my gaze and he quit talking for a moment, then proceeded
to calmly say, "We need to get out of here now!" I jumped up and ran down the
hall. I hollered at Jenna and said, "Get your things! Don't ask, just go NOW!" I
pointed out of the window and she looked. These beautiful, puffly black clouds
began to drop in the distance. I sprinted to the other side and grabbed Deidre
and Laura. I asked them about Xochitl and they said she'd already left for the
day. I told them about the sky, all in a matter of seconds. We ran to stairwell,
where I left them to run up the stairs. I needed to tell the guys! I passed the
window again, on my way up and saw this huge funnel cloud drop from the sky so
gracefully violent like a spider falls from the silken web strand. My heart
raced and I ran into Tom. "Tornado! Exit now!" By this time, everyone had poked
their heads out and we could see it creeping closer to us. Before I hit the
exits, I saw that it had given birth! It had suddendly split into three whirling masses of destruction. A tornado family, angry and hungry. I could see the flashing lights of firemen and rescue crew in the distance. I heard the sirens as I took the stairs two by two.

I didn't know what to think. I didn't really know where to go. Why was I
going down the stairs? This is what we do in case of fire, but what about a
tornado? We didn't practice that! I didn't read the manual for that. What if the
building collapsed, do I really want to be stuck at the bottom. In any case, I
made it down and ran to the 1st floor bathroom. Surprisingly, there were only a
couple of other women in there with me. We huddled together, quietly, shaking,
and praying.

And then I woke up. Heart racing so fast, I was certain it would wake Mari. Before me stood my beloved, about to kiss me awake. I nearly shrieked, but I swallowed and my morning voice, cracky and sore, I told him my nightmare. He just stroked my face and said, it was just a dream. It's ok. I calmed down, but I can't shake that image. So big and beautiful, but dangerous. And now I'm looking up instructions of what I need to do in case of a tornado!

All over thoughts...

Last night I had a lovely dream where I'd jumped from a smoking airplane and somehow managed to get a hold of a pack that contained a parachute. I was unaware of how high I was, but my EXTREMELY limited knowledge of floating in the sky told me that I shouldn't deploy my chute too early. Anyway, when it looked about right, I pulled the string and out popped this beautifully colored roundish parachute. My fast plunge abruptly slowed to a slow float.

It felt so effortless to fall gracefully from the sky. I swung my legs and remembered thinking to myself, this is probaby what Dave Matthews meant by "Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free." (Lie in Our Graves for those of you interested in the name of the song. Prior to this experience, I'd always equated it with any of those hanging rides from Six Flags (like the Superman) or a ski lift or even, perhaps perched atop a water tower or roof of some sort as your legs dangled. Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent. I felt so free and lightweight (quite unlike my poor hippo friend).

I was even wearing this lovely yellow dress with a black floral print. It was full-skirted, with box pleats at the waist, and a scoop sleeveless top. I remembered it having deep pockets too! Oh and I can't forget the fabulous ribbon belt. Of course, I was barefooted too. So there I am, floating down from the sky like Glinda from the Wizard of Oz (only she was in a bubble, but that's ok) maybe it was more like Mary Poppins, yeah, it was like that. Except my skirt was actually billowed out and I could feel the fresh wind blowing through my hair. I waved at a plane in the distance. It was descending getting ready to land. I could look inside the windows and make out a silhouette of someone waving back. As I neared closer to Earth, the God's quilted patchwork of varying farms became more familiar. Upon landing, I pointed my toes to gently touch bright green grass like I was testing the water of a pool. It was an easy landing, quite the opposite from reality, I'm certain. It was such a great dream. I remember giggling and laughing and then giggling some more as my parachute floated down and blanketed me. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mother did laundry. Every time she went to make the beds with the fresh sheets, I'd help her. Well, with the top sheet, I would always be on the bed as she would throw it out to spread it over the bed. I'd be caught under the covers and the stiff cotton (yes, they were ironed!) would softly kiss my skin, completely wrapping me up in my mother's love. I actually woke myself up I was laughing so hard! That's the best way to rouse from your slumber, huh?

Anyway, it was definitely much better than what I'd been feeling earlier. Ok, I'm so going to put myself out there, this may be a bit TMI, but here goes: Ever since I started running again after having had the baby, I've had an incontinence problem. I've never had this issue before I had the baby. (Not even when I was pregnant!) I read that this was a very real possibility and I knew to expect it. I've been doing Kegel exercises like there's no tomorrow, but it doesn't seem to help. I'm fine doing everyday activities. I'm ok walking around and walking for exercise. I'm even ok jumping around playing sand volleyball. The problem is when I run. It doesn't matter if I completely try to empty my bladder before I go before running, I just have this issue. It'd be one thing if it were just a little bit, but a little bit over the course of 3 miles is more than just a little bit. It's downright embarrassing and I'm feeling pretty gutsy for admitting it here, but I'm desperate. I guess it could be worse, right? I mean I could have another issue where I poop on myself and that wouldn't be good either! (gross...yeah, that was an unnecessary visual) So anyway, I think I may have to resort to wearing Depends (anyone want to make me a Depends diaper cake? LOL!). Seriously, though, I think I'm gonna buy this ebook: http://www.injuredrunner.com/confidence/incontinence.htm

I go in to see my OB in the next few weeks. If I'm still having this issue, then I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe he can offer up a suggestion that I haven't thought of. Even better than that, maybe YOU GUYS can offer up something. Seriously, I'm desperate and at your mercy. I need to train for the marathon and seriously put those miles in, but well, you know already. Please help! EEEEEk!

That was awkward, huh?

So, um, yeah...Don made this amazing chicken yesterday. Baked BBQ chicken legs with brown rice that he'd tossed corn in and steamed broccoli. I'm loving these healthy dinners we're eating lately. While I don't feel like I'm losing any weight, I know I'm losing inches. Yesterday, I wore a linen skirt that I'd purchased in London when I went 4 years ago. I remember I only wore it once or twice before and then I couldn't fit into it. Well yesterday, I could not only wear it, but it was a tad loose too! Wahoo!

Have an awesome day!