“Why are you so tired? You just haven’t seemed like much of yourself.”

Her words pierced my heart because this not-so-secret SECRET I’d been holding onto had finally started to present itself to the world. I remember having endless amounts of energy. I also remember when I was in high school, I went through weeks of less energy than normal, but I always equated it with hormonal shifts. During my early 20s, though, I started to notice extreme fatigue. I figured it was because of all of the added stress I put myself under and the lack of sleep I was getting. Once I graduated, though, I felt much better. I was tired, but not like before. After the birth of my second daughter, though, I noticed I struggled to find energy. Again, I chalked it up to being a mother to two adorable, precarious, and energetic small ones. However, something that seemed to become more and more common was the regularity in which I was contracting strep. I went from getting it once a year, to 3-4 times a year for the past few years.

Then my health continued to shift downward. I had vertigo. I discovered I had a Venus Cavernous Malformation. I have degenerative disk disease, likely cause by a fracture in my lower spine that I sustained when I was 4. I have asthma. And….I’m exhausted. Like I was hit by a truck exhausted. At the end of this summer, I went in to my doctor, with certainty that I had strep, yet again, but detailed everything else I had on my mind. She ran lots of blood work for me, ordered an MRI, and I waited for the results.

“Bianca, it appears that you have arthritis in your neck. I’m going to recommend pain management therapy, even though I’m sure you will decline.” She referred me to a pain management specialist, but I declined--for now. Just as I declined for my chronic back pain. I am able to live with the pain, so I don’t want to undergo injections until I really need it. But for now, I am able to manage just fine as long as I keep stretching. My doctor was ok with my decision for now and she was supportive of me. “Just keep moving, Bianca. That’s the best thing that you can do. Move within reason, though. Don’t go crazy!” she told me.

“Bianca, you don’t have anemia, but you do have low Ferritin.” Ferritin is the protein that iron binds to, so if is low, then you have lower iron. I show many traits of anemia, but I am not anemic. She encouraged me to shift my pescatarian diet to one that included red meat a couple of times a week. I tried it and I did feel more energy, but I also felt heavier and slower.

“Bianca, you have Epstein-Barr Virus. Actually, you have so many antibodies of it, that we can’t even measure it. Based on what I can tell, you have had EBV since  you were a teenager. Have you ever felt so tired you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck? Have you had a coffee for energy, but it doesn’t seem to work?” I nodded my head. “Well,” she said as she put her hand on me, “you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And right now, you are experiencing a really bad episode.”

I was shocked, but calmly asked what I could do, while letting out tiny sobs. She encouraged me to rest, while also smiling knowing that it would be very difficult for me to do that. She said, “Bianca, I’m going to need you to take a diet from life. Just pull back a bit and allow your body to heal, because you don’t know the long term damage that you could be causing by not resting when you need to. Please take a couple of days off from everything as you need to. Yes, I still want you to keep moving, but go at a different pace.” She said diet because no one likes to go on a diet. Change your diet, but not forcibly go on one, right? I like that my doctor knows me well enough to know the kind of person that I am—one that doesn’t want to rely on pills and medication and a person that is always on the go. Because I love to read medical journals and whitepapers for fun, I dove deep into the throes of learning all about EBV and CFS. I know what my indicators and triggers are. I know how to adjust and adapt. I do NOT yet know how to deal with slowing down. While I try to make myself be ok with it, when it is noticeable by others, inside, I’m upset and angry. I’ve run marathons. I’ve run half marathons. I’m a college athlete. I’m a mother. I’m a wife. I work in Corporate America. I’m also a photographer. I’m an event planner. I’m a writer. I’m an adventurer! I don’t have the time to have a diet for life. I don’t want a diet from life!

Here is where I issue a blanket apology to some: I’m sorry for the inner shade I threw at you when you caught me staring at you. Those of you who are absolutely healthy otherwise, but take it for granted and choose not to appreciate your unbroken body, yeah…those people, I was jealous of them. I was envious of their lack of guilt for not exercising, of all of the sleep they were having, of their poor dietary choices---and their lack of enjoyment for eating all of those things they let themselves eat, because dangit, I want to eat 3 honeybuns, too, but I can’t because I will totally feel it later. I’m sorry. I’m not a nice person when I’m hangry. I’m not a nice person when I’m hurting. Really, I just needed a hug. Then I would eat some chocolate and lay down.

Sometimes you meet people at the right moment when you are supposed to meet them.

Last month, I found myself in NYC eating brunch next to a friend of a friend. She and I were talking about various things and I noticed that she didn’t eat sugar, or grains, or even drank alcohol. She monitored her diet very carefully. So I asked her if she was gluten-intolerant or Celiac. She said no, that she suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She told me how it consumed her body and as typical of CFS, it attacked the parts of her body that she used most—her brain and communication skills. You see, she is a writer and she recounted to me how difficult it was for her to focus to formulate a sentence, to have a clear brain to use her language skills. She knew of the words, but she was unable to articulate and recall her vocabulary. Also, she said she had little to no energy to even get out of bed. She also told me of her friend who was a dancer, who lost the ability to to use her legs. She wasn’t paralyzed, but her legs were too heavy, too stiff, too painful to move. So she went into further detail of her dietary changes, which was a supplement to a treatment she’d received back in her native country (not at all approved for by the FDA). We had to depart, but her words stuck with me.

Then, less than a week after that, I had a discussion with a friend of mine who went through a dietary detox to reset her health. She actually went through a specific program, but as we talked more and more about the details, I was going to simplify it and determined to give it a try. It gave her great results for her health goals (not weight loss), so I told myself that November 1 would be the day I would start. It would also give me the opportunity to mindfully eat and to consider those who do not have food immediately at their disposal. Leading up to the first, though, was a vacation in Sonoma with friends and family. I ate and drank without restriction and with passion. However, I also suffered as a result from it. I felt so incredibly bloated, slow, and fat. I was exhausted, I had headaches, and body aches. I look at images from that trip and while I am truly happy, I am not at all happy with my shape. On Halloween, I stepped on a scale and was horrified by the number that was looking back at me. But this isn’t about fitness or weight, so I won’t fixate on that. I will, however, say that CFS took a big toll on me in recent months, both physically and mentally.
What was my diet?

• Vegan
• No dairy---no cheese, no milk, no butter (aaaack)
• No animals of any kind. No animal broth. No fish.
• No rice
• No caffeine…including coffee
• No sugar—raisins were ok, but no honey, nothing with added sugar in it.
• No grains
• No alcohol
• Coconut oil for everything.

I had to prepare, yes, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. (I did however miss eggs!) HUGE shout out to my support group who encouraged me by suggesting recipes, trying out juice, or just giving me a thumbs up.

Breakfast:

I made my own cereal of equal parts flaxseed and chia seed. I mixed in 3/4 cup of coconut milk and heated it for one minute in the microwave. I topped it with banana.
Kale Yeah juice from Whole Foods: kale, pineapple, banana, orange juice

Lunch:

Salads topped with beets, black beans, garbanzo beans, and half an avocado

Snack:

the other half of my avocado and plain hummus or sometimes artichoke and olive hummus

Dinner:

Quinoa with some type of vegetable medley

Vegetable soup

The goal was to make it to at least 10 days. On day 8, I caved and ate eggs, but I was strict with everything else! I was happy to know that eggs didn’t bother me. On day 11, I tried a bit of dairy. It didn’t affect me too negatively, but I did notice a change. On that day I also tried a glass of champagne. I took all I had to finish the glass and I immediately noticed adverse reactions. My intestines felt like they were on fire. The next day, I felt sluggish and I had a headache. Immediately, I went for my Kale Yeah juice to see if it would help and it did. But something else happened. I came across this article about EBV. Yes, I saw it was on Goop and rolled my eyes, too, but I strongly suggest you read it, especially if you suffer from CFS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, or Fibromyalgia. Much of what I took from it was the simple truth that I’d experienced first-hand. I had to change my diet. Yes, I still need rest, but I also need plants---whole, organic, non-GMO, plants as my medicine. I’ve already lost 10+ pounds, but I’m not hungry. I want a piece of chocolate and I would like some coffee, but I’m not hungry for them. Other friends who I’ve known who have adopted a plant-based diet---more than 95% plant based and cutting out all of the other stuff---have also noticed a significant improvement/positive shift in their health.

As for me, I’m gonna keep trying. I want to make it to 80, but not just arrive, but I want to dance and run into 80.

What a Lovely Day: The One Where I Sliced My Finger

What is this? Another post already!

On Sunday, I set out to have an epic Father’s day celebration since our girls were out of town enjoying Camp Nana & Grandfather. The plan was to have brunch, visit the Farmer’s Market, work on the yard, then go to a movie. We had a brilliant brunch, and headed over to the Farmer’s Market where we scored the largest zucchini I’ve ever seen. Yeah, everything in Texas is bigger, apparently!


Moments after this photo, a massive rainstorm hit and we were caught in it. We had parked a few blocks away and the walk to the car felt like we were in the middle of a splash park. The fat rain and strong winds didn’t hurt. It was still plenty warm and the cool rain was refreshing. I was actually laughing, because I love pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. On the drive home, I was literally sloshing in my seat from the downpour, all the while, a stupid grin graced my face from the experience.

When we arrived home, instead of working on the lawn as previously mentioned, I opted for a nap. No sense in attempting to mow during the rainstorm. It was such a glorious nap, too. I slept the hardest I’ve slept in weeks and was so re-energized, I awoke hungry. I remembered I still had my birthday avocados (doesn't everyone?), which needed to be eaten, so a snack of guacamole before the movie sounded like a great idea. The avocados were perfectly ripe, too. I diced the garlic. I had tossed in my salt. I chopped cilantro. I squeezed the lime. I spooned the halves of the avocado that didn’t have a pit into my bowl. Then, I took my Global Chef’s Knife to the pit to take it off--just exactly as I have done many, many times over the years. You know, each of those times I’d performed that same task, I remembered feeling quite proud at accomplishing such a dangerous feat--knife skills can be dangerous, after all! This time, however the pit just slid around in a circle when I tried to grab it with the center of the blade and an easy chop. Instead of just squeezing the avocado to produce the pit, I earnestly shoved the pointed end of the knife to the pit, so as to stab it in place…

….the pit easily tumbled out, the sharp knife easily sliced a 1 inch gash near the joint of my left index finger, and all together, like Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9, all pieces clashed to the sink! I rinsed knife off, my blood pooled blood under the cool water, my mouth salivated because I was so hungry--all I wanted was some guacamole. I calmly called out saying I needed to get to a doctor, willing my finger to be ok, telling myself no less than 50 times that I didn’t feel the pain. If I can state it aloud and rationalize it to my brain to stop feeling the aches, I can likely suppress it. (Surprising myself with this ability: when we were at the ER later and the triage nurse asked me my pain level, I stated 1 on the scale of 1-10. It was by no means a 10, but I did expect to say something higher, because duh, we were at the ER!)

I did a quick check on WebMD to see what to do and how it compared to other lacerations. According to the Internet (ha!), I had between 12 and 24 hours before I needed immediate attention, so I said, let’s try to make the movie*. We cleaned it up the wound, bandaged it and headed out. Nevermind I could see the blood saturating the bandage. I clot well and I had a back up paper towel just in case. However, being Father’s Day, all movies were sold out unless you wanted to sit at the very front row. Dangit! Off we went to the ER, where I was gifted with some Lidocaine and five stitches.

The doc asked me if I’d ever gotten stitches before and I answered honestly, “Yeah, on my vagina.” He was a bit taken aback by my bluntness, and caught his stammering by saying, “oh..well, uh…you were likely numb from an epidural.” I interrupted him and said, “No, I felt it. Both my births were natural and the stitching was well, not pleasant, but after giving birth coupled with the hormone surge, the tiny pricks weren't really a factor. The birth itself was a 10 on the pain scale.” We continued to joke and he showed us proper stitching technique--in the event of the zombie apocalypse (his words!), then walked me through what to expect. As a result, I’m going to miss playing in the annual dodgeball tournament which will be later on this week, but the whole thing made for a great story!

That night, we stayed in and made a plan to go to the movies the next evening.

*The movie was Mad Max: Fury Road and in my opinion, such a clever and fantastic action movie with heart! I was overwhelmed, surprised, in suspense, and felt like I was a small child watching my first ever action film, only there were really strong female characters in search of redemption. I HIGHLY recommend you go see it! It may not be for everyone, but it was DEFINITELY my kind of film. I had been wanting to watch this film since it was released, but we didn’t have a sitter or time. While everyone else is raving about Inside Out or Jurassic World, I’m behind the curve saying, hey, check out Mad Mad, folks, because I agree with Rotten Tomatoes’ 98% rating! Go now, before it leaves the theaters.

Running and Holiday Lights

It's been unseasonably warm here, like, I'm so glad I'm lazy because I still have my Summer clothes out, type of warm. It has been incredibly difficult to get into the "spirit" of things in the absence of the cooler winds. And instead of wallowing in the absence of what I expect, we decided to enjoy it...at least for the limited remaining days it is here.

Every year, unplanned, we will take a detour on our way home and snake our way through the neighborhood to oooh and aaaah at all of the pretty lights. A couple of years, we were lucky enough to have some hot chocolate with us to sip on while we looked at the lights.

This year, however, we strapped the girls in the jogging stroller and took advantage of the early dark hours. We aimed for a 5K, but would be happy with 2 miles. Off we ran, snaking the neighborhood and looking at all of the pretty lights.

During this run, I discovered that one of my favorite pairs of running shorts were falling off of me. Like, holy moly, I'm about to have a serious wardrobe malfunction up in here. Why? Well, those of you who are runners already know this. For the rest of you, most running shorts are made with built-in underwear. Therefore, you don't need to wear another pair. In fact, if you are a runner, you are probably logging several miles regularly and the added underwear will more likely cause chafing in unmentionable places. It's a runner thing. Same as with body glide, peeing on yourself, pooping in the bushes...runners are dirty folks, but it doesn't mean they are all nasty. Some of us carry biodegradable toilet paper and are never far from a cleaning towel, antibacterial sanitizer, and a change of shorts. Wow, that was a tangent! Anyway, like I said, shorts falling off.

I was so pre-occupied with my shorts, that I was unable to find my rhythm. My little running playlist was putting its best food forward to motivate me, but I was so paranoid with my clothes. And then there were the pretty, pretty lights!

Probably my favorite one of the run was this one:

After all, He is the reason for this season. It warmed my heart to see that. 

Then, it was time to get the show on the road and get our workout really on. I'd finally finagled my shorts so they would stay put. We were about to kick it up a notch, when we had to cross a kinda busy residential street to get to the really busy street. The sidewalks down this street only exist on one side. They just abruptly end 2 blocks before getting to the busier street. While crossing the street (which isn't the normal concrete in most residential neighborhoods, but rather a tough asphalt), I lost my footing on the ground and did a wonderful rendition of a skip ball chain, hop, hop, hop, twist, to forward dive. I gently tossed my phone on the ground and caught myself with my palms and the top of my chest. I tripped and ate it pretty good. 

I took a deep breath, pushed off, tucked my ear buds back in (music still playing), shook the rocks off of my hands and began to run again. My Beloved concerned for me, but not making it a big deal and continued to run. I felt the familiar burn coming with the pain. I was reminded, again of my mortality. As my legs moved, I was invigorated that I had the ability to run. I felt the burn in my palms, the blood slowly escaping my body. I also felt the burn in my chest from breathing. I felt the burn in my legs from the running. In that moment, I was deeply grateful to not only be alive, but healthy enough to run...and yes, pick myself back up to keep running.

When I got home, I cleaned off my hands and here is what my right palm looked like before I added the peroxide and bandage.

And now, with my favorite waterproof bandages, Nexcare Star Wars bandages! I'd posted on my Instagram "yoda heal me!"

The only thing about this particular bandage is that the "tattoo" portion or graphic image wears off rather quickly and then you are left with just a regular ol' waterproof bandage. It's still fun while you have it and it protects your wounds. No, they didn't pay me to say that? I wasn't even offered anything to plug these bandages, I just think they are nifty and next time you are buying bandages and you think, "I'm an adult and I shouldn't get fun stuff"well, I'm here to tell you that if you want a fun image on your owie-boo-boo then by golly, get what you want and splurge! Put it on there and watch how much faster you will heal! (Growing up the decorated bandages cost more money, so Mom would suggest we draw on the plain bandages if we were so bent on decoration.)

What are some of your holiday traditions?

Health Check Reminder

I process quite a bit by writing. In the past several months when I have had the time, I’ve been doing less writing in this forum, and more writing in actual journals. I wrote quite a bit about what I’m going to talk to you about now on small notecards. Little words of encouragement to myself, just as a reminder to keep myself focused and positive.

I know I have it within myself to teeter along the edge of depression. Quickly things can spiral out of control in my brain and fear upon fear upon worry upon sadness down that long tunnel into darkness. It’s at that point where I can see the world around me going on about its business and I feel like a mannequin in a poorly lit window, watching it all. It sucks. For that reason, I lean on my coping mechanisms. I run. I workout. I cling tightly to my family. I inhale loads and loads of motivational and inspirational quotes. I also cut out negativity. I have to. I purposefully stop watching the news. All that to say, the past couple of weeks, I was walking an emotional tightrope.

Let’s back up. After everything I witnessed with my mother last year, I decided to make a dramatic change in our lifestyle and cut out animals from my diet at the beginning of the year. (I don’t say vegetarian because well, there are so many definitions to that. My thing was, if it has a face, then I didn’t eat it. This included fish.) It was supposed to be a six week experiment that has evolved into a mostly permanent thing. I allow myself to eat something with a face one or two meals a week. To say it was life changing is an understatement. For me, this is what happened:

• I lost 25 pounds.
• I’ve shaved off nearly two minutes from my mile pace (multiple miles).
• I have a waist. <---That one, well, I’m square shaped, normally. I’ve never, in my life, had the abdomen lines on my belly. Not even in college when I was an athlete and my body fat percentage was really low.
• My allergies mostly disappeared. I’m the sneeziest person I know. And yet, here I can breathe again. I still have off days, but I don’t suffer as much as I used to.
• My face is brighter, well, the complexion. I thought some of that had to do with the Costa Rican and Californian sun, but no, it is the diet.

Great, right? Well, I must also admit, I took on that challenge because I wanted to increase the time I had to share with Don. He’s always active, making great food choices, and pushing me to be better. Sometimes, it’s exhausting. Many times it is exhausting. There are times where I just want to lazy around and watch movie marathons, eating tortilla chips dipped in chocolate frosting (or Velveeta) while drinking a Coke. Who, in their right mind, wants to get up before the sun to log 3-6 miles, eat only plants, and drink heavy amounts of water? <raising hand>  Yeah, that’d be me. I can bend time and do more in the day because of those choices. I get to enjoy more of him and more of my girls. I have “cleaner fuel” which lends itself to more physical activity. I run more. I run with the girls more. I run after the girls more. And the running gives me endorphins, which combats that evil depression and kicks it in the pants! It also tightens and tones my legs and works my heart. During my runs, I meditate and pray. I try to send out love and light to the world. I also breathe slowly. Gain perspective and chew on things that I need to sort out. I find myself laughing and smiling more. I still cry, but 7 times out of 10, they are tears of joy. There is no shame in showing emotion.

For a few years now, my Beloved has been having pain in his abdomen area. In June, Don finally acted on that pain in his abdomen and had his gallbladder removed. In it, they found polyps, which we later discovered to be benign. (whew) We also discovered that his gallbladder had only been operating at less than 10% efficiency. Hooray, right? Well, mostly, until August when the pain in his abdomen persisted. It kept hammering at him and hammering at him. That month, several people around me (around our age) were new diagnosed and battling cancer. You can imagine my fears. They were creeping in, gaining a stronghold. I insisted he go in to get it checked. Before we made that appointment, he decided to give the non-animals diet a whirl. His challenge for himself was for two weeks. He lost 10 pounds in those two weeks. His blood pressure became more normalized. However, the pain, it lingered. In he went to a GI specialist.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been running around with angst, worry, sadness…knocking on that door of depression. My world with him was in jeopardy. Why? Because when we sat down with the doctor, she told us that he would be undergoing a series of tests. Bloodwork, CT scans, ultrasounds, endoscopy, colonoscopy, and even biopsies..they wanted to rule out everything. At the worst, he could have some type of cancer. At the best, he has a food allergy. Talk about a broad spectrum! Shortly after we heard of the news, we had a road trip to Lubbock. We had 12 dedicated hours in the car to discuss, plan, and prepare. I spent three of those hours quietly sobbing to myself as my beloved lay next to me sleeping, our two blessings in the back slumbering. I prayed and prayed, crested over the canyons in the black of night and was greeted by the most amazing lightning storm I’d ever witnessed. For the next two hours, I focused on each bright burst, attempting to gain as much confidence and reassurance as possible for our own personal storm.
We faced each day, holding hands and embracing. His attitude changed from worry to relaxed. He tried to calm my fears by telling me it was ok. When things got to be too much, I ran. (or jumped or danced or cried) My closest loves held me tightly. Their infectious positivity lighting my mood. Their words of inspiration jumping out from the paper, the screen, my phone, all of them lifting me up. Despite all of that, the day before the “big tests” I curled up into the shower and ugly-cried for the better part of an hour. The biggest thing I lamented about that was all of the water that I had wasted. During that time, I considered the people we met along the way during our journey this summer. I reflected back on genuine and loving conversation from a beautiful man who has been victorious against throat cancer (and he has now become a mentor of sorts and a coveted friend). I remembered the sounds of the ocean lapping up the shores of Costa Rica, where the tiny bit of paradise is littered with trash, but in spite of the garbage, it is lush, thriving, and still very beautiful. I thought of my friends who have had other battles and remained steadfast in grace and positivity. I emerged from that shower, braver and ready for what may come. (We won't even discuss the crazy dreams.)

No matter what.

That’s our motto, mine and my beloved’s. I held his hand, he held mine, each of us taking a deep breath. He the calm and steady one with the sexiest antrum I've ever seen. (ok, it is the only one I've ever seen, but still) Me, the nervous wreck, trying to be as cool and cheerful. Why do I do that? Must be my way of coping.

--------------------

Results came back and all is normal! (wiping tears) They had found and removed a polyp, which was non-cancerous. All of the other tissue samples they had taken to perform biopsies came back normal. What they did discover is erosion in his stomach and small intestine. Basically, it’s as if someone took sandpaper to them. The acids in your stomach are so strong that with this weaker lining, you are inviting ulcers, which could eventually lead to worse things like cancer. Because the stomach is near all of the other major organs, this poses an even bigger threat. Now, he has to take a pill to coat his stomach to prevent further erosion and ulcers. Eating better is now essential. Additionally, he will undergo tests for food allergies. To start, they encouraged him to eliminate gluten from his diet.  Changes, indeed, but nothing we’ve not encountered before. 

All that to say, please, please, please go get yourselves checked out if you suspect something. The tiniest bits of changes in your body could be indicators for things far worse. Not knowing is scary, but knowing and having a plan is better, right? That’s where we are. Attempting to live our lives, buying more time, and embracing challenges ahead as happily and as positively as we can…together.

Lice…yep, we earned our badge

While we were on the 12+ hour road trip to Lawrenceburg, TN, I noticed Mari was scratching her head more than what would be considered normal. (Wait, what? You drove 12+ hours in a car with your kids? Yeah and in a Honda Civic, no less. More on that another time.)

When we arrived at my in-laws, I took a deep breath and did a check. Yep, I found 1 little bastard and my heart sank. My sister-in-law spotted some nits and really showed me what to look for. (Thank you Amy!!!) She wasn’t grossed out by it and didn’t get the heebie geebies either. She may not have realized how much that helped my sanity. Seriously, thank you!

To note:

1. The first question people will ask you is “Where did she get it?” To which, I wanted to say, I don’t really think that’s the issue at hand. She has ‘em, the better question is how do we get rid of them?
2. Yes, how do you get rid of them? Well, you have to ask yourself do you want to go a more natural route or do you want the chemicals?
3. You will feel instantly itchy all over your body, especially your head. It’s normal and you might not have lice yourself, especially if you have a shaved head.
4. Be prepared to drop some money and spend several hours attacking them.

Don and I loaded up into our car, headed in to town and stocked up on supplies. For us, we wanted a multi-prong attack. We wanted the heavy stuff, the natural stuff, prevention for everyone else. The pharmacy tech was so very nice and helpful. She gave us a look that was the equivalent of a hug and told us good luck. We appreciated the sentiment.

left to right:

• Licefreee with tea tree oil which is a shampoo+conditioner to wash everyone’s hair after the treatment.
• Lice Treatment which is the actual chemical stuff, but said it was safe to use on babies 2 months plus (we didn’t treat the Sugarbaby. She was and has been lice free.)
• Stop Lice shampoo for the other family members who might have been infected.
• Stop Lice In-home spray to spray down the couches, carpets, car seats, etc
• Combs

Not pictured: Jar of mayonnaise, bottle of olive oil, lice shield leave in spray

This is a accurate representation of our daughters’ hair:

The Sugarbaby has very little light and thin hair. What she has is curly. The Sugarbean has long and curly hair. It can get unruly and wild like our child. She LOOOVES her hair and prefers it long. Cutting her hair was not an option. Oh and she’s 4.

This is what we did (took us about 5-6 hours):

First thing, we took a deep breath. Then, we sat her down and explained what we were going to have to do and how long it would take. That she would have to sit still like a statue for long periods of time, but we would give her breaks. That one louse I’d found, after I killed it, I showed it to her. She’s a very visual person, like me, and I knew it would help her to put it all together. After we talked with her, we asked her if she understood. In her words, “Yes, Mommy. You have to kill the bugs in head because they are biting me and making me itchy and I don’t want to be itchy because I don’t like the bugs and I need you to kill them. No bug party in my head! I am ready, but don’t cut my hair. I’ll be brave, I promise.” Admittedly, I got a bit choked up.

We took the Knot Genie and ran it through her hair to get all of the tangles out. After brushing, we tossed it into a bowl of water that had just been boiled and set on the counter for cooling. The water was hot enough to sterilize the brush, but not enough to melt the plastic.

Then, we went to wash her hair in the tub. We lathered and scrubbed and lathered and scrubbed. She wore her bathing suit during this process, only because she wanted to. we figured it was easiest considering the multiple rinses we would have to do. After the allotted time, we rinsed and noticed some of the carcasses rinsing out.

We went to a well lit area and proceeded to comb through her hair to pick out the nits. I was on one side and Don* on the other. Both of us working as best as we could. During this time, we gave her the iTouch and put on her favorite movie. She would naturally have to look down to watch the movie (Tinkerbell!). That part took us nearly an entire movie. We took a break and let her shake out her neck. *Yes, we are a good team. He was there with me helping me pick through all of that hair. Thanks babe!

Then I drizzled a cup of warm olive oil on her scalp, giving her a scalp massage. She didn’t like this one. We rinsed her off and combed through. The olive oil made her hair really lubricated and somewhat difficult to see anything. At this point, I decided to go ahead and do the mayo.

So I took about 2 cups worth and filled my hands. I worked it into her scalp. It was cold and squishy, but she didn’t mind this at all. Then, I took a plastic sack and wrapped it around her head and kept it tied up like a bonnet. She looked like a small Amish girl, like we'd seen earlier in our visit! We let it process for 2 hours. Essentially, the olive oil is supposed to help release the nits from the hair fibers. The mayo would work the same way too. The plastic sack would help suffocate them. The heat from her head would also work in her favor.

When I took the bag off her head, I noticed a small group of dead bugs at the nape of her neck. Like they were trying to escape or something. ewwwww...I’m not gonna lie. It grossed me out. But I took comfort in knowing that it was working! We rinsed it all out again. I used the 2nd bottle of treatment on her head, waited the time, then rinsed again.

Then, I began to comb through her hair again to pick out any nits that we might have missed. Then, I braided her hair tightly and put a reminder in my calendar to do the treatment again in 10 days.
We then put all of the tools in that hot water and sealed them in plastic bags. When we got home, all of the stuff animals and pillows were put into plastic bags in the garage. This is where having lice in the summer works in our favor. We’ve been having 100+ weather and in a car and a garage, that heat will kill any lingering eggs. VERY GRATEFUL for that.

10 days, I got the alarm and checked her head and yes, found 1 single louse and 3 nits. Off to the mayonnaise and tea tree oil. Again with washing the linens. We didn’t take any stuffed animals out of their bags. They’d still been in the garage. This time, I wrapped her hair in saran wrap and opted to put some mayo in my hair because, well, it needed a conditioning treatment and I didn’t want her to be alone. There we sat having a beauty day. Painting nails and hanging out. I rinsed off our hair, dried it, then combed it out.


I also took a flat-iron to her hair. The first time, ever for her. I figured the heat from the flat iron would also help kill any lingering eggs. I mean it couldn’t hurt, right? She felt fancy with her straight hair! It took me about an hour. Whoa, this whole thing is a lesson in patience!


Since that last treatment, I’ve sprayed her hair morning and night with tea tree oil. Brushed every night, treated the brush and comb, and braided the hair tightly. So far, so good.

Keep the toys bagged for at least 10 days.

Eggs can’t survive for longer than 10 days.

Kill the source.

It only takes one female to lay an ungodly amount of eggs. Familiarize yourself with the lifecycle of them and know where in the cycle the louse is and the eggs, too (like when they will hatch).

Treat all things you can’t wash.

This includes car seats, favorite dolls, combs, brushes, etc..

Have patience.

It’s bound to happen. It’s ok to be grossed out. Be sure to notify anyone that your child may have come into contact, so they are aware.

Talk to your friends and use the Internet, too. I couldn’t believe all of the support we received. It was really great! And if you found this because you are going through it, then good luck!! Hugs!

Supermoms...nah, just really great support systems

It takes a village, right? During what was probably one of the most hectic months of my life, my support system kicked it into high gear. After returning from Thanksgiving break, I had to hop a plane to NYC for work. I would be away from my littles for almost a week. This was the first time I was away from baby T. It was a tough transition, but we made it work. The following week, I jetted off to Boulder for training. I don't like to go into detail about my actual "job," because I like to keep it separate. But for point of reference, I felt I had to include some high-level tidbits. Anyway, we are in the middle of some serious projects and all hands are on deck. I'm so blessed to work with intelligent, high level thinkers. I'm even more blessed to have an understanding manager. We are all pitching in and doing what needs to get done when Tesla comes down with a fever. Because it is near the holiday break for schools, my husband can't take time off for work. Aaaaack!

Mommy guilt sets in, but I need to go into the office. I'd been pushing meetings off all week to try to curb this illness of hers (nevermind my own tonsils and adenoids are out of control), when Friday hit. Enter my Father. Thank goodness he is in town. He's here to help my mother recover, but they both selflessly agreed to help me out. I've been going back and forth in my brain about whether or not I needed to be home. I know I need to be with my little one. I know I need to be at work. I have to do a good job at work so that I can have the healthcare for my little one in case this illness gets worse. Seriously, I don't know how single parents without family or other support nearby. All morning I've had this anxiety and worry over me. All morning I've been beating myself up about it.

And then I saw this photo and it gives me hope...hope that there is humanity and understanding.

I'm immediately reminded of Alicia Keys' Superwoman.....my favorite line: even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S  on the chest, oh yes Go on with your bad self, Alicia. Hell yeah! I'm feelin' better. Play this and toast yourself if you are a hard working parent.

Taking Care of Your Body

Jacki is a wealth of information and knowledge, but she's also inspiring. She isn't full of those cheesy quotes that, I'll admit, I like, but sometimes are annoying. She keeps it real. For example:  

"Please, friends, take your health seriously! Fix your diet! Exercise! You are NOT super human!"

I'd been boo-hooing to myself about my ankle and making all sorts of excuses to not workout. I mean, really, c'mon. I have the dang TV on. I even have it on the free OnDemand section, more often than not. I just need to scroll on over to the Exercise section and get moving. But NOOOoO! I want to run. I want foot to hit pavement and log miles. I like seeing the distance. I like the running endorphins. Who is this crazy person talking in my head? Oh, yeah, it's that tiny voice inside of me that was quivering with emotion because just 3 short years ago, I was in New York running a marathon!

I made a promise to myself that I would run, no matter the pain on Monday. Even if it was just a quarter mile, I just needed to get moving and get back on track. Luckily for me, I had some things going for me. Redbox sent me a code for a free movie. HOORAY! I weighed myself earlier and somehow managed to break the threshold that I haven't broken since 3 years ago!! REALLY! 3 years since I was last in this weight category!!! My little goal of 1lb per week is working! I wanted to keep it at, so a run would only help that.

And then it started sprinkling.

My head was pounding, dinner was ready when I got home, I needed to edit photos, visit mom, catch up with a friend, all of this nonsense that is my typical evening. My nephew was playing his final football game and I really wanted to be there, but with the girls schedule (or lack thereof, but I'm trying to get them on one), I wished him good luck and he understood. Even better when my sister told me that it may be cancelled because of lightning.

I snuggled Tesla-bug in our bed and she nursed for a bit. I was totally zapped and ready to nap, when I looked up. Don was dressed to go for a run. He had Mari ready and was preparing the stroller. So, I too got dressed. I threw on my shorts and my old marathon long sleeve tech shirt. It was humid. I thought, "Quick run, Bianca. You have to run fast to beat this rain. It's a short two miles!" I set the timer and off we went. And boy howdy did we take off! I logged that first mile in under 9 minutes! We had a short break at the stop light and at Redbox. (After all, they were the reason we were running to begin with.) It started sprinkling, but I didn't pay any attention. It felt GREAT! While we were waiting for the light to change, I did some squats and air squats with jumps. Mari had a wonderful kick out of it, commanding me to do more jumping. She's such a hardcore trainer, that one!

On the trip back, though, my lungs began to catch fire again. My throat was feeling it, but I pressed on. As we trekked across the concrete, though, I slipped a bit. My ankles were fine, but I swore I had mis-stepped. No worries, my initial body check still felt normal. I kept running, even though my pace had slowed dramatically. That was until we ran past crazy homeless man who was shouting Jet's "Cold Heart B!tch" song. Um, no thank you crazy dude. Keep those lyrics to yourself and out of earshot of my 3 year old who wants to repeat everything. I sensed Don speed up and his uneasiness. I kicked it in gear and my fight or flight response really kicked in. I don't know, but when I passed him, I got the super-duper willies! Yikes! Then, I really kicked up the run, and was running alongside Don. I was steady at an 8:30 mile pace uphill in the wet grass (the sidewalk wasn't wide enough) to get away from him. And then my imagination took me to The Walking Dead and all I could think was us desperately fleeing hungry zombies. What a horrific thought! But it got me going!

An hour after the run, my ankle started to swell, but it wasn't in dramatic pain. However, my back....ugh! My poor, poor back. I wanted to say I was suffering sympathy pains for my mother, but no, this was my doing. I somehow tweaked it and it became painful to sit, stand, or walk. Don ran off to the store to buy a new heating pad (mine finally bit the dust after, oh, 15 years). While he was gone, I took a hot bath with a Calavera Lush bath bomb and Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. Yeah, I know, I've been reading that book for over a year now. Whatever. It takes that long when you only read two paragraphs every other week! I think I only have 3 chapters before I'm done, though! yaay!

At work, my back was still screaming, despite taking an Advil. I scurried down to the little bodega on the first floor with hopes they would have a Thermacare heating pad. WHAT LUCK! Of course they did! They have everything in there, including Silver Oak wine, cigars, pregnancy tests, ice cream bars, lottery tickets, Hallmark cards, and well, any thing else you may need. I tore open the package and put it on. Within half an hour, I had some much needed relief! I made it through the rest of the day, but I will definitely be icing it before my next run and scheduling an appointment with my chiropractor to get adjusted!

All that to say, take care of your body. Listen to what it says! Maybe mine is telling me to give the running a rest and get back into yoga with intermittent runs.

PSA: Don’t Leave Your Running Car Unattended

On July 4th, early in the morning, we were loading up the car for an early morning photo shoot. A few photo shoots, actually. We live in Texas, so it gets HOT in the summer. Flaming hot, folks! It’s best to wake up with the sun and get started shortly after. For your efforts, though, you are rewarded with awesome light.

Our first one was special, since we planned to photograph our girls with their Grandma Carol. She’d just met her newest granddaughter the day before and we wanted to be sure to capture this special time. While I readied our girls, Don prepped the gear. He had it all together and decided to go ahead and load it up since I still had to do Mari’s hair. Usually, he loads the girls and then will load the gear, but that morning, well, we were running a little behind. Totally my fault since I was having a dance party in the room with Mari while we were getting ready. Tesla was dressed in her outfit. Mari was dressed in hers. I was dressed in mine. Don walked in and was searching for something. I wasn’t sure, and he remembered and walked off.

I resumed with Mari’s hair. I was in the middle of pulling her hair back in a half ponytail when Don walked in with a look that was part horror and part fury. “Where’s the car?”

Now when you hear those words, they don’t really register immediately. I stared at him baffled, like he’d just asked me to explain String Theory. Then he blurted out, “ThecarwasjuststolenIT’SGONE!!!!” “Call the cops!”

My heart sank. My mind raced to find a solution to the problem. We didn’t have a car. We were going to miss the photo session with my MIL, but our next session was in half an hour. We had one small car. We can maybe still make it after we file the police report. Where are the cameras? “Where are the cameras?” “They were in the car!!”

You see, at this time, I wasn’t aware that he’d been loading the car. Additionally, we had rented some fabulous lenses for the weekend that cost almost as much as one semester of college. Those lenses were with the cameras. &(*$#^

“Mommy, you said a bad word! You need to wash your mouth with soap!” said a tiny voice. I stood there shaking, feeling guilty. If I hadn’t taken so long. If I hadn’t complained about the car. If…if…if…and I stared at my girl. I’m glad I had taken so long. My girls are with me. My husband is ok. We are ok. I wiped the tears that were forming and I went into recovery mode.

I walked to the front of the house, down the street, and questioned the neighbor. He didn’t see anything and said a prayer for us. I remembered that we had OnStar and called them. Immediately, they were on the line and had activated their system to find our car. I was, surprisingly, calmer than I thought I would be. I was shaking, really shaking.

Don emerged and he too was in the same state of shock/fight or flight. He recounted d the the whole scenario. He was loading the car to make up some of the time. He started the car because it was already getting hot. He’d run inside to grab whatever he was looking for right before I was doing Mari’s hair. He heard the car speed off while he was inside, right as he located whatever it was he was looking for. Who was out that early in the morning? And he hadn’t seen anyone outside except the neighbor down the street working on the lawn. The hatch was open and that was it.

I sat down on the computer and sent out an S.O.S. to Facebook with the hopes that maybe our other neighbors or local friends might see something. I glanced over and there were the cameras!! Apparently, they’d taken a tumble out of the car. Hooray, our cameras had tried to escape. I snatched them up and was about to fully inspect them when the police knocked on our door.

We raced to the door, crowding the opening, staring at the police officer with wide eyes. “Are you ready?” We stared at him. “What?” “Are you ready to go get your car? We found it and caught the guy who took it.” I practically jumped on him and squeezed him tightly. Tears of joy running down my face! I was so, so happy and grateful!

Don loaded up to go claim our vehicle. We called our clients to let them know we’d be delayed. They were so understanding and for that, we were grateful! Meanwhile, I snapped a couple of pictures of my girls with their Grandma while we waited. You can see where Tesla was noshing on her shoulder. The light wasn’t as spectacular as I wanted it to be, but we made it work. We delayed our “real” shoot to another day, but I was happy that we were able to capture these two before we had to be on our way.

When Don returned, he told me that the man they caught was a homeless man from a town 60 miles away. The police officer had told him that when they heard of our car, they immediately noticed the car. The thief recognized that he’d been recognized, and threw the car in park and abandoned it. He took off on foot. The police caught up with him. He had taken Tesla’s bottle warmer, Don’s sunglasses, and what he thought was a gift card, but was just a reward card. My heart broke for the man. I would have gladly given him the bottle warmer. Apparently, the portable heating devices are quite valuable in the homeless population.

I was grateful for the police officers and thanked God for answered prayers! Thank you:

• Sgt. Pat Clark
• Sgt. Rick Gonzales
• Officer Kevin Butler
• Officer Todd Koons

Burlesque Baby Shower at The Ruby Room

Yes, you read that right! A burlesque baby shower. Now before you go get some crazy ideas, first go educate yourself on what Burlesque really is. I recently watched the movie and NPR did a feature story on Gypsy Rose Lee. I was totally fascinated. When my best friends told me they wanted to host a baby shower for me, I was so excited, but at the same time I didn't want to seem greedy. There really wasn't anything we needed for baby Tesla. We would like to have a few more cloth diapers, we could always use wet wipes, and I really wanted a car seat cover to give the existing one a new look. See what I mean, nothing we needed. However, I did want to see my girls and it had been far too long since we'd all gotten together and enjoyed one another's company. When one of my friends mentioned a break dancing class she was taking at the Ruby Room, I clicked on it to learn more and saw that they offered private burlesque classes! I mentioned it to my BFF and next thing you know, the invites were sent out!

Nine of my closest gals and I trekked down to Exposition Park to shimmy and shake. We had a warm-up, learned a routine, then enjoyed cake, and opened gifts. I have to stop and admit that I FORGOT my camera. How did I forget it? I had my phone, but totally forgot the camera and tripod. I was really upset with myself for that one. Anyway, all of these photos are from camera phones and let me tell you, I'm grateful we had them and I'm grateful at the quality of them too!! I think I was too obsessed with having my coffee. ha ha

The cake by Cake My Day was a delicious yellow cake with buttercream frosting. Delicious and moist! Don't you love the feather detail and the cute garter around the bottle? I do!

The Ruby Room is a studio space with amazing hardwood floors and such wonderful natural light that I was SINCERELY kicking myself for not having had my camera. Seriously, do you understand how awesome the pictures would have been? This is the view from the furthest corner once inside of the studio:

And this is the view from the entryway to the studio. See all of that light? delightful!

This is me with our instructor, Elisa. She is the creator of the Ruby Revue (monthly show at the House of Blues) and the Dallas Burlesque Festival. Not only is she stunning, but she is captivating when she dances and so fun to learn to dance with.

Here I am with the fabulous hostesses. We had so much fun dancing and laughing and best of all, making memories!

And Elisa is the reason a bunch of gorgeous gals went from sassy to...

Va-Va-Va-Voom!

It wasn't just adding some feather boas either. I know I learned some new moves and how to channel my inner dancer.

Oh, and did I mention the gifts? We were showered with enough wet wipes to get us through the first 3 months!!! As well as some uber-cute outfits, socks, washcloths, a bank, and a gift card to Gap (my favorite shop for the girls!). Something you may notice about this photo and the one above are all of the feathers strewn about the floor. Well, we were working those boas!

All in all, it was a blast! I would totally like to take another class, especially when I'm not 35 weeks pregnant!! If I can still move that good at 35 weeks, I know I could do much better without the extra weight! ;)  But seriously, I had a wonderful workout, I was totally comfortable, and it was so much fun being there with my girls! If you are looking for a special girls night out, then I would HIGHLY recommend booking a private class. Bring some wine, bring some chocolate, wear sexy/comfortable workout clothes, bring your sassiest heels, and get your burlesque on! Heck, even as a baby shower, it was fun...especially for a 2nd baby shower!

If you are interested in learning more about burlesque or wanting to take a class, check out The Ruby Room for times. It is totally worth it! Tell Elisa I sent you.

Thanks so much gals for a memorable time!

What I learned:

• One of the biggest questions I was asked was, what do I wear? We said wear comfortable clothes. After taking the class, I realize that one should wear dance wear or something similar and especially bring high heels, but the kind that are comfortable enough to dance in.
• Accessories are a plus! My friend brought her own feather boa. Elisa had some there for us, but if you have your own that is softer, I would recommend it. If you have the long opera gloves, totally wear them. They will help you feel that much more like a dancer!
• Don't be shy. None of your friends are looking at you. They are all looking at themselves in the mirror doing their very best to get the steps down. If you friends are laughing, it is probably nervous laughter at themselves. I know I was laughing at myself...especially because I was completely opposite with the turns, the steps, and the hip shaking. ha ha ha
• Alcohol would probably help, but having friends that you love and laugh with helps even more! Nothing is sexier than a smile. Wear it!
• Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate...seriously, you will be working out so much and moving that you WILL sweat. It was like when we would go out dancing all night long and I wondered why I was always parched the next day. This is that type of workout!

A little something to brighten your day...

Now isn't that sweet?  I totally think so!! 

And a little bonus for you go-getters out there. Do you ever feel like you try and try and try and things just don't work out as planned. Or you really put forth some huge effort and BAM you're immediately humbled back to reality? Well, such was the case for me last night. This is what is known as the Epic Birthday Cake Fail. I had high hopes for that upside down pineapple cake. It went from a mass craving to, this will be the birthday cake for Mari's party, along with cupcakes.

Looks healthy enough, right? I mean, not healthy, but definitely mouth watering, right? At least I thought so! In the oven they went for 45 minutes and out they came:

Here is where things took a spin for the worse. You might be able to see it already in this photo, but I probably needed to let the cakes cool a lot longer. Let's say....OVERNIGHT in the FRIDGE OR FREEZER! But no, it was nearing midnight and I wanted to be done with it. The recipe said 45 minutes and I'd already spent over an hour and a half with prep and baking. But look closely. There in the middle of the cake you can see that it is starting fall. And to the center right of the cake...yep, right there, it's starting to crumble.

Here is where a person who has had more sleep, a more logical person, would put the cake in the freezer or fridge and be patient. Not me, I wanted that instant gratification. I made some amazing icing and dangit, I wanted it to be nice and beautiful and delicious. So I began to frost my cake...while it was still plenty warm. Do you see where I'm going with this? Yes, my cake started to melt the frosting. Yes, the white frosting was becoming engulfed with caramel color, pineapple bits, and melted Maraschino cherry. THEN, a chunk fell in my hand. I couldn't take it any longer. I tried to use the frosting like glue and put it back together, but it just wasn't working. It was stuck to my hand. I'm pregnant, and this pineapple goodness was a bonafide craving. Little Tesla was willing that tropical ambrosia to my belly. So I shoved the damn thing in my mouth and sweet baby Jesus it was heaven! Had I not started to cry a little bit at my failed attempt at making a two layer cake, I TOTALLY would have devoured the entire cake. And the mini cake too!

Instead, I did my best to keep all of the frosting tidy on the top and shoved it in the fridge and pretended that it was what I'd done all along. 15 minutes later, I opened the door to peek in. It's like I somehow thought I had a magical refrigerator and something that Martha herself would appear in place of the disaster that I'd tossed in. But no, I don't have a magical fridge. It is real and mean and honest and blatantly laughs at my mistakes. Because not only was there a mess when I put it in, but it managed to get worse. (please don't put this on cake wrecks)

My cakes are lopsided, the center is nearly half an inch caved in, making this appear more like a bundt cake, and yes, that's a giant piece that has fallen off and given up in culinary surrender. *sigh* Be jealous of my baking adventures! So what if my cakes aren't store perfect pretty. It is pretty darn delicious and so far I'm batting a thousand because the uglier I make something, the tastier it seems to be.

There you go. High five yourself as I happily take my failure bow. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I will still try to salvage the smaller cake and use it as a smash cake and the larger one will be reserved for a more intimate gathering of family who could care less what things look like because in this case, they see the beauty with their bellies.

I'm just glad I was pretty good at "baking" Mari. She turned out to be sweet and beautiful! Wish you all a very happy pre-Valentine's Day!

p.s. I made the Valentine layout using a free action from MCP Actions.

Christmas Traditions...in the ER

Well, let's hope this doesn't become a Christmas tradition, that's for sure! Eeesh. Also, this can be the great lengths I go to avoid cats. LOL! No, those are just jokes. Backstory...

We made a quick turnaround from our Colorado trip to head North to Kansas. Around 11PM, my MIL called us to let us know that she was pent up at home with either food poisoning or a stomach bug. We opted to not chance it and when we pulled into Salina around midnight, we checked into to The Candlewood Suites. Seriously, these guys were amazing. We spent $72, including taxes for a warm bed, free Internet, and a place that welcomed Guapo! They were so hospitable and friendly. Of course, we'd been traveling for most of the day and we were all flat out exhausted. We cuddled in and slept until she called the next morning at 9. She let us know that shortly after she last talked to us, she was fine. When she arrived at our room, I'd thrown on some clothes and headed out to run errands with her. We met up with Don and Mari, loaded up the car to go to her place. We unloaded all of our goodies, and headed out for breakfast, which was really breakfast for lunch, but I liked it fine. We had a couple of family and friends as visitors, and even made a Christmas craft. Then, we went to dinner and Don and I went out to buy the last minute Christmas gifts that still needed to be purchased. When we finally made it back, we passed out. The next day was going to be a big one!

We were up early wrapping gifts and planning out the day. I explained to Mari the importance of a good nap because we were going to have quite a long evening that night. Plus, Santa would be coming. I was kicking myself for forgetting the special Santa wrapping paper I had purchased just for the Santa gifts! Dangit! Fortunately, my MIL has loads of wrapping paper and gift tags and is equally generous with her supplies. I was tremendously grateful because I did NOT want to venture out for either. When we go to Kansas, we get to visit lots of Don's extended family. Christmas Eve, we spent time with both great-grandmothers. Here's a shot of Mari & Don with one of them:

We'd seen great aunts & uncles, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins, and indulged on yummy treats. Earlier that day, we had visited Santa, too. Anyway, it was then stated that one of the spouses of our cousins was at home with the stomach bug. Then, there were tales of it having gone around all through Kansas and through the immediate family. That specific family member also let us know that her son had had it twice! My heart sank and I rushed to the bathroom to wash my hands. But I knew it was too late. I'd already been exposed and it was just a matter of time for it to strike. I prayed and prayed and prayed for it to pass me by, but then I glanced over at Don and Mari and continued to pray that it would miss us all.

That night, when we were getting ready for bed, I had Mari sleep with Don and I slept on another bed. Actually, before I could even fall asleep, I headed upstairs closer to the bathroom just in case. Around 3:30, I woke up and ran over, thinking I would get sick, but instead I just had to pee. I fell back to sleep on the sofa with my stomach twisting in knots and cramping. I chalked it up to the egg nog I'd had earlier. Granted, I'd drank the egg nog at 7:30 the morning before, but 'eh, one could hope, right? An hour and a half later at 5, it began. I showered at 8, and mustered up enough strength to eat some cereal, knowing full well it wouldn't stay down. I ate two bites, handed the bowl to Don and excused myself. Afterwards, I cleaned and disinfected the bathroom as best as I could, and suggested we check out the tree. Don handed me some water to sip on and I tumbled into the living room and landed on the couch. Mari managed to open six gifts and she was done opening presents. I didn't even open one. Instead, when she took her break, I ran to the bathroom to excuse myself yet again. This was the worst of it. When I caught my breath, I broke down and lost it emotionally. I wept there in the bathroom out of embarrassment, anger, frustration, and desperation. I prayed that I wouldn't go into early labor. I willed the child inside of me to somehow cope with this illness, but I knew it was getting dangerous for me. I'd sip water, and less than 5 minutes later, it was back with some bile. We tried to finish opening gifts when I thought I was "empty." Somehow, we made it through.

And then it was time for lunch. Instead, I retreated to the bathroom and took a short nap on the floor, clutching the sick bucket and using a towel for a pillow. I got up after 30 minutes and proceeded to get sick again. Once again, I crawled into the shower and it seemed to help some, until I didn't have the strength to move. Don came in and helped me out. He swaddled me in towels and a borrowed robe and suggested we go to the ER, especially because I couldn't stand on my own. I agreed and we verified which hospital was in our network. (Isn't that sad that you have to check before hand, but man, it totally makes a big difference in final payment! Heck, I'm just glad we have insurance!!) I sipped a bit of water and managed to dress to go.

With tears in my eyes, I waved at Mari, fearing to hug her lest she get what I had, and was so very upset that our Christmas was going to be spent apart. I took comfort in seeing tiny flecks of snow fall down from above. That's the final thing Mari wanted for Christmas and there it was.We arrived to the ER. After doing the basic paperwork, I called my folks. We had a bad connection and I couldn't call them back because that little sip of water I had demanded a bathroom immediately. We went through the logistics of hospital check-in, and the directed us up to labor and delivery because I was past 20 weeks. This would help them keep a better eye on Tesla. As Don wheeled me to that floor, I was overcome with emotion and feared the worst. The last time I was sick like this, we were all sick. Since I was the only one sick, I was afraid I was in premature labor. I didn't feel any contractions and my water hadn't broken, but the lower back pain, the vomiting, the everything else...it was there. The kind nurse settled me and calmed my fears. We heard Tesla on the baby monitor and her heart rate was normal. As a matter of fact, she was flipping around in there having a party. I was afraid she was like a fish with too little water and was flopping around. It sounds absurd now, but at the time, all sorts of rational was out. My heart rate was normal and so was the fever. I was however dehydrated. They started me on 1 liter of IV fluid, which she said would take about an hour. Don snapped a photo of our view. You can barely make out the lining of snow on the rooftops.

I lamented that we didn't bring Christmas goodies for the nurses. After all, they were away from their family too. Don chuckled and told me, even now, you're worried about others. He told me to calm down and let people take care of me.

After 45 minutes of the IV, I snapped a self portrait. Sexy shot right there, let me tell you. That's the latest in hospital wear too! That hair style courtesy of no conditioner and no products. But hey, look, there's color back in my lips and you can no longer see the veins popping out of my hands, face, and neck. Yaaay!

My spirits were then lifted by technology when my Facebook friends sent many thoughtful comments, prayers, and well wishes. But then the blood results returned and my potassium levels were too low, so after that IV liter was finished, it was replaced with another one that was fortified with potassium. I was told that this one would take about two hours. An hour into it and I finally had to pee. Hooray!

Unfortunately, my body was not responding well to the Immodium and while not vomiting, I was still not up to par. By this time, the 1st nurse's shift had ended and I was now in the company of dear Erin. After peeing, she allowed me to sip on some water, but insisted I buzz her if I got sick. I sent Don away to grab some dinner for himself and I tried to sleep. I awoke about half an hour later when one of the monitors was beeping. Apparently my blood pressure was much too low and my temperature was nearing 100. Tesla was still ok. Erin prepared me for an overnight stay, just in case. She brought me some extra warm blankets and I called Don to ask him to bring me some socks and reading material. I needed to stop crying because it didn't help the dehydration.

The shift changed again, and so did my IV. I went to the bathroom again and success, just pee! My fever was kept at bay, and my blood pressure was improving. At 9PM, the nurse informed me that the doc said I could go home. By this time, I had taken in nearly 3 liters of fluid. When I later thought about it, 3 liters is what we buy in soda for a party. I had nearly the equivalent of one of those through the IV. It totally blew my mind! I successfully walked out of the hospital, which actually took me quite a long time with my short shuffle steps.

We made it home before midnight and Mari happily greeted me with a big, warm hug! I chugged down some broth and a small gatorade and passed out. The next day my body was totally sore, the previous day's events mere remnants in my mind. Two days later and my neck and stomach muscles are still strained from the heaving and retching and everything else. I'm TOTALLY and COMPLETELY spent.

Many friends ask me if I ever sleep because I'm always on the go. When I'm sick, I get sleep. I guess that's when I get the more "normal" amounts of sleep like everyone else. Regardless, I'm glad to be able to sit upright for an hour at a time. I'm grateful to not be dizzy. I'm especially grateful that Don, Mari, and Tesla are ok. And even more humbled by all of the prayers and well wishes sent out to me on Christmas day. I never felt alone and had the wings of angels wrapped around me. The moment I reached out for help, I got it and I was so uplifted. If you are reading this, thank you for that!

June 1, 2010

It is the start of the birthday month and I have very lofty goals. Instead of being a full-on typical glutton/consumer, I'm going to do my very best to limit my spending. Instead, I want to see what types of fruits I can spread by either selling items or giving them away.

For instance, instead of going on a shopping spree for new clothes, instead, I'm going to try to find new ways to re-purpose what I already have and donate some items in my closet. I know this is possible because just this past weekend I re-purposed one of my old long-sleeved tunics into a girls mid-sleeve dress. (No, I didn't get a before or after, maybe an after later on if she wears it again.)

My friend Jacki participates in a Stash Game where she spends an entire month sewing through her fabric stash. You aren't allowed to buy any new fabric, just sew what you have. I may not ever go through an entire fabric stash game, but I would like to make two new items to wear from my existing stash. One of them, I hope to be a tunic! Also, I have a very important gift that I've been working on for a while that I haven't gotten around to finishing. Hopefully I will be able to accomplish that very, very soon!

Also, I want to clean off my bathroom counter top. How else can I achieve a DIY makeover if I can't even see my countertop. No, I'm not going to take a photo and post it here. Talk about embarrassing!! Although, the threat of it may whip me into shape to clean it up before my husband can sneak a photo. But hey, I have an excuse. I suffered a horrendously embarrassing experience with a DIY home waxing, while not painful, ended up amazingly messy with my epic klutz-skills. Yeah, don't hate! Not everyone can gracefully spill wax on the carpet, countertop, and bits on the mirror and ceiling without breaking an arm! Oh yeah, I'm that good.  (Anyone out there know how to get wax out of carpet?)

That's that. I've finally completed a bridal portrait session and tomorrow I hope up to wrap up the senior portrait session we did last week.

Thank you friends for treating me to some awesome Indo-Pak food tonight. Definitely an amazing birthday surprise and treat!! Yaaaay!! Happy day 1 of the birthday month.

HDMR: Angels in America, Planet 51, Titan Review

Today, I'm blogging for Breast Cancer Research. My friend Jackie has challenged herself to raise $5000 this year in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day walk! I think this is a wonderful idea, so today's HDMR is brought to you by the letter "B" for breasts! They are life saving devices, you know! She has asked her blogging friends to donate their post today in honor of her effort and is requesting that each reader go out and donate $10 to the cause. Can you donate $10 to the cause? I know I can. I know I'm going to. Not just to her walk, but all of my friends walks. Whoa...that's gonna be a lot of money going towards the SGK 3Day, but it'll be a great thing! Today, you can be a part of something much greater than yourself, so go on and join in with the others. For fun, today's ratings will be made in bra sizes. P.S. Don't forget to do your monthly self-check!

Angels in America
Al Pacino, Emma Thomson, Meryl Streep, Mary-Louise Parker, Michael Gambon, James Cromwell, and my new favorite, Jeffrey Wright all star in this political epic about the the AIDS crisis in the 80s. (taken from the IMDB page found here.) This is a 6 part television series that is very serious, but doesn't take itself too seriously with the outlandish "visions" and dream sequences. This is very gay, duh. Hello, it's about AIDS in the 80s. It is very, very moving, riveting, captivating and will have you questioning a lot about how you view/judge others in all realms of life. There were parts of it that were very, very difficult to watch. And there were parts of it that I fell completely in love with the characters. I wish I knew the Belize character in real life. He had such a tender way and on a turn could cut you sharp with a mere glance or voice inflection. Seriously, who knew Emma Thomson could do a thick American accent as Nurse Emily. I LOVED this series. I'm adding it to my list of must-haves. Rating: DD Cup...the cup over runneth

Planet 51
We rented this little movie because Mari was so brave at her doctor visit, she deserved a reward. Instead of letting her watch one of her other movies for the bazillionth time, we opted to rent Planet 51. There were parts of the movie that were fun. I really enjoyed how the aliens were in a '50s era. They dressed that way, their transportation was familiar, and even the drive-in's were popular, along with the kitschy horror films of the day. The robot dog was endearing, as was the dog. Overall, this movie was ok. It didn't captivate Don or myself, but it did hold Mari's attention. We weren't surprised when she didn't ask us to watch it again. I did like their message of acceptance and getting to know things before assuming they are a certain way based on the way they look. Rating: Training Bra...gettin' there

Titan Peeler
Those of you who are infomercial junkies like I am will know what this little gadget is. For $14.99 you get all this, but wait there's more!! Actually, I bought this guy at the grocery store. They had an end cap with the infomercial on loop playing and a nice display of the peelers happily smiling their sharp, slick smile, taunting me to purchase it. I remember being excited about it when I saw and even Don had remarked about wanting to try it out. They had it on sale for $11.98, so I picked one up. That night, I got home, took it out of the package carefully, washed it and grabbed a potato to peel. I did it just like the infomercial, but used the same force I would use with any potato peeler. IDIOT!!! Folks, this is a razor. This is an old-school-no-safety-device-in-sight-exposed-blade-I'm-gonna-shank-you kind of razor. I had nicely peeled that potato, along with a lovely sliver of skin from my thumb. Yes, it slices human skin equally perfect as a potato skin. I didn't immediately bleed. I stood there, in awe and amazement at the sheer perfection of skin I held in my hand, then I realized, "I'm holding a sliver of flesh in my hand!" Then the blood began to gush and it wouldn't stop. I'd exposed a very delicate part of my epidermis that even water made it burn. Wow! No really, wow, it hurt! It really, really freakin' hurt. I was finally able to clot properly after soaking through 3 band-aids. I was seriously contemplating on wrapping my thumb in a sanitary pad.

After the fiasco was cleaned, Don picked up the Titan and I shrieked from across the kitchen and thrust  the instructions in his face, while showcasing my bloody thumb that was about to completely envelop yet another band-aid. (sidenote: oddly enough, the band-aid that worked best was the Finding Nemo band-aid, not the regular flesh toned or clear band-aids) He nodded at me and I held on tightly to the counter top as if him using the Titan would cause the earth to open us and swallow us. I kept muttering over and over that we'd have to take it back and we just couldn't have such a thing in the house with the toddler around. Well, if he didn't pick up the thing and whip out two peeled potatoes in no time flat. I felt like a total moron. For now, the Titan stays, but it is going to be stored up high, out of mine and the Sugarbean's reach. Rating: B Cup...a handful is just enough

Thanks again folks! And please check out Jackie's site!