My darling daughter,

Do you know what a joy it is to be your mother? When my alarm goes off in the morning, I have one that sounds 5 minutes before you awake. This is to ensure that I am at a point in my morning routine to stop, walk down the hallway and wake you with a hug. Who doesn't want to start their day with a hug. It took me a bit to realize this is something that you likely needed, but more than you, it was something I needed to.

This year, you have achieved milestones. In the course of your short volleyball career, you've managed to find your serve. You are an excellent leader, you have fun, and best of all, you are an excellent teammate. You celebrate with your friends when they excel and you encourage them when they aren't their best. You are a heavy critic with yourself and while it breaks my heart a bit to see you get so down, I am appreciative of your internal voice pushing you to be better.

 

We had an extended family vacation filled with plenty of outdoor activities. It was my hope that you would fall in love with the Pacific like I did so many years ago. My heart leapt each time I saw you dancing with the waves on the shore. You took to each water sport as if it were second nature, not surprising, but I remained in awe. You wanted me to join you, saying, "C'mon, Mommy! It is easy, watch." Surfing and paddle boarding in the ocean are definitely not easy, but I liked that you felt that I could do it just as easily as you. One of my favorite moments was when we held hands while we snorkeled. Together, we watched life below the surface. I never felt more like a mermaid than in that moment, and it was definitely a happy feeling.

This year, you also had your first job! Because of a friends keen eye and consideration, you hired as a model for a local renowned sculptor. You posed for her and witnessing the process---an artist creating a likeness of you---was poignant and meaningful. Soon, your 9 year old likeness will be in a public space for many to enjoy. I can't wait to see it and be able to visit it when you are older!

You also encountered other milestones, ones that I hoped you wouldn't have to face again for a long time. With grace, you dealt with unwanted attention from classmates, and were empowered by using your voice to speak up and say, "No, this isn't right." I'm grateful for your school for working with you, to listen to you, and allow you to use your voice rather than dismiss you! You managed to work through it with very little intervention from your parents. In that moment, you needed us a little bit less, which was bittersweet. You are unwavering in your character, knowing at this young age what feels comfortable and stating clearly, when things are not.

You are coming into your own! You are inquisitive, creative, intuitive, passionate, inspiring, stubborn, fearless, loyal, considerate, definitely an authentic individual! We've made it these first ten years. I continue to be unapologetically emotional, showing you that it is more than ok to be vulnerable. I remain your biggest advocate.  I am humbled to be your mother. I'm filled with pride when you accomplish the goals you've set for yourself. Most of all, I'm just so thankful to share this life with you. Thank you for making me a mommy.

 Happy 10th, Bug!

Last Day of First Grade

Today is the last day of school for my eldest. We took a leap of faith and opted to send her to a Charter school instead of a traditional ISD. It wasn’t a good or a bad choice, but a choice that we’d felt was right for our family at the time. It is the end of the year and the biggest takeaways for the year have been:

• she has improved in her Spanish language skills, so much so that she teaches her baby sister
• she has a genuine hunger for knowledge, especially anything related to science – she has a basic understanding of photosynthesis, can identify different types of plants, knows the different types of clouds and what they signal, is aware of different climates and regions, and knowing all of that, she isn’t threatened by thunderstorms, earthquakes, or tornadoes
• she has horrendous spelling, but that had never been an emphasis for the year <—not one single spelling test this year
• she is doing fractions, complex addition, and basic division – this was made even more evident when she could divide food portions based on those fractions and she could estimate her per mile pace based on her finish times
• she has increased her strength in compassion and kindness
• she has improved her confidence so that when other kids are mean, she isn’t as bothered by it
• she is still a dreamer and fiercely independent

Next year, I am unsure if we will go back to the Charter or the traditional ISD. Several months ago, I wrote her a letter to get my thoughts out. Reading it over, those same words still ring true to me.

You've always been a curious dreamer. Your eyes will often stare off and I will catch you dancing in the sunlight when I don't hear music. I am quite familiar with both of those things. I remember when I was a child, dancing to the music in my heart with the wind blowing against my wild hair, the sun kissing my face. I remember pirouettes in the rain. I remember watching the whole world in front of my eyes, with wonder and awe, unaware that mundane things weren't meant to attract the attention that captivated me in that way. No one else saw and heard as me. The colors were more vibrant, the music was louder, the feelings were stronger, but I didn't know how unique and special that was. I wouldn't know it to be special until I was older and some of it had faded, but I did my best to pass it on to you. 

Knowing what I know, I struggle with your school(s). They want to limit the dreaming and the dancing. They need to fit it into a time-box that you can only visit a few times a week. You need to learn and grow into a productive member of society, where, SURPRISE!, closet dreamers make the world go 'round! So many of the successful people I have been fortunate to meet and know had creative energy in common. They saw the world from a different perspective, one unseen by others and they are all very driven (ambitious).
My stress is this: Where should you go for your education? I endeavor to figure out a way for you to learn and excel at important subjects like reading, math, science, writing, all while allowing your creativity to flourish. Standardized tests won't tell me how you are progressing in life. They won't tell me that you are excelling at the things that matter most: because you can't measure the unseen and the unknown. But you must learn to multiply and divide because you will need those skills in life. You must know how to read and write, because effective communication is important in life. You must remain a curious dreamer—that is something you were born with, not taught!

My child didn’t get any fancy awards this year at their ceremony. I’d prepared her, as such. She was ok with it. Her response, “Mommy, that’s ok. I don’t need any awards or certificates.  I have plenty from the other things I’ve done. I am not the best student in class. I am not the worst student. Besides, you told me that I should be better than I was yesterday and that’s all I’ve tried to do. I feel like I am better than I was when I started.” It was a punch in my gut. I am very driven and want my children to be driven. However, their motivation to achieve is vastly different in the way that I measure my own success. She’s right. She’s listened to me. She’s applied it and is happy.

I wasn’t surprised that when they called her name, what followed were: promoted to second grade and reading 1000 books. (Those damn log sheets were such a struggle for us over the past three weeks, I tell you. The child loves books and reads 1-2 hours a night. This is what happens when you aren’t allowed television during the school week and are restricted to movies on the weekends. Every where we went, she had a book! The thing was, she’d never written them down. She didn’t write them down while she was in school, either. When I asked her why, she simply said, “Mommy, I don’t write as fast as the other kids. I like to take my time. Plus, some of the other kids needed help, so I helped them or I just wanted to spend my time reading.”) She didn’t get the best student, most improved, most valuable player, best at music, best athlete, or any other academic award, therefore, she didn’t get a medal from the school. She told me that she was one of three kids in her class who didn’t get a medal, and she was ok with that. She also said she was so excited for her friends who earned their medals and gave them a high five. When I asked her if she wanted to maybe earn one the next year, she looked at me, thought about it, and said, “Maybe, but only if they think that my hardest work has earned a medal. Otherwise, no, I don’t want for them to just give me one. I want to be able to earn it. I am still going to work hard, as hard as I can, but sometimes there are just people who are better and that’s ok. It’s important to tell everyone good job for trying. Like you said Mommy, we all have different gifts and some of us are better at some things than others.”
Yep, some of us are better at some things than others.

Open Letter to My Sugarbean on Her 7th Birthday

Dear Mari,

Seven! Seven years ago, you came into this world ready. Ready for what? I’m not certain, but ready for almost anything you have been. As the oldest, the bar has been set pretty high for you. We have been firm in your discipline and have been firm in setting expectations. But not matter how firm we have been, you’ve met us, headstrong, filled with your tenacious will to do things your way. At times when you are reluctant to approach something new for fear of failure, you surprise me with how easily you can change your perspective and work through a problem, even more so when I give you the room to figure it out.

This year, you have surpassed me with your speed. In a 50 yard dash, you will win, but I still need to teach you about endurance. During the Santa Run this year, you confided in me that the sun gives you energy and water also gives you lots of energy. At the halfway point, you took a couple of cups of water and finished remarkably faster than I expected. There were tears during the race, where you had doubts you could finish. That was the first time that I tried to explain to you the metaphor of running and life. You don’t give up and quit. It may get difficult. You will want to quit, but you just have to have a moment to regroup. Slow down, get some perspective, take some deep breaths, then start again. I did my best to explain to you why I needed to stop running marathons. You had become so accustomed to me running and running for a long time, that when my training changed, you had questions. Then you touched my heart deeply because you told me that one day you were going to run a marathon for me because I couldn’t. You said, “Mama, you ran your marathons for Nana, so I want to run my marathon for you. I want to be able to run for my mother just like you did!” You turned to your father and asked him to run with you and to help me train you. I don’t know if you will ever run a marathon, but your heart---your beautifully empathetic heart reaches out and connects to people.

We took a leap of faith and switched your education to a project-based Charter school. While we were incredibly apprehensive, you have really made great strides and are flourishing. You aren’t yet devouring books, but you do enjoy reading a great deal. You also enjoy writing and observing the world around you. You are still very artistic and are happiest when you are painting or drawing.

You are just as happy when you play with your baby sister! I absolutely adore the relationship you two share. Yes, at times you bicker with one another, but the love that you each have for the other, the kindness, the generosity, the willingness to put the other before yourself…that’s what I admire most of all and hope that you continue with that leadership so you can share that relationship for the rest of your lives.

You tell me that all the colors of the rainbow are your favorite, one not more important than any other. You have such a thirst for knowledge and I often have to pull you back into reality because you drift off into your head…what a magical place your imagination must be!

Since you are turning 7 on the 7th, this year marks your golden birthday! You asked for me to surprise you for your birthday. I’ve clued you in on some details, but not many. When you wake up, there will be gold tassels, gold helium balloons, gold glitter tulle, and gold rose petals covering your room into a golden bomb. Out front, there is a yard sign signaling the whole neighborhood of your special day. In the morning, your sister and I will shuttle you off to The Drybar for a birthday blowout. You will wear your new gold sequin frock given to you from your baby sister. Afterwards, we will head home and have brunch with friends and family. Later, you will have your first not-at-home party with your classmates and best friends. It is a bit lower key for us because one of your birthday gifts is a plane ticket to California for later on in the year! You will get to tear into your 3-tiered golden cake with your 7 golden candles and a 7 sparkler, too! At home, we will revisit your birth story and see what else you would like to do for the rest of the day. And a big surprise! You will take a cooking class the very next day with your father with a real chef! You love Master Chef Junior and really wanted to have some basic cooking lessons. You get many lessons and often from your father, me, and your Uncle Simon, but this one will be away from the home and a special time just for you and your daddy. Your father and I are so very proud of you!

Thank you for your laughter, for your hugs, for your curiosity, for your love! I still don’t know how I got to be so lucky to be your mommy, but every single day I am grateful that our God saw me fit to do just that. I love you, Sugarbug, oh so very, very much! Keep flying high my little butterfly! Happy Golden birthday to you!

 

Love,

Mommy.

Thoughts on 2014 Suburbia Music Festival

Hello, hello! What? Another music review? Why yes, yes indeed! Look at me go! First off, I was not awarded a media pass for this one. There were loads and loads of big time media types in full force for this one, so it wasn’t a tremendous loss. Why??? Because I got to fully enjoy it with my daughter without having to make sure I documented each part. This was a treat!

Suburbia Music Festival is a two-day event held in my current home city of Plano, TX. It is in the total ‘burbs hence the name. They actually held it at a Nature Preserve that I frequently do my training runs. It was nice to feel “at home” in my figurative backyard. This year’s line-up:

• David Guetta
• J. Cole
• Third Eye Blind
• Tegan and Sara
• The Dandy Warhols
• Violent Femmes
• Alabama Shakes
• Slightly Stoopid
• Blue October
• Surfer Blood
• YelaWolf
• Needtobreathe
• Hoodie Allen…had to cancel due to illness
• Midlake
• Big Gigantic
• Twenty One Pilots
• Reverend Horton Heat
• Hayes Carll
• American Authors
• The Devil Makes Three
• Smallpools
• NONONO
• Delta Rae
• Alpha Rev
• SoMo
• Echosmith
• GTA
• Shakey Graves
• Run The Jewels
• The O's
• Add
• Meg Myers
• Ume
• Wild Feathers
• The Rocketboys
• The Unlikely Candidates
• Ishi
• Reignwolf
• Basic Vacation
• Sons of Fathers
• Yung Nation
• Larry Gee
• Sol (US)
• Veridia
• Larry G
• Sol Roots

Impressive, huh? I thought so, especially for it being the inaugural year. When presale tickets were announced, I scooped mine up in a hurry not really looking at the calendar. As it was, my hubby wasn’t available, so I had a spare ticket for a friend for each day. It was my goal to take my eldest with me because the music was acceptable/age appropriate for her to hear.

I wore a maxi skirt, flip-flops, a tank top, and packed a hat. She had on her maxi dress, fashion sandals, a daisy halo (I’d made & not pictured), and her “ears.” (See further below for tips on what to bring)

COMPLAINT 1: WATER
In Texas, Summer arrives early. We know this. I was surprised and slightly put off that we could only bring in 1 bottle per person, plus no outside food/drinks were allowed. They did have a station to refill water bottles, but it wasn’t working. I was glad when they handed out free water to people at the Medical tents. They did a great job by announcing that, but I think for some people it might have been too late. That was better than being forced to pay $4 for a bottle of water that I was going to throw away---why no recycling containers?
I get no outside food/drinks allowed, but I really wish there were real snacks. Like fresh fruit, picnic foods, raisins, things like that. Nada. Nothing. At least nothing I’d noticed. If you wanted chocolate, pshhh…yeah, not gonna happen. Who wants chocolate on a hot day anyway? Me. Yeah, that would be me. Moose munch would’ve been outstanding! Yeah, I rely too much on food.

COMPLIMENT 1: FAMILY FRIENDLY…MOSTLY
There were so many kids. When we walked in, there were volunteers handing out these smaller beach balls with the city of Plano logo on them. There was lots of room for the kiddos to run around. There was the occasional curse word  and waft of herbal delights here and there, but overall, really cool. There was a bounce house, but I guess it was too hot to keep it going. The Kona Ice truck & corn dog vendor were big hits with my kiddo. I liked the corn dog stand for their fresh lemonade. YUM!

COMPLAINT/COMPLIMENT 2: PARKING
There was ample parking! At $20 a spot, you were granted a free shuttle on the yellowdog to the walkway to the festival. You still had to walk just under a half mile to get to the entrance from where you were dropped off, but hey…workout! The shuttles for drop off were SUPER easy. The shuttles for pick-up seemed ok, too. It wasn’t good for anyone who was really drunk, though. They didn’t seem to understand the system, I guess.
My complaint had to do with no come/go parking. I’d extended bedtime by an hour for my kiddo so she could stay a tiny bit longer. I had to run home, drop her off, get her down for the night. When I left, they said I’d have to pay $20 to park again. What? Instead, I found parking on the residential area that seemed to have been flagged off. Other cars were parked there, so it was all good. I didn’t get my free shuttle, so the 1.5 mile trek (and 1.5 mile back) was another workout for the day. Lucky I still had my water from earlier. Also, there wasn’t always a sidewalk leading up to the festival gates and it isn’t as well-lit. I was grateful for other walkers and for remembering to pack my flashlight.

At the end of the festival, it seemed there was an issue getting cabs out there. I think if an Uber rep/booth would’ve been made available to schedule pick-ups, they would’ve been great. Kudos to the pedi cab workers. They were polite when they zoomed by the people. While it was a direct shot on that path, they probably would’ve benefitted from using the other side of the lake. Longer, but no pedestrians. Other cyclists could’ve ridden down that path too, only it wasn’t as lit as the main one. Oh and a big compliment for having complimentary bike parking.

COMPLIMENT 3: IN/OUT FOR THE 2-DAY PASS
I did like that the festival allowed you to come in and out if you’d bought the 2-day pass. That was really great! When you walked in, they would search your bag and were quite thorough with the search as well as pulling anything you couldn’t bring in. On the website, it said no umbrellas were allowed, but by the time we’d arrived, they’d changed that. It would’ve been good to know, but if you weren’t glued to their facebook page, you didn’t know. I don’t really know of a solution to this other than just deciding what you will allow and stick with it. It’s Texas, there’s gonna be sunshine, just allow the umbrellas!

Overall, I will say that the music quality sound was great. Some of the performers surprised me in both good and bad ways. It was nice to really hear and see clearly (with the video screens that flanked the Meadows Stage). Sitting in the back gave you a real summer festival experience and that was quite happy! This was especially true as the sun was setting and even in the evening sky. The most perfect crescent moon, the stars in the Texas sky, the cool wind, it was great!

Everyone was friendly! The limited vendors available were really great. I appreciated the general store that supplied sunscreen, lip balm, fans, bandanas, pop rocks!! (my daughter’s first-ever foray into pop rocks) and so many other assorted sundries. There were many porta potties, and the stations to wash your hands after were great. I would suggest having an attached anti-bacteria bottle hanging at the same station, too. I would also suggest that a hair academy make an appearance and do hair braiding.

Helpful Items:

• Water bottle…maybe even a reusable one at that for drinking water
• Sunscreen…this is just a given
• Hat…protect your skin!
• Camping Chair…the grass is nice, but it is even nicer to have the chair
• Blanket…for when you want to kick off your shoes and don’t want to prop your feet on grass
• Book…in between sets, if you are a reader, have your book
• Cell phone charger…there was a charging station, but it is always good to have your own
• Lip balm…you need to protect your lips from the sun, too
• Wet wipes…you may not be able to get to where you can wash your hands, these are great to have
• Bandana…dip it in some cool water and put it on your neck
• Bug spray…just in case
• Sunglasses…again, a given
• Earplugs…if you want to get closer, go for it, but don’t risk your hearing
• Cash…all of the vendors took cards, but it is always good to have a bit of cash on hand, especially if you take a pedi cab and need to tip him
• Umbrella…if umbrellas are allowed, bring one to shade yourself
• Fan…those tiny motorized ones are great, even better if it has an attached squirt bottle
• Scarf/Hoodie…at night, if you are just relaxing in your chair while listening to the music, you might get cold

If you have kiddos:

• crayons/coloring books
• frisbee/hackey sack
• notebook/pen
• ear protection
• water guns…I saw that kids had this and I could see where they were helpful
• change of clothes…if they

Be prepared to walk. Be prepared to be thirsty. Be ready for the long haul. Be ready for a good time. If you have the 2-day ticket, they slip on a fabric wristband that could be slipped off for comfort if you don’t accidentally tighten it, like I did. This is how you can get in and out. If you can’t make the 2nd day and can’t slip off the wristband, you are out of luck.  Sorry to the some of neighborhood neighbors who thought the music was too loud. But that was a testament to the music, I suppose. I don’t live out there and it is typically VERY quiet. Natural acoustics are quite magical and boy howdy were they working!

In the words of Third Eye Blind frontman Stephan Jenkins, “All we have is this moment…” It was a great set of moments to be a part of. Looking forward to next year!

Easter Tradition: Make Homemade Cascarones (confetti eggs)

Easter is probably my favorite holiday with Thanksgiving being a close second. Imagine that, two holidays that really stand out with food and sweets! Growing up, I was very lucky that my mother held tightly onto traditions. She built these traditions into our family and I’ve now passed on those traditions to my girls. Easter dresses, chocolates, grilling, and cascarones (confetti eggs)!

The Goods

--Egg shells

--confetti

--food coloring/dye + white vinegar…to color eggs

--1/4 c flour + water…natural glue

--tissue/crepe paper (squares large enough to cover the egg)

The Process

To make your own you will need egg shells. This requires some planning—saving of shells or some epic baking. I decided to start saving our shells for the past month. This means you save the shell and the egg carton. You rinse off the inside of the shell, and let them dry until you are ready for use. My family eats a lot of eggs. Plus, I made some homemade goodies, so we had 11 dozen shells to decorate and fill.

Step One – Prepare Work Area

Have a decent sized work space and be sure to cover with newspaper, plastic wrap, etc. Also, have on hand, spoons, paper towels, refreshments (because this is gonna take some time), and some music. Also, wear some work clothes!

Step Two – Color Eggs

Lay out your eggs, boil your water, and measure out vinegar/food coloring for dyeing eggs. Need help with that? Check out these gals.

Note: Brown eggs DO NOT color as great as white eggs.

Step 3 – Fill Eggs with Confetti

When your eggs have dried, place them back in the carton and fill the shells with confetti! If you are NOT like me, you already have your confetti and have had it for a while. If you are like me, then you have to take your trusty Marta Stewart Fringe scissors and make some confetti! (see, now you know the REAL reason why it takes so long!) You give up making confetti and you dive into your decorative stash of flakey glitter and fill your eggs because your smallest one has gotten into the glue and decided to paint herself and the dog. Much excitement, for sure!

Step 4 – Cover Eggs

So you can use regular glue, but I like to get messy! Here is where I take my flour, add a bit of water until it is just the right amount of creamy. You don’t want it runny, but a thick creamy like regular glue. Dip your finger into the glue and line the top of your egg shell. Then cover with the paper and run a layer around the top edge again to secure. Gently put aside to dry. Go to the next egg. It took my eldest about half an hour to get through a dozen. In that same time, my smallest one successfully completed one egg. And managed to get glue on herself, the dog, and all over the workplace. It was fun times watching them and just giggling. Be prepared for much laughter and complaining.

Step 5 – Let Dry

Once you have covered all of the eggs, let them dry at least over night. They are so pretty! You did a great job, you deserve a glass of wine. But you can’t have one because you have to chisel off the homemade glue from yourself, your little ones, and your dog. By the time you are done, you will just want a long bath and a nap.

Step 6 – Crack on Heads

Now the hard part is over. Go out and have some fun. Chase each other cracking the eggs on top of the heads for good luck. When it is all over, witness the aftermath on the floor. A nice storm will help wash it all away. You can also sweep it up.

Hope y’all had a wonderful Easter!

Open Letter to My Sugarbean on Your 6th Birthday

Dearest Marisabelle,

I write this on the eve of when you turn 6.  A while ago, you’d asked for snow as the number one thing to have for your birthday. You know what? You got it a day early. Because of the snow, we were also able to celebrate your birthday together as a family since Daddy’s class was canceled. Your second birthday wish was granted when we went to Richardson Bike Mart and Daddy bought you your very first bicycle. It is a Trek Mystic, white and purple, with a white faux wicker basket, flowers, a pink bell that says “I heart my bike,” and training wheels---that I’m sure will be off in a matter of months. Just like the night before you were born, we went to have dinner at Luby’s. You wanted macaroni and cheese. Because we were feeling nostalgic, we headed out there and had a quiet family meal laughing and smiling. All day long, unaware to you, you were getting virtual well wishes for your special day. You even had a few phone calls early from your Bisabuela, Nina Dani, and Nino Nono to wish you well!

When we were home, we rushed to get you ready for bed since tomorrow would be a long day. Right now you have a cough. This seems to be the case for you when the weather shifts to really cold temperatures. The cough stays until it gets much warmer and more humid. We give you honey and rub Vick’s on your feet and chest to help you sleep at night. This seems to work better than any prescribed medications. After lathering you up and giving you a spoonful of honey, Tesla walked in giving you your birthday dress. You see, we started this tradition long ago. Before Tesla was here, your big brother Guapo would give you a new dress to wear. This year’s number is a navy blue dress with hot pink/fuchsia lining and a fuchsia belt. You loved it! You can’t wait to wear it.

Tomorrow morning, I’m setting my alarm early to get up and capture your face to your room full of balloons and streamers! After we dress, hopefully we are early enough for me to take you for your birthday donut with a candle. Then, I’ll take you to school. For lunch, I will bring you your requested Chick-fil-a grilled nuggets, apple slices, and apple juice. I’ll hand over your darling cupcake/cake for your class’s afternoon snack. It is also the 100th day of school. You will be taking 100 gummy bears, as well. God bless your teacher with all of the sugar you kiddos will be devouring. That evening, we will have a girls night in, watching movies, and snuggling. I’m sure I will have fits of proud tears all day long, as I’m doing right now as I type this.

You are such a strong-willed child with quite the vocabulary. You have a very unique fashion sense and quite a personality, too! I’m humbled most days by you. “Though she be but little, she be fierce!”---Shakespeare That quote fits you. Your spirit isn’t crushed. No matter how much society’s hand tries to conform you to their standards, you shrug it off and keep going. Like when you get marked for not following directions. You look at me, smile and say, “But Mom, I had too much energy and I couldnt’ stop wiggling. It’s just what I do. I can’t help it.” or if you aren’t listening, you will tell me, “But Mom, my brain was going really, really, really fast and I was thinking and daydreaming, I couldn’t focus to listen because I was listening to my brain. It was talking to my heart. You told me to listen to my heart! It takes a lot of energy and that’s why my brain goes so fast. I tried to explain that to them.” You know what, I admire the fact that you don’t let it affect you. Even those moments when you openly defy me and question me, inside, I couldn’t be prouder. I hope you never lose that wonder. I hope you never lose that fight. I know one day you will continue to do astonishing things, surpassing any dream I may have had for you. I know all of this will not be without struggle, but it will be worth every single bit of it.

My darling daughter, I’m so very proud of you. I’m so very honored by the person you are becoming. I love the way your mind works. The stories you tell me, the imagination you have, the empathy you have for people, and the love you have for the whole wide world. Keep trying hard, every single day. Mommy loves you so very much!

signing to you,

-Mommy

2013…

What a year. I’m grateful for the life I’ve been given, the incredible people in my life (especially the guy by my side), and the opportunities & adversities I have face this year. I prepared myself for 2013, choosing the word COURAGE as my one little word. I had no idea the ways it would present itself to me.


I took a bit of a hiatus from writing my thoughts in this medium, popping in and out only in moments (really 47 posts for the ENTIRE year??). I had to take a few months to process some very personal things. Rather than spewing my most personal thoughts on the interwebs (like really, who wants to read all of that? who needs to read all of that? I’m not that important.), I took some time to write them the old fashioned way, pen and paper, and loads of self-conversations while running. I probably could have published some of it on here, but it boiled down to a simple concept. I have been blessed with a gift. Rather than use words as weapons to destroy (no matter how vindicated or justified I’d feel in spewing so much snark), I’d rather use words to motivate or uplift (because who wants to hold onto that negativity? I have certainly felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders when I finally released some of my demons. Too much baggage, gah!). Instead of sharing what I saw as my own truth, I opted to contain it so as to not hurt others and myself. It took a great deal of courage for me to come to that decision, especially when I felt like I was being attacked. Then again, when you are in the thick of things, it is easy to latch onto the smallest of things and run with it until you are positively insane. We’ve all been there, consumed by madness! In any case, I wanted to say thank you to all of my friends and family who lifted me up. Many of you reading this had no idea that the tiniest bits of things you’ve posted online, texted me, emailed, written, tiny gestures…meant so very much to me when I was feeling quite low. If you feel compelled to share exciting news or come across a phrase that motivates/inspires you, then share it. You have no idea the ripples you create in doing just that!

I had the courage to embrace my imperfections. I began to appreciate that I was a broken pot, used to water the plants along the side of the road. I hadn’t really understood my own rippling effect, until I was forced to push pause on my life an reflect. I’m gonna own that as a major win. I’m also going to celebrate that I kept on keeping on.

These were the goals I’d set forth and nearly accomplished them all. (We didn’t go camping and I flew on aerial silks instead of a trapeze):

These are my major accomplishments for the year:

1. I jumped out of a plane and lived.
2. I ran a half marathon and amazed myself with my finish time. (I even amazed myself with my 5K improvements.)
3. I saw my eldest off to her first day of school.
4. I also witnessed her happily read her first several books to me.
5. I also cried a great many tears of joy after she completed her first 5K with an average pace of 12 minute miles (she’s 5!!!).
6. I witnessed our youngest master potty training and running her first mile in a race with a 13 minute mile pace (outstanding! She’s 2!).
7. I also saw her vocabulary expand exponentially. She also knows how to flip off of the ottoman, jump on one foot, dance whenever music is playing, and sings along to the radio.
8. I went to a great number of concerts, even scoring a media pass to document the experience.
9. I had a year’s worth of dates with my Beloved (at least one a month). Several of them were overnight dates, too!
10. I visited California 3 times, dug my toes in the sand, climbed a mountain (twice), and sat under the redwoods breathing it all in.
11. I got a new car!
12. I hosted my very own 5K for my birthday (and will be doing it again in 2014).
13. I survived the health scare of my fractured vertebrae and venous cavernous malformation.
14. I let go of personal aches, made peace with my past, and found myself better for it.
15. I began a type of art therapy for myself by incorporating devotions/scripture in a journal.
16. I drank a lot of coffee. ha ha!
17. I worked out a lot with my Beloved.
18. I started to incorporate skills from my professional life and began a new project that will hopefully launch next year.
19. I had SO MUCH TIME with my bests!!! It wasn’t weeks on end, but hours, certainly, and such good quality hours, too!
20. I ate a lot of really good food!
21. I tried to grow a garden, which basically amounted to basil.
22. I held two new babies birthed by my friends (even helping one of them through pre-labor).
23. I stood next to my nephew/godson as he was Confirmed this year.
24. I had my first ever facial…which is big because I don’t like anyone touching my face.
25. Embraced gluten-free cooking/baking and have had much success!

Whew.

Cheers to 2014! Looking forward to it!

Recipe Monday: Homemade Paneer

I’m gonna try something new here. I’ve had some friends recently ask me for some recipes. I spouted off some nonsense, but in reality, very seldom do I actually use a bonafide recipe. When I meal plan, I have an idea of what to make by looking through my Everyday Food, but then I don’t revisit the recipe. I just use it as a base for ingredients. In any case, there are things that I make repeatedly because they are good and I figured, eh, I’ll share here. First one, homemade paneer.

Hello Bianca, I don’t really know what paneer is. Can you help?

Sure! Paneer is a South Asian type of cheese rich in milk protein. I find the texture amazing. There isn’t much flavor, per se, but it totally soaks up flavor in whatever dish you prepare, which makes it all the more delicious! You can buy it at the store, BUT if you don’t live near any Asian/Indian/Indo-Pak/Pakistani markets, then you wouldn’t find this stuff. Here’s how you can make your own paneer:

 

Homemade Paneer

1/2 gallon whole milk (remember Moo Mondays at Central Market, half off milk!)

1 to 3 tablespoons of white vinegar (you can use any type of acid like lemon juice)

cheesecloth over a strainer

container (like a pyrex dish) to mold your paneer

1. Bring the milk temperature to just below boiling and turn off your heat. This is when those tiny bubbles start to form. It’s a short time from when that happens and when it is rolling to a boil. I usually add a pinch of salt. You can stir it as it cooks. You can also enlist the help of your 5 year old to stir and pretend you are witches over a boiling cauldron. This is great until your almost 2 year old wants to help and stir too, and then they will both start to fight over who gets to stir more, which will eventually lead them to bickering. In which case, you try to settle with an alternative food snack since you are in the kitchen, after all, and all is well until you maybe burn your milk a little bit. 

   

2. Add your vinegar to the milk one tablespoon at a time, stirring after each time.  (This is where it gets all fun and science-y!) The curds will separate from the whey. (Those bits of brown in my pot are b/c I was multi-tasking and burnt my milk, but hey, bonus flavor! Remember from earlier??)

   Wait a bit to pour over because you could get quite a bit of steam and I don’t want you to burn yourself! In my case, my smallest one had to potty and big sister took her, so I raced off to make sure all was well with them. Once we had all of that done, enough time had passed for me to be able to strain it.

    

   

3. Now pour the mixture into the cheesecloth covered strainer. (I don’t have a photo b/c I forgot to snap one during this step because the house was eerily quiet and I was rushing to strain my curds from whey because things are too quiet!! All was well. The 5 year old covered the nearly 2 year old with some lotion on her hair because “she needed a style, mommy” ‘eh, extra conditioning and a nice smelling head never hurt anyone.)

   Note: When you do this, have it over a bowl so you can save all of that whey*.

4. Try to strain out as much of the whey from the curds as possible. Transfer the curds into your pyrex dish and spread to your mold. Set in the refrigerator overnight or up to a week from when you will use the curds. Again, the brown spots in mine were from where I burnt the milk. It’s ok, it won’t compromise the flavor, just the look. Mine isn’t in the cheesecloth just for the sake of the photo. I typically leave it wrapped and press it flatter with a pickle jar just to really get it into that rectangular shape.

You can eat the curds immediately. Collectively, it looks almost like ricotta. When it is warm, I’ve given it to my girls and they think it is a warm cheese treat. Also, they know when I pour the whey into mason jars we will be having pancakes and soup soon! whey pancake recipe coming soon!

*Whey is still highly nutritious and can be used in a variety of ways. Don’t waste your whey! My friend Dadthebaker taught me that!

Now go on out and make some paneer. You’ll feel like a scientist in the kitchen!

Happy 5th Birthday Sugarbean

My Darling, Beautiful Daughter,

You came into our lives like a force to be reckoned with 5 years ago. It was one of the most remarkable days of my life. That first year went by in a hurry! The second year is also quite a blur! The third year, I wanted to make special. It was your last year as a single human child, but you’ve not known it to be any differently. And year 4 was filled with so much love and at the end of the night quite a scare!

All day yesterday, you were running around telling everyone, “Today is my last day of being 4!” Your infectious grin permeated to the hearts of everyone, and the excitement all around you was building.

As with every year, you get a new outfit from your sibling. This was the first year it was only from your sister. You loved it anyway. When I remarked that you should pair your coral cardigan with it, you went in search of it. Your daddy walked in, noticing the tunic was sleeveless, said, “You will need a jacket.” Cardigan in hand, not meaning to come across as sassy, you held it up and said, “No Daddy, I’m to wear a cardigan, not a jacket. It is a dressier piece and needs this instead.” Clearly I’ve had influence. I was so proud.

In the morning, I awoke early to decorate your room. I let Daddy catch a few more minutes of needed sleep because your baby sister decided to get up 2 hours before the alarm and was inconsolable. She wanted nothing to do with me, only wanted to be near daddy. She actually slept through you waking up, which was ok, because it let us spend time with just you. I did let her see your room as we walked out the door and she said, “Woooow!” I nudged her saying that I would happily decorate her room too for her birthday if she decided to be a big girl and move back into her bed. I don’t think it worked.

And you…you caught me in the middle of taping streamers from your fan to your bed. That smile that erupted from your face, and the tiny giggles heard from under your blankets…melted my heart. You were so, so, so happy. You happily exclaimed, “Mommy, this is going to be the best birthday, EVER!!!!” I nodded and said, “I hope so!” To which you replied, “Oh, but it already is, Mommy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Sweet, sweet child. 

You were completely over the moon about the balloons and streamers. You had a pink heart-shaped donut with sprinkles for breakfast, but with several bites left said it was too much and your belly hurt.  Despite that, you said you still liked it. You also liked that I'd braided your hair special for the day!

I’ve requested from our friends near and far to perform an act of kindness to a stranger in your honor. I can’t tell you how overwhelmingly a good feeling I have in this moment because I can feel the goodness filling the world. You, my Sugarbean, bring so very, very much light to our lives. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I’m infinitely better because of you!

Happy birthday, MariJul!

Love,
Mama

My Christmas Loot

Hello friends!!! How have you all been? I hope the holidays have treated you well. Based on those of you who I am connected to virtually (and know in real life) they have been quite wonderful. (Except for my one friend who had the flu, along with her family. I hope y’all are recovering nicely!)

I am incredibly blessed to have shared multiple holiday gatherings with many of our friends and family. If you are like me, you are curious about what someone may have received. I always wonder, especially when people make their holiday gift guides public or their wish lists public…how much of that stuff do they actually get? And what are some of the other things they get that might have been a surprise? Well, I will share with you those things here.

Soiree #1 was spent with my side of the family. We were so excited that my grandmother and aunt were able to celebrate with us, along with my siblings, parents, and my new brother-in-law, and nephew and niece. Whoa! Here is our tiny tree decorated with all of the lovely holiday cards from friends all over (and a few of the leftover ornaments we used in our holiday photo shoots for our photography business). It’s a 4.5 foot pre-lit artificial tree (because I’m allergic to the real stuff) bought 2 years ago for like $15 at the after Christmas sale. Look at all of those fun packages!

We read the story of the birth of Jesus out of the Bible and then the kiddos hand out the presents. If you find the pickle in the tree, then you get to open the first gift. Technically, our Sugarbug found the pickle, but it is because she helped me hang it. ha ha ha…so we let my niece go first. Then the rest of us just tore into everything. This was all of my stack before I opened my gifts.

For those of you who don’t frequent Hallmark, that gift box is from there. It’s so fun and a festive way to wrap a gift. My sister gives me one each year and each year, I open it the “wrong” way just so I can use it again later on. On this day, I received:

• The Help dvd
• Socks
• A wall plaque about the different seasons, with emphasis on football (thanks Brother)
• A check towards the purchase of the new television we bought (yaaay…we are no longer living in the last century! After 6 years of research, we finally agreed on one)
• A monogrammed shirt (yeah, I totally love monogrammed things and that’s a now-not-so-secret secret. I really want a pair of eggplant satin pajamas with a white monogram on them. such a dork)
• Nail polish
• A necklace that is also a scarf
• A nifty cloth tape measure that actually looks like a yard stick when rolled out…initially I confused it as a belt
• Gladiator dvd on Blu Ray (I’m totally geeking out over that one)

From friends before this celebration and after, I received:

• lots of hugs and time spent together (most important and the best ever!!)…whoooo, December 21 was epic see pic below
• baked goods
• lip gloss
• assortment of travel Bailey’s (what do you drink Bailey’s with? I’ve only ever had it in a Buttery Nipple or a Car Bomb. Straight up, maybe?)
• money towards a Rent the Runway rental
• gift card to Amazing Jake’s to go with the family (yaaay…an experience for all of us)
• Vino
• nail polish
• votive holders (which have inspired me to really redo our bathroom)

Then, it was time for us to head North to visit my Beloved’s side of the family. His family has many celebrations, and so we geared up for our celebration marathon!

First up, we went out to the farm where he grew up and shared a lovely meal. While there, the girls opened a few gifts, we shared quite a bit of laughs and stories, and Mari had her first ever EME (earth to moon to earth) communication, also known as a moon bounce. It was so awesome. Her grandpa is really into radio communication and all sorts of electronic gadgetry!

Then, the next day we headed out to her Gigi Skip’s home. I didn’t get an image of the tree or gifts there, but I did get a picture of them with their Gigi (great-grandmother…the gg comes from that).

This celebration was my first foray into drawing names. So I’m new to all of this and was completely unaware of how it worked. I did like it, though! It was nice to get a large gift for one person instead of stressing out, worrying about gifts for everyone. Next year, I know about the $5 gift we can give to everyone else, too! I like that idea a whole lot. While here, I received:

• Cash (which will either go towards new shoes or a blow-out)
• a gift card to Athleta (huzzah…hello new running tights!)
• A lovely picture frame
• another frame with a photo of the women from that side of the family (so nice!)
• a mobile for hanging photos (so excited to hang this in my craft space!)
• a Hallmark text band
• a mix for fancy dip

I forgot to mention that we took our annual trip to the mall for the girls to visit Santa. The Sugarbaby was not at all a fan of Santa. The Sugarbean proudly walked up to him, sat on his lap and listed out her requests and those of her sister’s. Then waved for her sister to join so they could snap a pic together. This is the best of what we got.

The next celebration, we went to Don’s recently departed grandmother, the girl’s other Gigi. There, we were able to spend lots more time with even more extended family. There I received the gift of time from family. We also received an amazing meal!! Even though it had been less than a month since we’d last seen everyone and the mood was still a bit somber, it was still very nice to see everyone’s smiling faces and witnessing the great grand children…cousins…playing with one another.  Reminded me of when we were growing up and we got to see our cousins. It made me gleefully excited at the thought of the girls’ Quinceanera celebrations in 10+ years. (Yes, I know I’m already thinking ahead. whatever, I like to plan.)

Finally, it was Christmas morning and we celebrated our last Christmas with my mother-in-law. Here is what our tree looked like (the pink gifts up front are from Santa, along with the baby stroller):

Here is a pic of my opened loot:

Going clockwise from the bottom left:

• Aprons that I have inherited from my recently deceased Grandmother-in-law. The top one actually belonging to her mother. I was MORE THAN honored to have received these as a gift! So humbling, especially after I was told that she didn’t hardly have aprons since she didn’t wear them much and they are now mine. Wow!
• Solmate socks (from my Beloved a surprise gift b/c we weren’t supposed to exchange anything! stinker!)
• Starbucks gift card
• Fleur de Sol coffee from PT coffee roasters and jam
• The Help dvd on Blu-Ray (the trouble with adding it to a global list that you share with everyone, is that you run the risk of getting multiples of the same thing)
• Handmade candles, soaps (enough for 2 years!), and baskets from my sister-in-law (I LOOOVE that soap!)
• A sock loom to make my own socks!
• Cookie stampers
• TTU pasta…I can’t tell you how utterly happy I am about this. My birthday party this next year will be Texas Tech themed and I can’t wait to enjoy these.
• Sticky notes set (yes! I go through one of these a year)
• Rolling stamps
• Hour-long massage for two! (another of the surprise gifts from my Beloved. so excited about our couples massage date)
• Cozy toe socks
• And a baking cookbook to enjoy with my girls

There you have it. We still have our stockings to look through, but we don’t “open” them until Epiphany or 3 Kings Day. Whew, no wonder I’m tired! Goodness gracious, such good times!

Now it is your turn…feel free to brag away and let me know some of the surprises you received. (notice I didn’t at all mention any of the things I bought myself, ha ha ha)

Brown Girls Do Ballet

When I first received notification about the Brown Girls Do Ballet project, I was immediately intrigued and knew I wanted to be involved. You see, I ADORED dance when I was growing up. I was so fortunate to have had the one session devoted to ballet when I was 4. As with most things, both my sister and I were enrolled at the time. Sam wasn't an enthusiast and would rather be out on a field, a gym floor, or whatever, than prancing around in a tutu. So went my career in dance, until I became a cheerleader in middle school. Even then, it wasn't ballet, but rather hip-hop/modern type routines (think Paula Abdul moves, not the professional cheerleaders of today).

Last year, my Sugarbean was old enough to participate in ballet, so I enrolled her. She was in an hour long class that divided its time between ballet and tap. She LOATHED tap. Ballet, on the other hand, really struck something within her. Immediately, I scoured the Internets and pinned many ballet items to a board solely devoted to dancing. Luckily for us, her recital was focused on ballet, rather than tap, so she was able to prance around in her costume and perform for us. I loved it and by the look on her face, so did she. This year, we switched to an all ballet class at a different conservatory. This change led to a different approach to her ballet education in that it appeared more serious and concentrated, but still every bit as much fun. Even more so, considering we didn't have to worry about some of the other obstacles we'd encountered before. My only complaint was that there wasn't as much ethnic diversity in this class as we'd had in the other school. I brushed it aside, until about a month ago she came back to me from class asking specifics about her differences in skin color and hair compared to the other girls.

I considered it quite fortuitous and not hardly a coincidence that this project, Brown Girls Do Ballet, presented itself. The project is:

A photo project by TaKiyah Wallace highlighting under represented populations of girls in the genre of ballet ages 3-18.

While my girls are half Hispanic and half white, I very much embrace their "brownness" and try to teach them all about our culture. They must know where they come from to get to where they are going. This isn't to say we exclude them from other cultures by any means. Our friends are like the UN, a melting pot of varying cultures and ethnicity, with every shade of skin imaginable and every hair type imaginable. We do our best to try to instill in them the value of the person that is found from within and to not only focus on what we see. Celebrating differences is a a great thing!

As I searched online for examples of brown/ethnic dancers, it occurred to me that traditional ballet dancers bodies are long, lithe, and strong. Great strong bodies. All have the hair tightly pulled back. I submitted a headshot of my gal to the photographer hoping she would be considered. I was thrilled when she told me she had been accepted. TaKiyah requested that the girls come to the shoot with their hair down. The rest, she let happen naturally. Since my little gal has been in front of a camera since before she was born, she totally hammed it up for the camera. I'm over the moon by the outtakes she posted on her Instagram (I hope she posts a couple of snaps she caught of the Sugarbaby, too!):

If you are in Texas, I highly encourage you to check it out to see if you can be part of this neat project. Here is the information:

Regardless, I encourage you to follow along this journey. Check out the Facebook page and follow on along on Instagram and Twitter as well! Thank you for the opportunity, TaKiyah and good luck!

Mat Kearney at aLoft Dallas

Remember back when I did a blog review about his album “Young Love” Yeah, I flatter myself into thinking I’ve had longtime readers since day 1. Yes, I know there are a few of you lurkers who may remember this. I’ve since taken numerous road trips and have done a lot of commuting where this album has taken center stage. If you’ve been a passenger in my car during those past several months, you have unavoidably sat through this album repeatedly. Just ask my darling husband.

I was more than disappointed when I missed his Dallas show by a few weeks. It was before I was an avid follower, I suppose. No worries, because I began to stalkfollow him on Twitter. I saw he was going to be opening for Train and well, I couldn’t reconcile it in my head and in the budget. I like Train and all, but I wanted Mat fully. I didn’t want him opening. I just couldn’t justify the cost of the tickets and babysitter. It just wasn’t gonna happen. So I continued to listen to his words, many times belting out the tunes in traffic, happily clapping along, or singing along to “Down,” those words that rock my soul and connect to me as someone who knows struggle. And then magic…

THANK YOU SOCIAL MEDIA!!!

I called my beloved immediately and he sensed the excitement in my voice. After work, I trudged home through 3 major accidents on the main highway. I beat the rest of my family home because they were hanging out at Discount Tire getting a flat fixed. (surprise gift courtesy of the Rangers game we went to the past Friday, but more on that later…hi Sam! Thanks again!!) When I saw him, my heart sank because he looked like he had the kind of day like the one I’d had yesterday afternoon. He was tired, worn out, and just needing some chill time. I decided that I would do the right thing and at the very least stay home, or if I went, I’d take Tesla. But he changed clothes, prepped the diaper bag, and declared it a family date.

As we headed into downtown, I was vibrating with excitement. I couldn’t believe it! I really couldn’t believe it. Was this going to happen? Were we actually going to hear him live? We probably weren’t going to see him, after all, with the Sugarbean and Sugarbaby in tow, it would be unrealistic to be near, if there was even room. I just prayed they weren’t going to have a meltdown of epic proportions. I mean, we didn’t even bring a bottle or food for them. I hope they have food! It’s a hotel, I mean I know they have something.
We scored a parking spot across the street and didn’t have to feed the meter! This was the view from the front of the hotel.


I think that is mighty spectacular. We walked in and I saw a woman with an infant. We settled in nicely about 15 feet from the stage. We were standing behind a group of 20 somethings and they didn’t at all mind that we had taken up shop there. I scurried off to secure food for the girls. Chef Boyardee’s Beefaroni and a turkey club sandwich. Mari took two bites of the beefaroni and proclaimed that she wanted the sandwich. Tesla enjoyed it, somewhat. Don and I toasted our adult beverages, neither of really knowing what to make of the whole experience. We were still shell shocked from our working days.

It was a very intimate set up there in the lobby of the aLoft Downtown Dallas. A small stage with two bar chairs, some speakers, and all of the furniture from their lobby. The bar area packed, but not overly noisy. We were there early enough to have a good spot. Plenty of people gathered and all of the collective body heat made it rather warm, but not uncomfortably so. It felt good to be surrounded by so many fans. I prayed he started as close to 8 as possible. I hoped he’d play at least 3 songs. I cautiously looked over at our girls hoping they weren’t going to kick in to beastmode, as is prone to happen so close to bedtime. I reached for my Beloved’s hand, squeezing it, grateful that he was there alongside me, making this dream a reality.



8:15PM He came out and the crowd erupted. And he sang, and laughed, and sang some more. He introduced Nathan Spicer as the one accompanying him. He was wearing a brown tshirt, jeans, his boots, and fedora. He had his guitar, fingers dancing along the strings. He confessed that he was tasked with only singing 3 or 4 songs. But he took requests from the crowd, each of us yelling out our favorites. When he played, it sounded like the album. The crowd sang along, we clapped, we cheered. Our girls danced and clapped. I sang along and danced. I rocked Tesla to sleep. She would have slept, too, until everyone began to applause and she forced herself awake. I stood still, even, fighting back tears. Grateful that we had this opportunity to have a date, that I was gifted all of the requests that I’d made nearly a year ago: To see him perform, up close, in an intimate venue, to connect to his words in real life, to feel that emotion that can only be conveyed through live music. (Thank you aLoft Dallas and Mat Kearney for making a wish come true. We appreciated it!! These parents right here are so, so grateful!) He played for a solid 30-35 minutes…for free!! Had our girls not already been fighting the sleepies, we would have stuck around for him to sign my CD, yes, it was tucked in my purse. He played almost all of my favorites! Here they are performing “Ships in the Night.” (Go to my Google+ page to see the short video)



And then here’s the kicker…

As we left, Mari asked if we could go back. She tends to make this request when we leave someplace she has enjoyed. I didn’t fully understand to what degree she enjoyed herself. Because well, as I tucked her very sleepy body into bed, she said, “I want to see Mr. Mat Kaaaaarney again. Can we go back to that hotel with the band?” This past summer, we were treated to a live intimate concert by our friend, Ben Varela. At that time, he was up on a makeshift stage, with his acoustic guitar, singing songs (a lullaby for Tesla that he’d written for another small person), his voice echoing off the nearby canyon in that backyard in San Diego…this was her frame of reference. My cousin, when he stays for a visit, will bust out our acoustic guitar and start playing along. So you can see where a 4.5 year old thinks that an intimate live concert where the performer looks out at you and talks to you, well, she believes that we know the person, that we are friends. That’s how Mat connects with you. He’s totally people.

If you don’t have kids and you have extra money and you have some time and he’s playing nearby, you will not be at all disappointed. He’s amazing!

Power of Technology

I love technology. I love having magic boxes that connect us to far off places. Here is where I give mad love to companies like Logitech, Samsung, HTC, Gateway, Apple, and Skype.

Several years ago, in the early days of Skype, we tried video chatting with my folks who were on DSL, not completely broadband. There was break-ups and stop-motion video. I knew someday the technology would catch-up, so I didn’t give up hope. We tried using a few mobile device apps during the past year to stay in touch, but again, sometimes the connection was great other times, the camera wasn’t up to par.

And then this year, things changed. We were able to get a clearer feed. I was able to chat with one of my friends who was a new mother. She hadn’t been able to leave the house much, but we were still able to talk and catch up as if she was in the room with me. Before we took our big trips, we made sure that we would have some connection, some way. When we were in Costa Rica, I was able to fire up my computer, connect to wi-fi, load up Skype and stay connected to dear ones back home. What a thrill it was to talk to our little ones from so far away and see that they were having a blast! I saw many of our Costa Rica schoolmates talking with their friends on Facetime or on Skype, too. I really enjoyed the time I had to write at breakfast at the little shop in Costa Rica. I also enjoyed talking to some of my most special people in that same shop! When Don and I traveled to Northern California with friends and our girls stayed back in SoCal with their grandparents (Hi Carol! Hi Mom! Hi Dad!), each night, they fired up Skype on their iPad and we connected to wi-fi to talk to them. So very far away, yet so close.

My girls have been sick this week. This is also the first full week of “normal” as we know it. Normal is where we all get up by 6:30AM. We all rush off to our schools/work, then we come home, eat dinner as a family, and then my husband goes to his part-time job (What, he has a second job? Yes, he does. You didn’t think that the sabbatical trips were free, did you? *grin*) while the girls and I clean up dinner (he and the girls prepare it) and do our night routine. He does have a few evenings off where we can enjoy it as a family, but this weekend, he and I are having a weekend date (thanks Mom & Z!!!), so he is working different days to maintain his hours. Needless to say, I was on the brink of a serious pity party in the evenings (hello, extrovert doesn’t do well alone). Since the girls had the nasty coughs, there were a couple of times where I had to sit quietly and do my best to revisit the magical memories made in the past few months. I held my little blessings tightly and just as they slumbered, the blue notification light on my phone lit up, notifying me of a message. During this time, I keep my phone on silent to not disturb them.

“Get online and let’s chat in a bit!”

My fabulously talented cousin who is an esthetician and a professional make-up artist…on real-life Hollywood stars…like at awards shows like the Oscars…for money…was wanting to have a video chat with me to give me the requested tutorial on the list of products he’d recommended to me! (I’ve committed to taking better care of my skin and wearing more products, but more on that another time.) That night, I was having some brain issues (light-headed/dizzyness/spots), but when we connected on that phone and were dressing up my face, I felt brighter and happier! Heck, after the conversation, I felt beautiful even, because my face was wonderfully painted! Tesla had awoken during that call and was happily busying herself with my meager bits of makeup. I got to see his new addition to the family, the beautiful and furry Thor and hollered hello to his partner.

Another time, I saw this on my Instagram feed…


I’ve been hanging with these boys for years. They come up for a visit a couple of times a year and we get to hang out when we go to Lubbock for visits. It was night time, I’d put the girls down and they were sleeping, so I responded with this…


Satellite Party! (Malibu for me…American Honey in honor of my cousin on the left in the above picture…Crown Royal Black for my Brother, in his shot glass that I bought him in Costa Rica that lives at our home—I didn’t actually take their shots. I’m saving them for when they come visit.)

“Where are you online? Get your webcam ready and let’s do this!”


Cheers! Oh but wait, another buddy showed up on their end…


And then our favorite San Diego gal had seen the images and texted me this…


In those ten minutes, we were all giggling, laughing, telling jokes, taking shots, toasting and you know…being social.


I couldn’t wait for Don to get home so I could tell him all about it. He said it best, “This is what social media is really about.” You know what, it is! There are wonderful causes to support, that can unite and divide equally. But this…video chatting with some loved ones in other time zones, in other parts of the world, it’s what connects us. All of the crappy snark, political comments, self-loathing, you know, the stuff that mucks up my social media feeds (thank God for the hide features on those things so I can respectfully remove myself from the negative without completely deleting) is not what it is about. If I want depressing, then I just go to the news site.

Having a quick date from far away just to see live-motion, hearing the words, simultaneously seeing the facial expressions…you know all that non-verbal communication…is awesome! Adding video chats with my faraway (and not-so-faraway) loves to my list of weekly to-do’s.

How do you all stay in touch?

Flying with Kiddos

Our girls are 4 and 16 months (1 year and 4 months for those of you who don’t have kids and haven’t learned to convert the months properly.) The Sugarbean took her first plane ride at 6 weeks. Every year since then, she’s been on at least two flights. Tesla, on the other hand, boarded her first plane when she was 8 months old. She flew like a champ without issue. Over the years we’ve tried to perfect our own version of flying with kids. In the past couple of months, they have taken 6 plane rides. This is an account of what has worked for us.

The items you will find us carrying as we walk up to the airport:

• 1 checked back for the both of them (their clothes actually fit in a carry-on sized bag, but we check it because we are usually carrying other things.)
• 1 checked bag for the both of the adults
• Mari has her carry-on bag (rolling little kid-size bag is genius) and the diaper bag is her other carry-on
• I have my carry-on bag and purse
• Don has the camera backpack and is carry-on
• 1 umbrella stroller (gate checked)
• 2 car seats (one booster, one convertible) – checked for free

The two checked bags can be expensive in this day and age. For most normal airlines, each checked bag is $25, which makes it $100 extra dollars for a roundtrip. We are AA Advantage card holders, so we get 2 free checked bags when flying American. Hooray! Two checked bags will work for our family of 4 for any trip up to a week…maybe two weeks if we can do laundry. On this trip, we flew Delta and our summer trip we flew Virgin, so we still had to pay, but no big deal.

In MariJul’s bag, she keeps her small comfort toy, iTouch, headphones, crayons, coloring book, drawing book, and 2 books. Some planes have a built in TV in the headrests. In the case of our California trip, Virgin has quite an interactive headrest. She was disappointed on the the Michigan flights. “Where’s my TV?” In the case of our Michigan trip, we couldn’t find the iTouch, so we had to rely on books and the sketchbook. Talk about taking it old school! This sketchbook was mighty handy! We received it as a Christmas gift and she loves it! That is a picture she drew of Tesla with a bow in her hair.



In the diaper bag, there is a change of clothes for Tesla, diapers, wipes, snack foods, milk sippy cups, a juice box, one of her muslin blankets, extra pacifiers, and Yummy Earth lollipops. In the case they want them, we have noise canceling headphones.

In my carry-on I have my laptop, up to two magazines or a book (ha, like I get to read books), the travel folder (which has all of our itineraries printed out, a list of addresses to mail postcards, confirmation print offs to hotels/rental cars/restaurants, etc..), a couple of pens, emergency gum, a pipe cleaner*, and in the case of the Michigan trip, the portable DVD player with movies.

*pipe cleaner?? – it is a great stress reliever and will occupy a kiddo for longer than you might think.

My purse always has purse items, which includes my phone charger. The camera bag is self-explanatory. And Don packs magazines, gum, extra chargers, and other survival items that would come in handy in the event of an emergency. (Thanks for being prepared, babe!)

The Flight

We definitely take full advantage of the pre-boarding. We need the extra time to get situated. When we walk down the gangway, Mari does get a little timid when she crosses into the plane. She sees the tiny crack between the two and gets a little anxious. Since she is 4, she has her own seat. We always seat her next to the window. For a few more months, Tesla is still a lap child until her 2nd birthday. We usually start with her on my lap. She wears a C.A.R.E.S. vest that easily attaches to my seatbelt. When I need a break (or she just wants to be with Daddy), she will sit with him, but we only switch off when the seatbelt light has gone off. We don’t want to risk injury during turbulence.



Sometimes, we may have an empty seat next to us. In the case of the California flight, Tesla was quite tired during the early morning flight, so we buckled her up and let her sleep.



Upon take off, I insist Tesla suck on the paci for her ears. I will also give Mari some gum to chew. She said she has anxiety upon take off (yes, she knows that word) and I will hold her hand and rub her belly. She also says that take-off “drives her belly nuts” (thanks Carol for teaching her that phrase. LOL). She knows that if she is brave, she will be treated to a ginger ale/OJ cocktail to help settle her tummy.



She also knows to listen closely for when she can use her portable electronic devices.



Potty breaks are inevitable. Most airplanes have a changing station in the bathrooms, so this is great. We try to keep a couple of diapers/wipes/changing pad nearby to help speed up the process. After all, the aisles are quite cramped.

I really appreciate that we get about a 20 minute warning before landing. This gives us ample time to pack everything up before the flight attendants go through their landing procedures. It also allows us to prepare to de-board the plane.

While the plane is taxi-ing to the gate, we come up with a plan of who is carrying what. I usually strap a baby to myself with the Boba (did this with Mari until she was 3 and will continue with Tesla), carry my purse, my carry on and the diaper bag. Mari carries her bag. Don will carry the camera, his bag, and the booster seat (if we didn’t check it) and he waits for the stroller. We use the stroller to carry items since Mari likes to walk.

Layovers

If you happen to have a layover, try to make the most of it. Mari is a huge fan of the moving walkways. She thinks they are magic. In the Detroit airport, there is a hall with awesome lighting with the moving walkways. I really enjoyed it. Tesla was passed out as I carried her in my Boba. The Sugarbean was in awe.



There is also a water piece that both girls really enjoyed touching. We gave them each a coin to toss in an make a wish. Mari said she’d have Tesla’s wish since she couldn’t talk yet. But then actually made a wish for Tesla in the voice she uses when she “tells” us what the Sugarbaby is saying. It was great!



Snacks are great, but aren't a meal substitute. Layovers usually happen around eating times, well for us. (we definitely try to find direct flights) It is a great time for a warm meal, just be prepared to spend quite a bit more than you might want to. That is the only drawback. My beloved will usually take one of the girls to get the food while I linger back with the other charging our devices and watching our stuff.

Help

This is all great and dandy when we are flying like a family, but what if one of us is solo. One of the things we’ve noticed is how doting people have been with Don when he travels with the girls, but the same attention isn’t paid to women. If you see a parent flying with kiddos and one is having a fit or they are struggling to take something out of the bin above the seat while juggling a squirmy child, please help!! Offer a kind word, don’t give the disdainful look. Even if the kid is screaming, I guarantee you, s/he isn’t having a great time of it. Thank you to the strangers who have helped me over the past 4 years. Especially the older gentleman on my flight to El Paso when I was on my way to my grandfather’s funeral and the Sugarbaby had spilled a bit of milk onto my dress, while she was simultaneously trying to jump out of my arms. Your help (and patience) was INFINITELY appreciated on an already difficult day. Thank you!!

That’s it! Anything you all do differently? Any flying tips?