“Why are you so tired? You just haven’t seemed like much of yourself.”

Her words pierced my heart because this not-so-secret SECRET I’d been holding onto had finally started to present itself to the world. I remember having endless amounts of energy. I also remember when I was in high school, I went through weeks of less energy than normal, but I always equated it with hormonal shifts. During my early 20s, though, I started to notice extreme fatigue. I figured it was because of all of the added stress I put myself under and the lack of sleep I was getting. Once I graduated, though, I felt much better. I was tired, but not like before. After the birth of my second daughter, though, I noticed I struggled to find energy. Again, I chalked it up to being a mother to two adorable, precarious, and energetic small ones. However, something that seemed to become more and more common was the regularity in which I was contracting strep. I went from getting it once a year, to 3-4 times a year for the past few years.

Then my health continued to shift downward. I had vertigo. I discovered I had a Venus Cavernous Malformation. I have degenerative disk disease, likely cause by a fracture in my lower spine that I sustained when I was 4. I have asthma. And….I’m exhausted. Like I was hit by a truck exhausted. At the end of this summer, I went in to my doctor, with certainty that I had strep, yet again, but detailed everything else I had on my mind. She ran lots of blood work for me, ordered an MRI, and I waited for the results.

“Bianca, it appears that you have arthritis in your neck. I’m going to recommend pain management therapy, even though I’m sure you will decline.” She referred me to a pain management specialist, but I declined--for now. Just as I declined for my chronic back pain. I am able to live with the pain, so I don’t want to undergo injections until I really need it. But for now, I am able to manage just fine as long as I keep stretching. My doctor was ok with my decision for now and she was supportive of me. “Just keep moving, Bianca. That’s the best thing that you can do. Move within reason, though. Don’t go crazy!” she told me.

“Bianca, you don’t have anemia, but you do have low Ferritin.” Ferritin is the protein that iron binds to, so if is low, then you have lower iron. I show many traits of anemia, but I am not anemic. She encouraged me to shift my pescatarian diet to one that included red meat a couple of times a week. I tried it and I did feel more energy, but I also felt heavier and slower.

“Bianca, you have Epstein-Barr Virus. Actually, you have so many antibodies of it, that we can’t even measure it. Based on what I can tell, you have had EBV since  you were a teenager. Have you ever felt so tired you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck? Have you had a coffee for energy, but it doesn’t seem to work?” I nodded my head. “Well,” she said as she put her hand on me, “you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And right now, you are experiencing a really bad episode.”

I was shocked, but calmly asked what I could do, while letting out tiny sobs. She encouraged me to rest, while also smiling knowing that it would be very difficult for me to do that. She said, “Bianca, I’m going to need you to take a diet from life. Just pull back a bit and allow your body to heal, because you don’t know the long term damage that you could be causing by not resting when you need to. Please take a couple of days off from everything as you need to. Yes, I still want you to keep moving, but go at a different pace.” She said diet because no one likes to go on a diet. Change your diet, but not forcibly go on one, right? I like that my doctor knows me well enough to know the kind of person that I am—one that doesn’t want to rely on pills and medication and a person that is always on the go. Because I love to read medical journals and whitepapers for fun, I dove deep into the throes of learning all about EBV and CFS. I know what my indicators and triggers are. I know how to adjust and adapt. I do NOT yet know how to deal with slowing down. While I try to make myself be ok with it, when it is noticeable by others, inside, I’m upset and angry. I’ve run marathons. I’ve run half marathons. I’m a college athlete. I’m a mother. I’m a wife. I work in Corporate America. I’m also a photographer. I’m an event planner. I’m a writer. I’m an adventurer! I don’t have the time to have a diet for life. I don’t want a diet from life!

Here is where I issue a blanket apology to some: I’m sorry for the inner shade I threw at you when you caught me staring at you. Those of you who are absolutely healthy otherwise, but take it for granted and choose not to appreciate your unbroken body, yeah…those people, I was jealous of them. I was envious of their lack of guilt for not exercising, of all of the sleep they were having, of their poor dietary choices---and their lack of enjoyment for eating all of those things they let themselves eat, because dangit, I want to eat 3 honeybuns, too, but I can’t because I will totally feel it later. I’m sorry. I’m not a nice person when I’m hangry. I’m not a nice person when I’m hurting. Really, I just needed a hug. Then I would eat some chocolate and lay down.

Sometimes you meet people at the right moment when you are supposed to meet them.

Last month, I found myself in NYC eating brunch next to a friend of a friend. She and I were talking about various things and I noticed that she didn’t eat sugar, or grains, or even drank alcohol. She monitored her diet very carefully. So I asked her if she was gluten-intolerant or Celiac. She said no, that she suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She told me how it consumed her body and as typical of CFS, it attacked the parts of her body that she used most—her brain and communication skills. You see, she is a writer and she recounted to me how difficult it was for her to focus to formulate a sentence, to have a clear brain to use her language skills. She knew of the words, but she was unable to articulate and recall her vocabulary. Also, she said she had little to no energy to even get out of bed. She also told me of her friend who was a dancer, who lost the ability to to use her legs. She wasn’t paralyzed, but her legs were too heavy, too stiff, too painful to move. So she went into further detail of her dietary changes, which was a supplement to a treatment she’d received back in her native country (not at all approved for by the FDA). We had to depart, but her words stuck with me.

Then, less than a week after that, I had a discussion with a friend of mine who went through a dietary detox to reset her health. She actually went through a specific program, but as we talked more and more about the details, I was going to simplify it and determined to give it a try. It gave her great results for her health goals (not weight loss), so I told myself that November 1 would be the day I would start. It would also give me the opportunity to mindfully eat and to consider those who do not have food immediately at their disposal. Leading up to the first, though, was a vacation in Sonoma with friends and family. I ate and drank without restriction and with passion. However, I also suffered as a result from it. I felt so incredibly bloated, slow, and fat. I was exhausted, I had headaches, and body aches. I look at images from that trip and while I am truly happy, I am not at all happy with my shape. On Halloween, I stepped on a scale and was horrified by the number that was looking back at me. But this isn’t about fitness or weight, so I won’t fixate on that. I will, however, say that CFS took a big toll on me in recent months, both physically and mentally.
What was my diet?

• Vegan
• No dairy---no cheese, no milk, no butter (aaaack)
• No animals of any kind. No animal broth. No fish.
• No rice
• No caffeine…including coffee
• No sugar—raisins were ok, but no honey, nothing with added sugar in it.
• No grains
• No alcohol
• Coconut oil for everything.

I had to prepare, yes, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. (I did however miss eggs!) HUGE shout out to my support group who encouraged me by suggesting recipes, trying out juice, or just giving me a thumbs up.

Breakfast:

I made my own cereal of equal parts flaxseed and chia seed. I mixed in 3/4 cup of coconut milk and heated it for one minute in the microwave. I topped it with banana.
Kale Yeah juice from Whole Foods: kale, pineapple, banana, orange juice

Lunch:

Salads topped with beets, black beans, garbanzo beans, and half an avocado

Snack:

the other half of my avocado and plain hummus or sometimes artichoke and olive hummus

Dinner:

Quinoa with some type of vegetable medley

Vegetable soup

The goal was to make it to at least 10 days. On day 8, I caved and ate eggs, but I was strict with everything else! I was happy to know that eggs didn’t bother me. On day 11, I tried a bit of dairy. It didn’t affect me too negatively, but I did notice a change. On that day I also tried a glass of champagne. I took all I had to finish the glass and I immediately noticed adverse reactions. My intestines felt like they were on fire. The next day, I felt sluggish and I had a headache. Immediately, I went for my Kale Yeah juice to see if it would help and it did. But something else happened. I came across this article about EBV. Yes, I saw it was on Goop and rolled my eyes, too, but I strongly suggest you read it, especially if you suffer from CFS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, or Fibromyalgia. Much of what I took from it was the simple truth that I’d experienced first-hand. I had to change my diet. Yes, I still need rest, but I also need plants---whole, organic, non-GMO, plants as my medicine. I’ve already lost 10+ pounds, but I’m not hungry. I want a piece of chocolate and I would like some coffee, but I’m not hungry for them. Other friends who I’ve known who have adopted a plant-based diet---more than 95% plant based and cutting out all of the other stuff---have also noticed a significant improvement/positive shift in their health.

As for me, I’m gonna keep trying. I want to make it to 80, but not just arrive, but I want to dance and run into 80.

What a Lovely Day: The One Where I Sliced My Finger

What is this? Another post already!

On Sunday, I set out to have an epic Father’s day celebration since our girls were out of town enjoying Camp Nana & Grandfather. The plan was to have brunch, visit the Farmer’s Market, work on the yard, then go to a movie. We had a brilliant brunch, and headed over to the Farmer’s Market where we scored the largest zucchini I’ve ever seen. Yeah, everything in Texas is bigger, apparently!


Moments after this photo, a massive rainstorm hit and we were caught in it. We had parked a few blocks away and the walk to the car felt like we were in the middle of a splash park. The fat rain and strong winds didn’t hurt. It was still plenty warm and the cool rain was refreshing. I was actually laughing, because I love pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. On the drive home, I was literally sloshing in my seat from the downpour, all the while, a stupid grin graced my face from the experience.

When we arrived home, instead of working on the lawn as previously mentioned, I opted for a nap. No sense in attempting to mow during the rainstorm. It was such a glorious nap, too. I slept the hardest I’ve slept in weeks and was so re-energized, I awoke hungry. I remembered I still had my birthday avocados (doesn't everyone?), which needed to be eaten, so a snack of guacamole before the movie sounded like a great idea. The avocados were perfectly ripe, too. I diced the garlic. I had tossed in my salt. I chopped cilantro. I squeezed the lime. I spooned the halves of the avocado that didn’t have a pit into my bowl. Then, I took my Global Chef’s Knife to the pit to take it off--just exactly as I have done many, many times over the years. You know, each of those times I’d performed that same task, I remembered feeling quite proud at accomplishing such a dangerous feat--knife skills can be dangerous, after all! This time, however the pit just slid around in a circle when I tried to grab it with the center of the blade and an easy chop. Instead of just squeezing the avocado to produce the pit, I earnestly shoved the pointed end of the knife to the pit, so as to stab it in place…

….the pit easily tumbled out, the sharp knife easily sliced a 1 inch gash near the joint of my left index finger, and all together, like Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9, all pieces clashed to the sink! I rinsed knife off, my blood pooled blood under the cool water, my mouth salivated because I was so hungry--all I wanted was some guacamole. I calmly called out saying I needed to get to a doctor, willing my finger to be ok, telling myself no less than 50 times that I didn’t feel the pain. If I can state it aloud and rationalize it to my brain to stop feeling the aches, I can likely suppress it. (Surprising myself with this ability: when we were at the ER later and the triage nurse asked me my pain level, I stated 1 on the scale of 1-10. It was by no means a 10, but I did expect to say something higher, because duh, we were at the ER!)

I did a quick check on WebMD to see what to do and how it compared to other lacerations. According to the Internet (ha!), I had between 12 and 24 hours before I needed immediate attention, so I said, let’s try to make the movie*. We cleaned it up the wound, bandaged it and headed out. Nevermind I could see the blood saturating the bandage. I clot well and I had a back up paper towel just in case. However, being Father’s Day, all movies were sold out unless you wanted to sit at the very front row. Dangit! Off we went to the ER, where I was gifted with some Lidocaine and five stitches.

The doc asked me if I’d ever gotten stitches before and I answered honestly, “Yeah, on my vagina.” He was a bit taken aback by my bluntness, and caught his stammering by saying, “oh..well, uh…you were likely numb from an epidural.” I interrupted him and said, “No, I felt it. Both my births were natural and the stitching was well, not pleasant, but after giving birth coupled with the hormone surge, the tiny pricks weren't really a factor. The birth itself was a 10 on the pain scale.” We continued to joke and he showed us proper stitching technique--in the event of the zombie apocalypse (his words!), then walked me through what to expect. As a result, I’m going to miss playing in the annual dodgeball tournament which will be later on this week, but the whole thing made for a great story!

That night, we stayed in and made a plan to go to the movies the next evening.

*The movie was Mad Max: Fury Road and in my opinion, such a clever and fantastic action movie with heart! I was overwhelmed, surprised, in suspense, and felt like I was a small child watching my first ever action film, only there were really strong female characters in search of redemption. I HIGHLY recommend you go see it! It may not be for everyone, but it was DEFINITELY my kind of film. I had been wanting to watch this film since it was released, but we didn’t have a sitter or time. While everyone else is raving about Inside Out or Jurassic World, I’m behind the curve saying, hey, check out Mad Mad, folks, because I agree with Rotten Tomatoes’ 98% rating! Go now, before it leaves the theaters.

My Romantic Dragon Slayer

Last August, I felt like I’d been through an emotional spin-cycle and somehow came out of it feeling like someone had shoved me through two tight rollers: leveled, sore, shattered but still alive. I’d been made aware to face my demons head-on and I’d felt so emotionally violated as a result of it that, well, I shut the world out. It was revisiting a familiar place, that I seem to cycle through, only this time…this time I was armed. This actually surprised me quite a bit. Mainly, I think it is because I was open to accepting grace and through the cracks, love shined through. The other times I had been in this state of depression, I’d felt so low, I allowed shame and grief to consume me. I didn’t reach out. I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone, largely in part because I was ashamed and mostly because I didn’t want to seem weak and burden someone else with my baggage. So I held tightly onto dark experiences, never openly admitting them to anyone. I had no idea how each of those experiences had left an invisible fingerprint onto how I viewed the world…how I reacted to people. It must be state-the-obvious day, but think about it some…Have you ever reflected on those miniscule moments in time that altered/shaped you? Look at a scar on your body and remember how fast the injury happened, but that everlasting scar, undeniable, and at times, blends in with the rest, but it is there.

When I graduated from college, I was able to share some time with my grandparents. My grandfather had motioned me to him, and let me know that the secret to a long life was to have a shot of tequila every day. If I felt sick, then tequila would cure me. If I was thirsty, the tequila would help. If I was cold, the tequila would warm me. And if I was melancholy, the tequila would medicate my soul. He even presented me with a clay pot that my grandmother told me he kept cool water in, but he whispered he kept some tequila in it, too. ha! I grew up believing my grandfather was this stern, proud stereotypical Latino who loved dancing, did not at all fear hard work, and had a passion for life. I was petrified to ever talk with him as a child. I really don’t know why. I remember his large, weathered hands…hands that had known hard labor for years. The smile creases around his eyes, that I liked to attribute to the many smiles he always gave me. I remember the feel of his stubble on my face and how, coupled with is aftershave, would make my face itch and burn. I remember the blessings he’d pray over our family before we would travel back home, especially in the later years, when he was in his maroon plaid robe, pajama pants, and black leather slippers. The mess of a curl atop his head transitioned from peppered to all white the last time I saw him. When he spoke, I listened.

My first experiences with tequila were quite typical: really bad hangovers—CRUDA. When my uncle passed away, the evening after his funeral, I splurged and bought a bottle of Don Julio 1942 tequila. It was the first sipping tequila I tried and what a completely different experience! I was uncertain if the experience was altered simply because I sat around with my aunt and cousins, sipping this tequila, remembering my uncle, hearing incredible tales of his life’s adventures. My favorite, was of him joining the Navy in spite of not knowing how to swim. The one of him jumping off the ship into the ocean could’ve been horrible, but instead, it was an incredulous moment of strength of spirit and my family’s tenacity. I smell that tequila and I remember my uncle fondly. I remember that evening, and I am connected to my family all over again.

After that evening, I wanted to explore tequila with new eyes. I tried infusing it differently and making fancier cocktails based on classic recipes. I was introduced to Casa Dragones through a local store that had a free tasting. Truthfully, it was on Mama Oprah’s list of favorite things and I wanted the chance to taste a bit of what true luxury felt like.  It was winter and I went with my work buddy. He and I held onto the Riedel tequila drinking glasses and sampled the very best tequila I had ever tasted. Fruity with a peppery-spice back end, the flavors were different, yet very much complimentary. At the price point, however, I was unable to dive into a full bottle.

I kept it in my mind and left it there locked away until last August. I needed comfort. I needed reassurance. I needed something larger than myself. When faced with irrational demons larger than dragons, I needed a dragon slayer. Emotional ache…I splurged on a bottle, that has lasted us very nearly a year. The emotions poured out of me as fluidly as this nectar. But I refused to associate that taste with pain. When given the chance, we would open the bottle and pour a little out to share with friends and family.

You can imagine my excitement when I was invited to another tasting! I’d already tasted it, but this time around, Bertha González Nieves, the first ever female Maestra Tequilera and the maker of Casa Dragones would be presenting the tasting. Additionally, Katherine Clapner, the chocolatier behind Dude, Sweet Chocolate would be there to pair her tasty morsels with the tequila. (chocolate + tequila=outstanding) It became an instant date, further made even more meaningful when one of my running heroes would be joining us along with his wife. I had no idea the tequila lesson we would gain that evening, nor was I prepared to witness the levels of romanticism of my beloved.

As the evening progressed, it felt like we were taking a special tour through San Miguel de Allende around Tequila through the region of Jalisco, Mexico. The breathtaking landscapes, full of rich nutrients ripe for the agave plant to produce the tequila. We were taught the three levels of the glass and what each section would yield in terms of flavor and scent. The objective of attending the tasting was just to learn more and share some quality time. When it came time to make a decision as to whether or not we would make the purchase, I humbly declined, simply because we had some larger upcoming expenses. I was grateful for the experience. I leaned over to Don, asking him if he would grab a photo of me with Bertha and Katherine. If given the opportunity to meet captains of industry, I always jump on it. If faced with the chance to meet females who are captains in the industry, I MUST meet them, grab a photo, and tell their story to my daughters to inspire them of the whole world that exists before them.


I tried to not be too much of a fangirl. I was so excited and I treasure this photo photo so much!

Then Don did something…he flagged down the order taker and grabbed a box. But not only did he grab a box, he struck up a conversation with Bertha González Nieves, encouraging me to tell her my grandfather’s advice. As I told her the story, her brown eyes penetrated my soul as she listened to the story from my heart. I was overcome with pride, my voice shaky, tears streaming from my face. The conversation was brief, but all of the memories flooded the forefront of my thought.  We told her of our daughters and how we try to not only share stories of inspiration of the strong women in our family and of those we met, but also how my culture is very much a part of their lives. We told her of the dreams we had for our daughters. We shared with her the story of my uncle passing. We shared with her how Casa Dragones has been there for us, already, in times of melancholy and in times of celebration. Yes, it is a bottle of tequila, but to us, there is so very much more rooted within the beautiful package.

And so, he handed the bottle to her and asked her to personalize it (when you purchased the bottle at this tasting, a master calligrapher would inscribe your words). She’d taken some notes during our conversation, she signed the box and we told her where we wanted the calligrapher to write words. A few short weeks later, we received this memento, honoring my grandfather:



That was my husband’s gift to me. A reminder that family is important, that tradition matters, that with patience (it takes at least 8 years for the plant to grow—sometimes 12, then the tequila ages for 5 years!) all hurts can heal. Scars, whether invisible or invisible, can hurt, but with time…

Sit. Wait. Sip.  {a hug from the inside, from deep within the soul}

I adore these gestures of my beloved. I adore his romanticism. I appreciate his patience. I appreciate his ability to still surprise me. I treasure the amazing---my romantic dragon slayer.

Recipe Monday: Tom Kha Soup

Goods:

1 clove garlic (sliced)
1 can heavy creamy coconut milk (I use the kind from Trader Joe's. It's perfect for this.)
2 cups of veggie broth (I use my leftover whey from this recipe and add a tablespoon of better than bouillon veggie-chicken flavor)
Bunch of cilantro (chopped)
1 bag of cremini mushrooms (some recipes use straw mushrooms, but I don't like the canned ones and dried are hard to find. I like the earthiness of cremini and they are more available)
1 tablespoon lemongrass (I use the dried kind. Fresh adds a great flavor, but a PAIN to eat/dig out)
1/2 tablespoon herbs de provence
1 lime
a bit of ginger (I don't usually have fresh ginger and inadvertently forget this step almost always)
2 tablespoons butter (unsalted)
pinch of salt
pinch of red pepper flakes (only if you want some heat. my girls don't like that kind of heat so I will skip it but add to my soup)

Process:

Medium to medium high heat, melt your butter in a pan. Add your diced garlic. If you like extra garlic, go for it. Add your pinch of salt and the mushrooms. Get those nice and coated. Saute it up until they are slightly soft. Squeeze your lime juice onto the mushrooms, then add your ginger, herbs, and lemongrass. Mix them up together and give them a good saute. Add your cilantro. Give it another saute dance. You just want the greens to be lightly cooked, not full on wilted. Now add the veggie broth. Spoon out the creamy coconut milk and stir/agitate until it mixes with the rest of the liquid. Cook until bubbling.

Serve up!

*You can add fish sauce, chicken, tofu, and/or chili paste to add different elements and flavors. When I use fresh coconut, I like to get a young coconut and cut the meaty flesh into strips and add to my soup for added texture. When my girls get older, I may use fresh lemongrass more, but for now, to prevent excessive chewing, whining, and yes, even minor choking, I use the dried kind. It doesn't add the flavor in the same way as the fresh kind, but it works well enough. If you can use fresh ingredients, it'll definitely make a difference in the way it tastes. You may not always have access to fresh, though, so in a pinch, this recipe will work to hold you over until you can get to your favorite Thai spot!

Gluten Free Mexican Chocolate Cake

This recipe modified from Gluten Free Goddess found here.

We loved this cake. It was so moist and delicious. If you like the cinnamon goodness of a Mexican Hot Chocolate, then you are sure to enjoy this cake! My recipe differs from the original because I just make it gluten free, not dairy-free/vegan, too.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Grease and dust a 9-inch cake pan with butter and gluten-free flour. You will need a bowl for your dry goods, a mixing bowl, a 9" cake pan and maybe a couple of cupcake liners for extra batter.

Dry Goods Bowl:

1 cup all purpose GF flour (found at Trader Joe's)

3 tablespoons tapioca starch

1/2 cup sugar (because I didn't have the brown sugar, egads!)

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

Scant 3/4 teaspoon xanthan gum

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon instant coffee or espresso powder (decaf is fine)

Sift all dry ingredients and whisk to distribute evenly. Set aside.

Brew 1 cup of VERY STRONG coffee. Break up a bar of your favorite dark chocolate and set in a glass bowl. Set aside.

In the Mixer:

1/2 can canned pumpkin

2 tablespoons shortening

1/2 cup honey

3/4 cup milk

Splash of OJ

3 teaspoons vanilla extract

Let that mix until it looks smoothish. Your coffee should be done. Pour your hot coffee into the bowl with the chocolate bits and whisk away to mix them together. Wipe your drool because if you like coffee and if you like chocolate, you will wonder why you've never done this before at home. Seriously, don't drink it, you need it for your cake! That chocolate melted so wonderfully with the coffee, it's like they are doing this sweet, sweet dance....gahhhh!!

Pour into your mixer with the other wet ingredients. Slowly incorporate your dry ingredients. Mix until it looks smooth and cake batter-ish.

Instructions:
Pour the batter into the cake pan. Bake in the center of a preheated oven till firm- about 30 to 35 minutes. Please keep an eye on the cake.

Cool on a wire rack. Cover and chill.

Makes 8 to 10 servings.

Recipe Monday: Osso Buco Bianca Style

Osso buco is translated from Italian as “bone with a hole.” (Thanks Wikipedia!) I call it delicious! I first had this dish when I was in New York and saw it on the menu. It sounded tasty and whoooo doggies it was! It wasn’t cheap, but it also wasn’t a small dish. My plate could’ve been enough for two people. Most osso buco are cooked with white wine and served with gremolata. Mine is made with marsala and tomatoes, no marsala. Also, mine doesn’t have any seasoning, ok, bay leaves. Sorry, I lied. Yes, bay leaves, but that’s it. Everything else is the natural flavors of the foods. And who doesn’t love natural? (Why yes, that’s my Texas Tech snuggie taking a peek. Yes, this is 10:30 at night and I’m watching a recorded Downton Abbey under my snuggie in the living room. Yes, this was 2nd dinner. )

GOODS

1/3 cup flour (we used gluten free all-purpose flour)

salt ( a few tablespoons)

3 T unsalted butter

1 cup celery (finely chopped)

1 cup onion (finely chopped)

1 cup carrot (finely chopped)

3 or 4 cloves of garlic (sliced)

1/2 can of San Marzano tomatoes (I like that Cento brand)

1/2 tablespoon of Better than Bouillon (chicken or beef base, both are really good)

1 cup or so Marsala (yeah, I didn’t measure—you’ve never cooked with Marsala? That’s ok, it is a wine that you find near the Port wines. I don’t know if I’d drink it, but you could if you were desperate enough, I’m sure. It adds some great flavor, though. I use the Sperone Marsala brand that’s like $8 for a liter bottle)

Water (like a large glass or so, depends on how you like the sauce)

2-4 osso buco shanks

PROCESS

1. In a bowl, combine your flour and salt, then dredge your shanks through the breading. Make sure all sides are generously coated.
• Tip: I like to add a bit of salt to the shanks directly before dredging through. Set aside.
2. On medium to low heat, add your  3 T of butter to a Dutch oven (or oven safe skillet). Once the butter is melted, add your shanks and lightly brown on all sides. Use some tongs for this. Once browned, remove from your dish and set aside on a plate. Now add the onion, carrot, and celery to the delicious brown butter and fat currently residing at the bottom of your Dutch oven. Let the veggies get soft. I could be about 5-8 minutes. Now add your garlic, your better than bouillon, tomatoes, and Marsala.
• Tip: Feel free to take a generous swig of wine while cooking, maybe not your Marsala, but something else.
3. Stir it up. Gently break apart the tomatoes with your spoon to give it a saucy feel. he he he…saucy-sauce RAWR!
4. Mmmm…smells, good, huh? I let it cook for about 5-8 more minutes. You should have the beginning of a delicious looking & smelling sauce.
5. Add your osso buco to the mixture. I like to place it in, then cover it generously with sauce. Now add your 3 bay leaves to the top. Go ahead, make it a fancy triangle, I won’t judge. It’s fun!
6. Cover with your lid (or foil if you don’t have a lid for your pan) and let it bake for an hour and a half to two hours (check it at an hour and twenty minutes, because some ovens are speedy!).
• Tip: Pour a generous glass of your wine you’ve been drinking and watch an episode of Downton Abbey or do a yoga for wine lovers workout.
7. When your alarm goes off, check the awesomeness! If it is cooked (meat falling off the bone, braised goodness), then remove from the oven.
8. Here is where some recipes will have you remove the meat, then reduce the sauce and blend it finely. Not me. I like the sauce to be chunky and feel like a veggie side dish with my meat.
9. Let cool.
10. Place meat with a generous amount of sauce in a large bowl and serve.
11. Enjoy! (maybe with the rest of your wine!) Cheers!

Gluten Free Bread Machine Bread

DRY GOODS

2 cups almond flour

1 cup all purpose gluten free flour

2 tsp xanthan gum

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

4 tablespoons granulated sugar

2 tablespoons active dry yeast (I used Fleischmann’s dry active yeast for breadmachines)

WET GOODS

1 1/2 cups  warm  milk*

2 teaspoons vinegar

1/4 cup  olive oil

2 extra large eggs, room temperature

extra olive oil and tapioca flour for the pan

PROCESS

1. Take your extra virgin olive oil and tapioca flour and oil and flour your bread machine pan.
2. Whisk together all of the dry ingredients in a bowl, then carefully pour into your breadmachine.
   *I realized I didn’t have regular milk in the house. We seldom do these days because both girls seem to have a negative reaction to drinking cows milk. If I have some, it is because I know I’ll be baking or making paneer. I just happened to make paneer that morning, thus using all of my milk. Oops, so anyway I took 3/4 of heavy cream and 1/2 cup of water to make “milk”
3. Pour (or crack) all of your wet ingredients on top of the dry mix directly into the machine.
4. Close the lid and set your machine to process for regular white sandwich bread. This will take about an hour and a half or so, depending on your machine and altitude.
5. When done, take out immediately from the machine so it doesn’t stick to the sides.
6. Enjoy!

I adapted my recipe from this one here found at the Art of Gluten Free Baking. I also referred to Gluten Free Goddess’ tips for bread machines.

Notes: Xantham gum is expensive. I was lucky to find it in the bulk goods section. I knew I only needed 2 teaspoons, so I took the smallest container and filled it only halfway. This was quite a bit of savings. Also, my all purpose gluten free flour comes from Trader Joe’s. Don has enjoyed everything that I’ve made with it so far, so it seems to be a quality substitute. He prefers it over the Bob’s Red Mill Gluten free. Speaking of Bob’s Red Mill, that is who I used for the almond flour. Going forward, I will use 1 cup of almond flour and 2 cups of the all-purpose flour. This bread tasted nuttier and earthier than I wanted, but it was still good!

Mushrooms are Not Only a Funghi, but a Vegetable #Fall4Mushrooms

Ahhh mushrooms! When you look at this photo, you either salivate or you shudder at the thought. Me, I’m someone who salivates. I love mushrooms! They bring all sorts of flavor to any dish, they are packed with Vitamin D, and they work with any meal of the day. From fancy chanterelles, to plain white all the way to oyster, portobello, shiitake, and cremini, larger trumpet and one of my favorites morels, all of them make me smile. September is National Mushroom month and there are sure to be many varieties in the store for you to consume!

To get you started, I will share with you one of the first dishes I’d learned to make on my own. This dish not only made me fall even deeper in love with mushrooms, but also started my love for cooking! Thanks to my Tia Vickie for showing me how she prepared them back when I was 7.

Simple Sauteed Mushrooms

1 package of white mushrooms (pre-sliced or whole, but if whole, you will slice them)

2 tablespoons of unsalted butter

3 pinches of sea salt

In a sauce pan, over medium to low heat, add the butter to the pan and a pinch of sea salt. When the butter has melted, add the entire package of mushrooms. Swirl around the mushrooms until they are sufficiently coated with the butter. Now add your second pinch of salt. Toss the mushrooms in the pan around and let cook until each one has turned from white to brown. Scoop out onto a plate, not trying to add the excess butter. If you like, you can add your final pinch of salt. Serve and enjoy!

 

What are some of your favorite ways to use mushrooms?

**I was selected to participate in this campaign by the one2one network and my be eligible for prizes because of my participation. The statements are my own.**

Giveaway: Cuppow BNTO

One of my favorite innovative companies, Cuppow, had launched a new product called the BNTO.

BNTO (ben-toh) is our new canning jar adapter - it's for bringing great food on the go!

Canning jars are designed to store food safely and make awesome lunch boxes: they are easy to clean, cheap, and you can microwave them! The only problem is that sometimes the foods that taste the best together don’t travel well together. We took inspiration from Japanese "bento boxes" and created a conveniently shaped insert that separates a canning jar into two compartments so you can mix or dip like a champ. BNTO should provide the perfect companion for all sorts of food adventures!

Obviously, you will have to own a wide-mouth mason jar to use this nifty gadget, but if you have one, there are loads of uses. I will be giving away 1 BNTO to one of you! Yes, I’m talking about you, gorgeous! You deserve this! Have you wanted to try that Pinterest salad in a jar, but are afraid of soggy lettuce by the time lunch rolls around? Then you need a BNTO. Want a healthy celery and and peanut butter snack? BNTO has you covered. How about hummus and pita chips….oooh or spicy salsa and chips?? BNTO is your pal. Maybe you want some cookies and milk, yep, BNTO is your buddy. Lots of uses!

You can leave a comment here to enter. For a bonus entry, tweet this or share it on any number of social media avenues and let me know. Good luck! Contest ends Saturday, July 13.

   
**This is a giveaway of my own doing. Cuppow in no way has provided me with a BNTO, heck, they might not even know I’m giving one away. I just think this product is so awesome and it needed to be shared!**
BNTO by Cuppow! from Paper Fortress on Vimeo.

Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown

I keep trying to give this season’s Mad Men a shot, but frankly, it has been irritating me. Even though, each Sunday, I’ve tuned to AMC hoping it’ll maybe morph into The Walking Dead. And each Sunday, I think it will show at 8, but it really doesn’t air until 9, so I find myself with an hour to kill. Lucky for me, this week I stumbled upon the second installment of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown when flipping over to CNN for more Boston news coverage which has been forced down my throat. I know, I need to turn that off. That’s what happens when I have an early  evening nap and I can’t sleep just yet.

Anyway, hearing a good story is something I enjoy a great deal. If that story involves food and other personal anecdotes, then I’m completely captivated! If it is narrated by Tony Bourdain, then I’m a fan. If you are the same way, then you definitely need to check out Anthony Bourdain’s new project: Parts Unknown, on CNN Sundays at 8PM Central.

Recipe Monday: Baked Avocado with an Egg

I swear, you guys must think I’ve been having a love affair with avocado. I do love avocado! YUM! The other day, we were out with friends when the topic of eggs and avocados came up. Well, I went off and gleefully goaded my Beloved to describe his process for baking an egg inside of an avocado. I first saw the idea in my Everyday Foods magazine. (Still upset that I don’t get it monthly! stomping foot)

Our one friend grimaced at the thought. Blech, eggs (or was it avocados) gave her the heebie jeebies. Our other friend intrigued, asking, “How you get it all to fit in there?”  (insert inappropriate THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID)

Baked Avocado with Egg

• 1 egg
• 1 avocado
• 1 oven
• 1 pan
• 1 slice of muenster cheese
• 1 drizzle of olive oil
• 1 pinch of sea salt

 

Before…Preheat oven to 425

Action…Slice avocado 2/3 from the top, remove the pit. Drizzle a bit of oil onto your pan. Place the 2/3rds avocado in your pan/cast iron skillet. (set the other 1/3 aside for now) Crack your egg and fill the space once occupied by the pit. If the pit is smaller, then you can scoop out a bit to make room for your egg. Sprinkle a bit of Sea Salt on top.

Process…Place in oven and cook until your egg is cooked to your choice. I like mine runny, extra runny, so they are cooked for about 7-10 minutes. After removing from the oven, I immediately add my slice of muenster cheese on top. Because, melted Muenster is the way to go. If you’ve never had it melted, then you’ve been doing it wrong. For added *zing* pop a couple of drops of Valentina or Sriracha. Delish!

Enjoy...Slice up the top third of your avocado and prepare like before. Enjoy it alongside your delicious treat! YUM!

Recipe Monday: Pancakes!

Don’t you be rollin’ your eyes at me. I’m not gonna talk about pancakes from Bisquick. There’s nothing wrong with those pancakes, I suppose. I’m just going to tell you how I like to eat ‘em. Remember a couple of Monday’s ago when I mentioned the Homemade Paneer? Well, after the curds, you have leftover whey. This is one of the ways I use that whey. Not to mention, this recipe is easy enough for my girls to help me prepare. They really enjoy making the foods we eat. Orale whey!

Leftover Whey Pancakes

• 1 cup of plain flour
• 1 egg
• 1 cup of whey
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1-2 tbsp butter

Before…Preheat your frying pan to a nice medium heat. This is important! If you are like me, your first pancake is a throwaway pancake anyway, but it is also my most delicious!

Action…Whisk all of your ingredients in a bowl. I usually start with the flour, then add the egg, whisk. Add the baking soda/powder, whisk. Then add the whey. The consistency should be smooth, not thick. If it is too runny, you may want to add a bit more flour. Add only a quarter cup at a time until the batter is consistent.

Note: If you used a half gallon of milk to make the paneer, you will have waaay more than just 1 cup of whey to use. Don’t over use the whey just because you don’t want to waste it! You can find other uses! Maybe I’ll post my veggie soup recipe that I make with the whey. Are you interested?

Process…Add half of your tablespoon of butter to your pan. Let it get all bubbly and spread that melted goodness all over your pan. Now, ladle your batter into the pan. More batter will make a larger pancake. My girls like silver dollar sized pancakes, so I make a mixture of them. This will immediately start to bubble around the edges. Here is when I add blueberries to the batter. I like adding them in this step instead of the batter so I don’t accidentally mush them. Plus, the Sugarbean doesn’t like blueberries like the Sugarbaby and I do, so this just saves me a step from having to make separate batters. Once your pancake has enough bubbles (airpockets) in it, take your spatula and flip it. You will notice a nice brown look. That’s the goodness right there. The butter gives it a bit of a crispy flavor, but the inside is cake-y! YUM!

Enjoy…We might add a bit of Agave nectar as the syrup and don’t add any additional butter. This is our typical Saturday morning breakfast while we watch “cartoons” (more like a movie).

Thank you for reading!

Recipe Monday: Homemade Paneer

I’m gonna try something new here. I’ve had some friends recently ask me for some recipes. I spouted off some nonsense, but in reality, very seldom do I actually use a bonafide recipe. When I meal plan, I have an idea of what to make by looking through my Everyday Food, but then I don’t revisit the recipe. I just use it as a base for ingredients. In any case, there are things that I make repeatedly because they are good and I figured, eh, I’ll share here. First one, homemade paneer.

Hello Bianca, I don’t really know what paneer is. Can you help?

Sure! Paneer is a South Asian type of cheese rich in milk protein. I find the texture amazing. There isn’t much flavor, per se, but it totally soaks up flavor in whatever dish you prepare, which makes it all the more delicious! You can buy it at the store, BUT if you don’t live near any Asian/Indian/Indo-Pak/Pakistani markets, then you wouldn’t find this stuff. Here’s how you can make your own paneer:

 

Homemade Paneer

1/2 gallon whole milk (remember Moo Mondays at Central Market, half off milk!)

1 to 3 tablespoons of white vinegar (you can use any type of acid like lemon juice)

cheesecloth over a strainer

container (like a pyrex dish) to mold your paneer

1. Bring the milk temperature to just below boiling and turn off your heat. This is when those tiny bubbles start to form. It’s a short time from when that happens and when it is rolling to a boil. I usually add a pinch of salt. You can stir it as it cooks. You can also enlist the help of your 5 year old to stir and pretend you are witches over a boiling cauldron. This is great until your almost 2 year old wants to help and stir too, and then they will both start to fight over who gets to stir more, which will eventually lead them to bickering. In which case, you try to settle with an alternative food snack since you are in the kitchen, after all, and all is well until you maybe burn your milk a little bit. 

   

2. Add your vinegar to the milk one tablespoon at a time, stirring after each time.  (This is where it gets all fun and science-y!) The curds will separate from the whey. (Those bits of brown in my pot are b/c I was multi-tasking and burnt my milk, but hey, bonus flavor! Remember from earlier??)

   Wait a bit to pour over because you could get quite a bit of steam and I don’t want you to burn yourself! In my case, my smallest one had to potty and big sister took her, so I raced off to make sure all was well with them. Once we had all of that done, enough time had passed for me to be able to strain it.

    

   

3. Now pour the mixture into the cheesecloth covered strainer. (I don’t have a photo b/c I forgot to snap one during this step because the house was eerily quiet and I was rushing to strain my curds from whey because things are too quiet!! All was well. The 5 year old covered the nearly 2 year old with some lotion on her hair because “she needed a style, mommy” ‘eh, extra conditioning and a nice smelling head never hurt anyone.)

   Note: When you do this, have it over a bowl so you can save all of that whey*.

4. Try to strain out as much of the whey from the curds as possible. Transfer the curds into your pyrex dish and spread to your mold. Set in the refrigerator overnight or up to a week from when you will use the curds. Again, the brown spots in mine were from where I burnt the milk. It’s ok, it won’t compromise the flavor, just the look. Mine isn’t in the cheesecloth just for the sake of the photo. I typically leave it wrapped and press it flatter with a pickle jar just to really get it into that rectangular shape.

You can eat the curds immediately. Collectively, it looks almost like ricotta. When it is warm, I’ve given it to my girls and they think it is a warm cheese treat. Also, they know when I pour the whey into mason jars we will be having pancakes and soup soon! whey pancake recipe coming soon!

*Whey is still highly nutritious and can be used in a variety of ways. Don’t waste your whey! My friend Dadthebaker taught me that!

Now go on out and make some paneer. You’ll feel like a scientist in the kitchen!

Dishcrawl DFW – Uptown March 2013

**Until I can get my other blog up and running (worstvegetarianever…darn internets with their picky DNS settings), I’m going to continue as usual here. **

 

Thanks to Twitter, I happened upon Dishcrawl DFW. They were having an event in Uptown, Dallas (near my office stomping grounds) and I figured it’d make for a great date night. I always love it when my Beloved takes the train in to town to meet up with me. It makes me feel all grown up!

But what is a Dishcrawl, I’ve never heard of it? A dishcrawl is like a pubcrawl, but with food. Think of it as a progressive dinner. If you love food (and y’all know, we do love food!) then this is for you! This dishcrawal, the plan was to go to four different restaurants in the Uptown area, walking to each one. The restaurants are a mystery, only being revealed to you as you are leaving the previous venue. 48 Hours before the event, we received an email telling us where to meet up. Cost was $45 a person (plus processing fees) and you pay for your drinks. There were 20 spots available, so inevitably, you were going to meet new people. Some of the places were able to accommodate for Don’s Gluten-Free diet.

Stop 1: Arcodoro Pomodoro

Drinks: $4 frozen grapparita, very sour and I didn't like it. I gave mine to Don.

Amuse bouche - Bruschetta, fried ravioli with wild boar, endive stuffed with tuna tartare, arancini

This was convenient for me because this restaurant is located at the bottom of the building where I work! Super win! I was able to log in a few extra hours until Don’s train arrived. We had a lovely time at the bar making a new friend and chatting it up with the bartender about different places to eat/check out and share opinions on what we liked/disliked.

The endive was the best thing. The Wild Boar ravioli was intriguing and tasty enough that I'm willing to give them a 2nd look. Previously, I’d gone for lunch and left so unimpressed I didn’t want to return. I’ve heard great things about their dessert, also, so I’m wiling to give ‘em another try.

Stop 2: Nobu

Drinks: Sake for Don and a Lychee Elderberry Martini with St. Germain and Goose

Appetizer: Salmon, Cucumber, and Yellowtail rolls

The rolls were tiny, like the circumference was somewhere between a nickel and a quarter. Not a bad thing, but this plate was to be shared by 4 adults. Um…that’d be enough for just me (yes, I’m that person). Remember, the gluten-free thing? Well, Don can totally eat this, so this was his place to load up, since he was only able to enjoy the endive at Arcodoro Pomodoro.

While here, we connected with a couple who had recently moved here from Oregon. They were so awesome, easy to talk to, and so much fun. We happily gave them our favorites up and down Knox/Henderson area, near where they will be moving soon.

Stop 3: Sambuca

Drinks: House Chardonnay and Rum & Cokes for Don

Main: House Salad, Mediterranean Veggie Lasagna (filled with asparagus, mushrooms, spinach, roma tomatoes, and black olives) and Chicken breast over potato hash with a champagne sauce

The chicken was dry, I loved the lasagna! Most importantly, I loved the live jazz band. We had great conversation with lots of laughter and on our way out, Don and I snuck a dance on their dance floor. :) Oh, but back to that lasagna. Don couldn’t eat it and since it was a veggie lasagna, I would have liked to have seen them make the lasagna layer out of a cucumber or a zucchini to really make it all the way vegetarian and gluten-free friendly. The flavors married so well, I would’ve traded my chicken for more lasagna. (didn’t finish my chicken, in fact. wasn’t worth finishing)

The dinner conversation at this place was a hoot! We were in stitches laughing about everything and nothing. Giving tips on other places around Dallas. We realized quickly how much we really like to eat and explore new places. Quite a contrast from what I had typically eaten before meeting Don. I like that we can celebrate this adventure together.

Stop 4: Dee Lincoln's

Drinks: Rum & Coke for Don...he likes rum...I didn't have anything since Id' be driving

Dessert: Bread pudding, pots de creme, and berries with cream

The bread pudding was literally bite size. Like smaller than those tiny brownies they have here. The chocolate pots de creme were like a jello shot shooter. Not gonna lie, it was disappointing to see that was served in a plastic 1 oz solo container. Not cool for such a high-end place. I expected more. It had potential to be so much more. For the chocolate itself, it was ok. Not really quite what I’d expected. Oh, and the berries, 3 total. 1 blackberry, 1 raspberry, 1 blueberry with a tiny drizzle of cream.

All in all, the people we met were great. Good date night and I’d highly recommend it to anyone, single or coupled up. You will be around people who enjoy culinary adventures just like you. Or this would be a fun outing with friends, too!

Clean Eating & Health

There is so much information out there, it seems pointless for me to write down my own thoughts, but I will tell my story and what I have done differently. Whew...this will take a lot of courage to be this honest.

This was me, January 1, 2010. I weighed about 185 pounds and wore a size 14. I was happy that was back down into the 180s because I'd been teetering in the 190s. I hadn't really done a whole lot of regular exercise. I'd gone into a funk of sorts. IF I ran a mile, it would've just been one or two and I would probably taken 12 minutes to do each one. Not a bad time, but not a time that I knew I could achieve. I became pregnant with Tesla later on this year.

This is me on February 16, 2013. I weigh 160 pounds and wear a size 10/12. I'm training for a half marathon. I'd like to finish it without injury with an average pace around 10 minutes each mile. I also want to be able to do 25 good unassisted pushups. I can do 6 really, really good ones right now.

I'm not a tiny person. I never have been. I am 5'7" (and 3/4 inches...those matter!). I have always been athletic. As far as clothing is concerned, I've worn at least a size 10 since I was a Freshman in high school. In high school, I also weighed 145 lbs. My ultimate (never thought I'd ever reach it) goal weight is 155. I can't believe I'm this close! Also, I'm not obsessed with weight. My biggest objective is to be healthy. On the surface, I measure my health by my legs and back. I carry a lot of my extra weight in my belly area. I had a lovely, squishy pansa! No doubt because of all of the heavy fat, sugar, and processed foods I'd consumed.

January of last year, I wanted a dramatic change. My friend started eating a vegetarian diet and I saw changes. For years I'd read stories of celebrities who had eaten only vegetables and their bodies were lean. I gave myself a challenge, to see if I could do it and also to see if there would be any dramatic changes. There were!

And then I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, Food Inc., and Forks Over Knives. My thinking shifted. I wasn't just going to limit myself to this 6 weeks of no animal eating diet. Because quite frankly, I was just eating salads and breakfast foods. I needed to make a dramatic lifestyle change and embrace what my husband had been telling me.

I was worried with how expensive it would be, but then I considered medical bills and the cost of clothes, my overall quality of life and unhappiness with how I felt about my image. I NEEDED to make this investment into my family. Immediately, anything with high fructose corn syrup or corn sugar was tossed in the trash. (That stuff is in EVERYTHING!) Also, no more white flour breads or pastas. Everything had to be whole wheat. No unbleached flour at all. No more foods with ingredients I couldn't pronounce. No more instant meals from the frozen food aisle. No more canned vegetables. Everything was fresh. I went back to basics. Regular sugar, real butter, organic milk, fresh (in-season) vegetables, and as much locally sourced foods as possible. We ate more diverse foods and the Asian markets, as well as, Bountiful Baskets, became our best friends. We saved quite a bit on our budget from eating animals, but similarly, we spent more because we were eating fresh foods. Likewise, in the weeks where I didn't meal plan, we spent money going out to eat because the issue with cooking foods is that you have to prepare it!

And then I started running again. I was regularly running 2-3 miles twice a week. I didn't take any supplements. I didn't drink any protein shakes. I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly. I also still drank a glass of wine with my meals twice a week. Since we are being honest, I would drink a few shots of tequila or a couple vodka sodas once a week (on average) when socializing.

Then, we went to Costa Rica. I witnessed first hand what it meant to have fresh fruits and vegetables. I was also struck with the sheer volume of waste, we as humans produce. I saw it washed ashore onto those beautiful beaches. I went to the market and made some of our lunches while we were there and realized that I could continue to be creative and eat just as healthily. I didn't have to be so limiting, I just needed to continue to keep the processed junk out.

This is where it is tough. I grew up with processed foods. I grew up with convenient foods. I was well aware of frozen meals and how to fix them. I also knew the food offered in them was far tastier than the hamburger helper I would make. Hamburger Helper is pretty good in its own right, too, though! But it should be. When I read the ingredients on the back, I noticed that those that were all chemical-y sounding were engineered to get me to crave them and want more. The New York Times recently had an article on this Extraordinary Science. (long read, but well worth it) It is so difficult to make a change in your life when you have so much against you. You want to gather and socialize with friends, but at the same time, if you go out to eat, you don't know where they get their ingredients or what they put in the food. You don't want to have to second guess each mouthful, but you do. You don't know how it will affect you in the long run.

This isn't to say that we don't go out to eat. This also isn't to say we NEVER eat fast food. This also isn't to say I never eat animals, after all, I call myself the Worst Vegetarian Ever. I do make it a point that when I do eat them, I know it is of the highest quality ingredients and I've tried to know where they come from. I also only eat animals (or something with a face), once a week. I still use butter. I still use milk when I cook. I also use white sugar when I bake. I try to make better decisions. Instead of McDonald's, we choose Chipotle. In stead of fried chicken, we opt for baked or grilled. Steel cut oats instead of instant oatmeal. Small changes in the right direction that yield greater results. READ THE LABELS...see how many calories you are consuming and see the ingredients you are putting in your body. If you can't pronounce it or don't know how it'll affect you, you probably shouldn't put it in your body.

My face is cleaner and brighter. My allergies have subsided. In the year when they were at an all time high and everyone around me was affected by them, I was sneeze free. My lactose intolerance isn't as bad as it was, especially with Organic Whole Milk (Central Market offers Moo Mondays, where milk is half off, yes, even organic milk w/o antibiotics in it). I continue to have good blood pressure and an excellent resting heart rate. My energy levels are higher.

The down side? I still very much want a fast food hamburger. There are times where a Marie Callender's fettucine alfredo microwave meal and chocolate cake sound amazing. I also want to indulge in a Braum's Black Forest sundae. I crave these foods. Also, eating all of vegetables, you system becomes more regular. Yeah, I poop more than I used to. I'm not constipated, but I do go more. For the record, I don't like pooping. It isn't that I don't like going in public, I just don't like going to do that at all. My own issue, I own it. There are times where I go hungry. The right food may not be available for me to eat, so I just won't. I'll have water instead. Then I get grumpy.

All this to say, you find balance. You find what works for you, but you have to be willing to make a big change if you want a change. You can't expect to take a pill or drink a special drink and think that you will suddenly be healthy. Make real goals for yourself. Read labels and most of all, keep going! Keep trying. Forgive yourself if you slip up. It's ok. Just start again.

Good luck!

Boulevardier & The Pin Show

We have a friend who is a budding fashion designer. We support our own. When he announced that he would be one of the 22 featured designers at this years The Pin Show, well, it was a no brainer. We would be there. We secured our tickets and arranged for a sitter.

Now here is where I have a freak-out moment. You see, we are knee deep in doing our taxes. Friday night, I’m stressing over what to wear to the show and my Beloved is sitting behind the computer stressed out. I look over to him from the random war movie I had on and my shift changed. I realized that he was processing something not at all related to fashion or what have you. I asked him about it and he said he needed to enter the receipts so we could file our taxes. (Yes, folks, we save our sales tax receipts and enter them by hand because the suggested tax amounts are COMPLETELY different than what we actually pay. Like 2-3 times of a difference, even more during years where we make larger purchases!) Seeing as how it was 10:30 in the evening, I shrugged my shoulders, gave him a hug, and asked him what I needed to do. I told him that I’d get up with him at 5:15 to do the data entry (because dontyaknow that I was an expert data entry person??). If he was gonna go to work, I’d do the work at home. And so, my mind shifted and by 10AM, I was finished. This was after a half hour delay from the Sugarbaby who awoke and absolutely refused to let me leave her alone sleeping in the bed. EXHALE

Next up, what am I gonna wear?? All fashion types are welcome. I had in my mind an outfit, but since the event was in a warehouse, I needed to be warmer. I had to return some thing to Nordstrom Rack and so I figured, I’ll browse around. I secured a peplum shirt (with a nifty zipper accent in the back that the Sugarbean loved assisting me when getting dressed) and the girls’ Easter dresses! It was quite a score. I treated them to Chick-fil-a for being so darling and helping me out with the decision. I meant to get a sweet tea, thinking the caffeine would give me a much needed zing, but when I drove home, I realized I’d gotten diet lemonade. Clearly I was an auto-pilot at that point because apparently, the last time I’d eaten there was shortly after Tesla’s birth. The meal was good and I made it a note to check them out some more because I liked their grilled “nugget” options with applesauce for the girls! <---talk about a tangent

Anyway, I shot a  text to my fashion forward thinking buddy (another one, not the one I mentioned earlier…you know, I have quite a few sartorialist friends). He suggested a fitted mini skirt to show off legs or skinny jeans. Um…all of my skirts are corporate type skirts and not so mini, but some are fitted. I don’t own “real” skinny jeans.  I decided upon wearing my recently purchased slim David Kahn jeans. This would allow me to “match” Don better. I secured my hair on top of my head using a hot bun and slapped some purple hair chalk for added effect. I also used a light purple Mac paint to highlight my eyes and put a bit of it on my lips to bring it all together. I’m wearing vintage earrings that belonged to my Beloved’s grandmother. Charming Charlie necklace and my Antonio Melani clutch was gifted to me from my mom. I wore candy apple red BCBG Girl pumps that I’d found at a resale shop in San Fran this past Autumn. I love them! Aside from the $20 I spent on the top, I had everything on hand. This was a big win for me to be able to put something together.


Onto my Beloved. Hello handsome! Wowsa…I love a man in a great jacket and a newsboy. *hotstuff* He’s wearing a newsboy cap and jacket we’d scored last year at Nordstrom Rack. The jacket is an olive green color and made Ben Sherman. You can’t see his shoes, but they were quite fun!


The new sitter was able to swing by our home half an hour before we originally planned. (by the way, we LOOOOOVE HER!!!) This was great so we could check out Boulevardier out in Bishop Arts! My next project, Worst Vegetarian Ever (blog site coming soon) wanted to check out their charcuterie plate. Ok, here’s the deal. They are a happenin’ joint. Busy doesn’t even begin to describe this place. I’m an idiot and didn’t make any kind of a reservation. I was a tiny bit crestfallen to see so many people in front of us in line and they were walking out. Heck, we were pressed for time to make it to the show, so we would wedge ourselves in any place near the bar if there was room. I found us a spot to chill, awaiting a server, who, as luck would have it, pointed us to a spot opening near their large window. As we waited, we chatted a bit with a fellow who was going on and on about the French Onion soup. I asked our server to surprise me with a drink. He brought me a Belle Femme and whaddyaknow, St. Germain is fast becoming a favorite of mine.

Then, we ordered the big board with the foie gras supplement. (see, I told you, worst vegetarian ever)and the French Onion soup. And then we were offered a table near the bar. I leaned over to the couple next to us who had occupied those seats when we did. I invited them to share a table, especially because we wouldn’t be staying long. They were open to it. And for the next hour, we had wonderful conversation with Regina (teacher) and Mike (technical writer). Strangers that we just happened to meet and it was so refreshing to just share time with them. And the big board…



Yes, some were better than others, but overall, it was a well put together and savory charcuterie. My favorites were the beef tongue (first time for me and I actually liked it), salmon, and foie (sooo good) We will definitely be back, this time with reservations and will enjoy more goodies.

We wrapped up, said our goodbyes and wished our new friends well. We headed back towards the bridge to the warehouse for the show. We secured free parking and walked over. The warehouse wasn’t too chilly, probably because it was so full of people. We had to stand in line to gain entry, then we had to stand in line to buy tickets, to stand in line to buy drinks. It wasn’t too bad, but because we didn’t secure seats in the General Seating section prior to that, the only ones available were too far to the back. We took our chances and found a spot closer to the runway on the opposite end. This was our view:


The show itself, went buy quickly! A couple of the designers really stood out for me. I was surprised and inspired. Standouts, for me:

• D.P.C. by Dora Yim (loved the open back dress from her Fall 2013 collection)
• Ann Hoang dresses…such fabulous fabrics and they were quite feminine
• Milli Starr millinery…their hats are just darling!
• Nine Muses (they had one long gown that screamed SEXY)
• Ladaska Mechelle (this white bathing suit, the 2nd to last image on the left side from the 2013 collection, is an inspiration for me to work harder in the gym)
• Tracy Popken I loved the lines on her clothes. I want to wear her clothes! The dress she was wearing was to die for!!!!! I want Tracy to be my BFF
• Hueso Outlaw (not just because he’s a friend, but his designs are fresh and unlike anything out there)

The show was quite fun, the band playing had a wonderful sound, and the entire event made for wonderful people watching. If you can get a chance to check local fashion talent, I highly recommend this show. It is well organized and fun for a date! Hopefully, you don’t stress out about what to wear like I did. They said they welcomed all and sure enough, they did welcome all!  At the end of the night, we were both spent. It had been a long day for us, so instead of hitting the town, we just went home, relieved the sitter early, rented Skyfall, and opened a bottle of vino. Cuddled together on the couch, it was so very nice after a wonderful night. I ended up skipping out on my glass of wine and missed the end of the movie. ha! But that night, with a fully belly, I had lovely dreams of fabulous clothes and large closets!! Ahhh…fashion (and delicious food)!

Jalapeno Mascarpone Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

JALAPENO MASCARPONE GRILLED CHEESE

I tweeted about discovering cooking with mascarpone cheese recently and my friend noticed it and sent me this recipe. Unfortunately, that evening, my beloved put the kibosh on eating jalapenos. He’s generally staying away from all things spicy until we get a full handle on what is going on with his stomach issues. I put it out of my head, deciding that I was still going to attempt to enjoy these. So during our weekly shopping trip, I added jalapenos to the cart, as well as medjool dates (slice ‘em in half, take out the seed, spoon in the mascarpone and you have some sweet deliciousness!). Guess what else was in the cart! Another tub of mascarpone cheese that Don had put in there without me asking. I guess he is completely aware of my love affair with this goodness!

I followed that recipe mostly. I used whole wheat extra grain bread. I used colby jack cheese that I’d shredded instead of cheddar. I only used 3 jalapenos, which allowed me to make 2 sandwiches. Plus, I don’t know what is going on with the suggestion of putting the jalapenos in the plastic bag. I don’t know if I was supposed to wait to put them in there, but my baggie started melting and then I nearly burned my fingers, so yeah, going back to loosening the skin/veins/seeds the old way.

This sandwich was soo unbelievably good! Yummy! Just enough heat for my tastes. Still very much a grilled cheese for my girls that they kept returning for bites. And I may or may not have slightly burned one side of the sandwich because I may or may not have been doing some of this instead:

Never miss an opportunity to dance, folks. Never, not ever! You should also try out that recipe. it is good stuff!

HUMP DAY MOVIE REVIEW

I’ve not done a hump day movie review in a long time. I won’t do an in-depth review here, but I will give you a bulleted list of movies I’ve recently watched and let you know whether or not you should invest the time in ‘em.

• Hotel Transylvania – loved it!
• Hatfields & McCoys – loved it!
• 10 Years – Not so much
• The Bourne Legacy – fell asleep, so not really sure, but I guess I didn’t love it
• End of Watch – loved it…gut wrenching, but honest and good
• Silver Linings Playbook – LOVED IT!!!

 

I’m doing my best to lift my melancholy. Today would’ve been the 13th birthday of my little Guapo. I’m sad about it, indeed, but I’m reflecting on what I do have and his spirit. So with that, go out and do something kind today! Hope you all have a jolly Wednesday!

National Chocolate Cake Day!

I like any reason to celebrate. So when there's an obscure holiday, like National Chocolate Cake day, well, by golly, I simply must eat/make some chocolate cake! Thank goodness for Pinterest, because I was just about to go to the store to buy a slice, but I really, really wanted to try my hand at making one from scratch. Martha, you are a genius!

First I started out by measuring the ingredients. I doubled the recipe because I was making a batch of "normal" cake and a batch that would be gluten free. To make it Gluten Free, I used a GF all purpose flour and a gf baking soda (I wasn't sure if there is a such thing as non-gf baking soda, but I used it anyway)

Interesting story about this. How long has it been since I've baked that I now only own a small glass liquid measuring cup (I used to have this gloriously large almost 5 cup liquid measuring cup). My large one has been broken for nearly a year. Also, all of my measuring cups (shaped like large spoons) are missing, except the 1/2 cup! What?? No worries, though. I guess this is just the excuse to get these lovelies. They are near the top of my wish list! I made it work, though.

Something to note: When I mixed the GF recipe, I added 1 cup of warm water according to the instructions. I probably would have only added 1/2 a cup. Also, it was quite a bit "earthier" when I did the mixing bowl taste. Not bad, just a different type of flavor that what I was used to. The cake passed the husband test. He proclaimed it a victory and said I didn't need to ice it. Also, remember to butter and flour your pans and don't just butter them. ha!

When I made the regular cake recipe, the batter was so sinfully delicious. It took everything in me to not eat it all. Wow. No really, wow! I skipped the homemade caramel part. I don't own a candy thermometer and the goal was the cake, not the filling. Heck, the icing wasn't even the goal for this one. I still made the icing, though, just didn't add the additional melted chocolate on top of the cocoa powder.

I stacked two of my 9 inch rounds, frosted it, and voila! Here is the final product:

I'm totally excited! I also made a tiny 4 inch personal cake for my BFF. Because how much better is chocolate cake when you share it??

The girls are totally going to be excited to have a slice of cake. Especially the Sugarbean. She helped act as a taste tester. She even willingly bypassed a donut in the morning to enjoy a slice of cake in the evening. Too bad I didn't finish the cake until after her bedtime, but rest assured, she will have a slice for dinner on Monday. She was such a great helper!

And in July, there is such a thing as National Chocolate day, so you have a few months to plan how you will celebrate. In the meantime, check out how my Beloved elected to celebrate that holiday back in 2011.

Cheers for chocolate! huzzah!