Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I couldn't think of a more aptly titled post because frankly, it is how I felt when I left the store. First off, let's start off on a positive note. I didn't spend $100-$200 on a pair of jeans! Yaaay!

Background: I have a semi high-profile charity event tomorrow evening where the attire is dressy denim. On Saturday, we are headed to the Pacquiao vs. Margarito fight. I've never been to a boxing match, so I figured since it was televised on HBO, it is better that I dress a little better than the normal t-shirt and jeans I probably would worn. I'm on a major budget, so whatever it was I needed to keep it in check.

Before I found out about the fight, I was going to buy these boots. I've been coveting them for a bit over a year, but did you see the price tag? Yeah, not in a budget. I could get closer to buying a cow and not only feeding off the meat, but use the leather for a new pair of boots. So I didn't get them. Then, I was presented with the opportunity to go to the fight. After that, I opted to go a different route with the outfit. A fierce pair of dark denim jeans to rock out this baby glow I have working. Woo-hoo!!

And then I discovered that I would have to go jean shopping. BLECH! The only thing I don't like more than jean shopping is bathing suit shopping. With that said, I go to Destination Maternity, which is a one stop shop for three kinds of maternity stores, all of which are based on your budget. I'm on a super tight schedule, so I wanted to go somewhere that would let me shop fast and maybe fit in my budget. Lucky for me, as soon as I walked in, a saleslady happily greeted me and I told her what I was looking for. She took it upon herself to pull all of the dark denim jeans in my pre-pregnancy size while I browsed the rest of the store. I was happy here, but not happy with the selection. I saw a great purple top, but they didn't have it in my size. After pulling a couple of other items, I slinked back into my dressing room and faced the mountain of jeans and several more pairs hanging on the rack. There were 12 different kinds of jeans for me to try on. Joe's Jeans, Citizen of Humanity, Lucky Brand, 7 for all Mankind, Hudson, Mavi, a Pea in the Pod, True Religion, J Brand, and ag jeans. (there were 2 kinds of Citizens and two types of Joe's) I tried every single pair on. Most of them didn't actually get much higher than my knees (almost mid-thigh). The ones I actually got over my thighs created this horrendous multi-layered muffin top from my flesh. Two pair were actually pulled on like normal. One pair had about 4 inches dragging on the ground. Price tag: $185. Ugh! Not perfect. My bottom looked flatter than ever, and the back of the jeans cut in my lower back so much, I don't know how I would be comfortable. The other pair came on and after much jumping and pulling and wriggling, they were on. But it was like someone had forced me into a pair of spanx and then spray painted denim over them. They were so tight, it was really embarrassing. If the jeans are tighter than your panties, then you probably don't need to be wearing them. Price tag: $195 My original pair of non-maternity jeans of this brand, I had the same issue as well. The last pair that I enjoyed, but were both too long and too tight were also $250!!! (online they are $199) If I'm going to spend that much money on a pair of jeans, I need them to be perfect. I have spent that much money on a pair of jeans. I have spent in the $200 plus range on a pair of jeans and didn't bat an eye about it. You know why, because they were PERFECT! I still have those jeans. For 3 years, I wore those pair of jeans at least once a week, sometimes twice. That was a pretty darn good investment to me. The only other pair of jeans that I have loved as much as this pair were the pair of broken in Levi 501s that I inherited from my father.

There I stood in really crappy lighting, staring at my ass, thinking I was the 2nd coming of Orca. I felt huge and unbrilliant. I'm nearly 5 months pregnant and this time around I feel like I have expanded a lot quicker than the last time around. However, like the last time around, I still appreciate my body and feel amazing beautiful...except for when I don't. At that moment, it took all my might to force tears back deep down. I grabbed the one item I enjoyed (a stylish tank with a lace overlay, very modern, very now and less than $30), went to check out, and donated $1 to the March of Dimes. I left with my tiny complimentary bottle of water, feeling lower than ever, and guilty that the plastic from that tiny bottle was still going to pollute the earth even if I recycled it.

Pregnancy should be a celebration for growing life. For defying infertility obstacles, for appreciation of the body and the limits with which we push it, and most importantly for the gift we've been given. Your butt gets flabby and soft. Your thighs inflate. Your feet swell. Your boobs swell to 3X their original size. Your back gets more padding. Your nose gets bigger. Your cheeks get puffier. It is all part of it. I welcome it and I love it. At times I lovingly complain about it, but it is worth it. Everything that I mentioned and's all worth it. I'm grateful for a devoting husband who shells out amazing compliments to me, for a best friend who COMPLETELY understands where I'm coming from, and for a Sugarbean who bestows a thousand kinds of kisses on me and tells me I'm pretty, even though she's up a half hour past her bedtime. That's the part that's amazing!

But jean shopping, ugh...

1 comment:

The Art of Family said...

Absolutely hilarious! So true in all your moments of tears, insanity, and hopefulness in trying on a pair of jeans. Our bodies change so much through the course of a miracle - and it IS amazing. Thanks for writing this - it reminded me so much of my own Destination Maternity shopping days! ;)
p.s. I bought a pair of Gap jeans for $50 6 or 7 years ago - and I wore it through out my pregnancy (it sits on the hips) and still do now. It's dark, straight legged, and although tattered at the heal - still perfect to me :) Don't give up! And have fun at the fight - you'll be gorgeous no matter what you're wearing!

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