Wednesday, November 17, 2010

HDMR: Burlesque

Holy moly Bianca, this thing doesn't even open until Thanksgiving, how in the heck are you doing an HDMR right now? Well, special thanks to my friend who invited me because she scored a ticket (plus 1) from Gordon and the Whale. Backstory: I had to bend time tonight because I had a work dinner in Uptown. I inhaled my food and thanks to an amazing server at Victory Tavern who put my order in early and got it out just as fast, I enjoyed dinner before zipping down the Toll to West Plano Cinemark. Of course there was a bit of traffic. Of course I had to park near the end. Of course the winds were blowing 30 MPH against me. But I made it in line (the 2nd to last line, mind you, but near the front of it, so I had hope!) I scored our wristbands when I got a call from Val letting me know she'd gone to the wrong spot, but she'd make it. Sure enough, moments after they called the line before ours, she ske-daddled in and I slapped on the purple wristband. Not 5 minutes passed when the manager of the theater came to us and told us the disappointing news: the theater was full. WHOMP WHOMP...BUT...We were welcome to go watch any movie for free. We went to get in line and were trying to figure out which movie to watch when I cop approached a rather angry (and flamboyant) man who was more than upset about being left out. His gesticulations were over emphasized by the Cher face held in his hand by a large Popsicle stick. Both he and Cher were pissed! I was worried that things were about to get out of hand in the theater and this poor guy was going to take a ride of a different sore, when all of a sudden, he scurried away like a happy rat who discovered cheese. I was intrigued and followed suit, because there could only be one reason to go from bitch to bliss in .5 seconds. He and Cher were gonna have some Cher! We hurried along and scored entry!! The two rows in the absolute front were not occupied, so that's where we had to sit, but I was grateful to just have a seat. :) Alright, alright, I've punished you enough with the backstory. On to the review.

Wow. Seriously. Wow. I hadn't been this excited to see a show since The Devil Wears Prada. I was hesitant to show my excitement because the probability of me getting to see this in the theater were slim to none. Also, not all musicals (especially the ones featuring famous singers) are great. But I had hope. I adore Stanley Tucci. Thanks to this season of The Good Wife I have a greater appreciation for Alan Cumming. This is probably the closest I'll ever get to seeing Cher in concert and I'd heard rumors that the ever adorable Kristen Bell actually played a semi-villian. Oooh...juicy. And then there's the gem of the show, Christina Aguilera, who has always held a special place in my heart because that little thing can sing, but it doesn't ever seem like she ever gets near the spotlight of some other chanteuses in the industry...and frankly it's a darn shame. She is completely and totally adorable in this film and not only that, but you believe in her spunk and the character. You find yourself pulling for her and craving more and more. That voice!! Aaack, I love that voice. Cher, oh momma, you more than got it going on! I only recall seeing her sing two numbers, but whoa! Finally, Cam Gigandet and Eric Dane, whooo, you guys make some nice eye candy to look at. The guys behind us were oogling and making comments that had me quietly giggling. Cam Gigandet's body reminded me of the way Don's body was when I met him, just not as tatted up, nor as tan, but wow. I fell in love with my husband all over again and for the rest of the movie, I didn't see Cam, I saw Don. So much so that I was a little more than jealous that Christina was kissing him. Talk about having to put the hormones in check!

My next favorite thing in the movie were the costumes. Oh the glorious glitz and glam of burlesque costumes make you wanna dress up, but with very little. *wink* I wanted to run right out of there and grab my glue gun and some sequins because surely there's something in my closet that needs bedazzling! (Sidenote: hate you...Louboutin for making a cameo with some gorgeous shoes...hate you! Making a gal drool with envy.) The movie itself is so sensual, visually and melodically. One tiny tidbit just for my dear friend Mandi, you will enjoy and appreciate the make-up! Girl, that's my inspiration for my company holiday party!

Finally, there's the music. Seriously, I want the soundtrack, stat. Unfortunately, not every song featured in the movie is actually on the soundtrack. However, every song they sung is on there, so that's definitely good enough. I can't wait to sit alone in my car and belt out the tunes in my own way. ha ha!

I highly recommend this movie, especially if you are fan of those powerful soulful solos of Christina's, that amazing snarkiness of Stanley Tucci and his eyebrows, and of the ever fantastic Cher. It will not disappoint. (and if it does, don't tell me because I don't want this bubble to pop).

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