Many of you who know me or who have been reading this for a while know that I when Mari-Jul was in utero, I referred to her as "Petunia." Few people know why I called her that, though. So, here, for the first time, I'm putting it out there. I had a bit of a tough time conceiving. For any of you who have had trouble making a baby, you understand. For someone who strives to be an over achiever, well, let me just tell you that I felt like a failure because it is the most primitive of things that I felt like I should do. Well, how happy was I the first time I got that positive test! It was one of those early tests and I was about a week late. I was on cloud 9 for about 2 days, but for some reason I didn't "feel" it. I was paranoid and opted to take that 2nd test that came in the twin pack. It was negative. I never made that phone call for the first appointment. I went into a mini depression filled with an immense intake of empty calories, cases of vino, and outrageous hyperbole. One of those expressions uttered amidst a broken bawling fit, complete with copious amounts of tears and mucus was...I'll never be able to make a baby. My womb is only for brambles and onions, but not babies!!
Then two very short months later, when I made peace with it all, after wandering around Denver, after swimming my troubles away in the Pacific ocean, after talking with Mickey & Minnie, and celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary, we were blessed! This time I "felt" it. I knew. At that moment, I heard Imogen Heap singing "Lonely Little Petunia". And yes, I had my very own little Petunia in an onion patch. I remember Flower singing it in Bambi. And I was happy. Utterly and completely happy. Every. Single. Day. Happy.
Here's my little petunia preparing to water a garden.
Sometimes she waters things with her left hand and other times with her right. Most of the times she likes to water herself.
Thank you, Jesus, for my lonely little petunia born from my onion patch.
I don't always understand God's plan, but I do know that my faith in God and my faith in love will never falter, sometimes we just need a little patience. :)