I love technology. I love having magic boxes that connect us to far off places. Here is where I give mad love to companies like Logitech, Samsung, HTC, Gateway, Apple, and Skype.

Several years ago, in the early days of Skype, we tried video chatting with my folks who were on DSL, not completely broadband. There was break-ups and stop-motion video. I knew someday the technology would catch-up, so I didn’t give up hope. We tried using a few mobile device apps during the past year to stay in touch, but again, sometimes the connection was great other times, the camera wasn’t up to par.

And then this year, things changed. We were able to get a clearer feed. I was able to chat with one of my friends who was a new mother. She hadn’t been able to leave the house much, but we were still able to talk and catch up as if she was in the room with me. Before we took our big trips, we made sure that we would have some connection, some way. When we were in Costa Rica, I was able to fire up my computer, connect to wi-fi, load up Skype and stay connected to dear ones back home. What a thrill it was to talk to our little ones from so far away and see that they were having a blast! I saw many of our Costa Rica schoolmates talking with their friends on Facetime or on Skype, too. I really enjoyed the time I had to write at breakfast at the little shop in Costa Rica. I also enjoyed talking to some of my most special people in that same shop! When Don and I traveled to Northern California with friends and our girls stayed back in SoCal with their grandparents (Hi Carol! Hi Mom! Hi Dad!), each night, they fired up Skype on their iPad and we connected to wi-fi to talk to them. So very far away, yet so close.

My girls have been sick this week. This is also the first full week of “normal” as we know it. Normal is where we all get up by 6:30AM. We all rush off to our schools/work, then we come home, eat dinner as a family, and then my husband goes to his part-time job (What, he has a second job? Yes, he does. You didn’t think that the sabbatical trips were free, did you? *grin*) while the girls and I clean up dinner (he and the girls prepare it) and do our night routine. He does have a few evenings off where we can enjoy it as a family, but this weekend, he and I are having a weekend date (thanks Mom & Z!!!), so he is working different days to maintain his hours. Needless to say, I was on the brink of a serious pity party in the evenings (hello, extrovert doesn’t do well alone). Since the girls had the nasty coughs, there were a couple of times where I had to sit quietly and do my best to revisit the magical memories made in the past few months. I held my little blessings tightly and just as they slumbered, the blue notification light on my phone lit up, notifying me of a message. During this time, I keep my phone on silent to not disturb them.

“Get online and let’s chat in a bit!”

My fabulously talented cousin who is an esthetician and a professional make-up artist…on real-life Hollywood stars…like at awards shows like the Oscars…for money…was wanting to have a video chat with me to give me the requested tutorial on the list of products he’d recommended to me! (I’ve committed to taking better care of my skin and wearing more products, but more on that another time.) That night, I was having some brain issues (light-headed/dizzyness/spots), but when we connected on that phone and were dressing up my face, I felt brighter and happier! Heck, after the conversation, I felt beautiful even, because my face was wonderfully painted! Tesla had awoken during that call and was happily busying herself with my meager bits of makeup. I got to see his new addition to the family, the beautiful and furry Thor and hollered hello to his partner.

Another time, I saw this on my Instagram feed…


I’ve been hanging with these boys for years. They come up for a visit a couple of times a year and we get to hang out when we go to Lubbock for visits. It was night time, I’d put the girls down and they were sleeping, so I responded with this…


Satellite Party! (Malibu for me…American Honey in honor of my cousin on the left in the above picture…Crown Royal Black for my Brother, in his shot glass that I bought him in Costa Rica that lives at our home—I didn’t actually take their shots. I’m saving them for when they come visit.)

“Where are you online? Get your webcam ready and let’s do this!”


Cheers! Oh but wait, another buddy showed up on their end…


And then our favorite San Diego gal had seen the images and texted me this…


In those ten minutes, we were all giggling, laughing, telling jokes, taking shots, toasting and you know…being social.


I couldn’t wait for Don to get home so I could tell him all about it. He said it best, “This is what social media is really about.” You know what, it is! There are wonderful causes to support, that can unite and divide equally. But this…video chatting with some loved ones in other time zones, in other parts of the world, it’s what connects us. All of the crappy snark, political comments, self-loathing, you know, the stuff that mucks up my social media feeds (thank God for the hide features on those things so I can respectfully remove myself from the negative without completely deleting) is not what it is about. If I want depressing, then I just go to the news site.

Having a quick date from far away just to see live-motion, hearing the words, simultaneously seeing the facial expressions…you know all that non-verbal communication…is awesome! Adding video chats with my faraway (and not-so-faraway) loves to my list of weekly to-do’s.

How do you all stay in touch?

Costa Rica–Day 1 of School

After a restful night, I stretched out of bed and felt a new soreness. I couldn’t believe we made it!!

We got dressed and walked down the block to The Bakery Café. Our hotel is at the top of the hill near the town’s Central Park. Our hotel has about 13 rooms. The park has 1 set of swings and a play yard with a couple of round concrete benches, lots of native trees and flowers. The Bakery Café is at the bottom of the hill, to the left. About 250 yards away is the ocean down a path. Across the street from the café is a bookstore. On the otherside, next to the café is a school, and kids are attending. You can hear the roar of the ocean and it is fantastic!!

We just had coffee. Plain coffee with milk for Don and café a la carmelo (coffee with caramel) for me. We sat and sipped our coffee, talking over the thoughts of the day. First poi, then later surfing. Eli (pronounced El-lee), our surf instructor actually came in for coffee with his female dog, Booger. She’s a small black terrier come de la calle/streetdog, and so cute! Eli has dreadlocks down to his waist. He dresses like a surfer. He has caramel brown skin and he smells like a mix of strong Axe and stale cigarettes on his breath.

We met up at Central Park in Montezuma with our practice poi. I traded mine with our classmate Brendan (who is 10) and so I was reppin’ Texas Tech with my new black and red poi. YES! We had class for about an hour and a half. Twirling the heck out of those practice poi. I discovered that going forward is much easier for me than going backwards. I only hit myself twice. Once in the temple (and wow, I really had a headache, it was tender when it hit) and again somewhere else, I forget. There’s only 3 of us in the class, so we get a lot of one-on-one attention!

Afterwards, we went back to our room and changed clothes. (We were quite sweaty from the humidity and workout. Yes, my arms felt like they were going to fall off, 10 minutes into the workout!) We took a walk to the beach, snapping photos, holding hands, strolling, and letting the waves kiss up to our ankles. All of God’s beauty in front of us, his grace holding my hand because I was in paradise with my husband. I froze that moment in my brain. No matter what we went through the day before, it was worth it for that moment. (And we both agreed that the $40 for information from that kid was money WELL spent, otherwise, we would’ve most certainly have taken a wrong turn).

We got back to the room, loaded up on supplies that we’d bought at the supermarket in Liberia and made ourselves a light lunch of fried yucca chips, macaroni and cheese, and an egg over easy. Then it was time to surf!!

We met up with the other classmates. Four were in the beginner class with us: Katherine, Rachel, Klaudia, Alayna. There were two in a more private beginner session, a father and son, Paul and Jackson. Then three in the advanced class, Matt, Steven (an Aggie) and a fiery redhead named Katelynn. We hiked an hour to Playa Grande, through amazing foliage! We passed lots of natural spring creeks, rocky beaches, soft beaches, even singing the Indiana Jones theme song because of the jungle-type atmosphere!

Finally, we arrived at the the turtle sanctuary, where the school has a shack where they keep their boards. There’s lots of cabins among the well-landscaped area for the volunteers who work with the turtles. Apparently, there was a hatchery that I’d totally missed. There’s also a rudimentary shower totally fueled by the natural spring water. It is quite refreshing, actually. We leave all of our personal belongings in the shack and they lock it up. We are assigned a board and then given about a 20 minute introduction/safety course. Then, we go to flat grounds and talk about the principles of surfing:Good position, paddle 1-2-3-4, pop up, legs shoulder width apart, feet perpendicular to the board. Sounds easy enough, right? You see, I’ve been surfing a handful of times before this and I always get stuck on the pop-up portion. My body doesn’t understand those mechanics.

Out we went. One by one, the instructor led us through the training and some were more talented than others. Don popped right up on his first wave. He looked like an old pro. No, really, in his board shorts and rash guard, he was shredding that wave!!

Then came my turn, and no popping up. Again, and again…poor Blue, my instructor was getting quite frustrated. But I kept at it. We even went back to the beach where he gave me a land tutorial and marked my board for the best position. After all, I’m quite coachable…if you only know how to explain it for me to “get it.” For the next hour and a half, I got tossed and flipped like a ragdoll. My sinuses were completely clean, and then some. I got on the board on my knees a few times, but never even close to standing. The last time I was rocked something fierce. That pride thing is ridiculous and a silly burden. I got choked up out of frustration and waved off Blue. I called it a day and chugged some water. He came to me and gave me an inquisitive glance. I told him I was frustrated with myself, but tomorrow, I promised to be better and I WOULD BE getting up! He smiled and appreciated my spirit. He thought I’d given up, but no, I just needed to reflect on what I was doing.

After we washed off and the boards were washed and put away, we hiked back.

On the way back, I actually looked up quite a bit more to enjoy the scenery. We passed a centuries old Indian made oven back from the times of Moctezuma (over time the name had been changed to Montezuma).

When we got back to the hotel, we showered, threw on some clothes and went out. I was so thirsty and spent, that I parked myself at the corner of Chico’s bar, ordered an Imperial beer, and sat to watch Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise. I needed to zone out. The beer was nice, then a 78 year old man came up and started talking to me. Over the next hour, he proceeded to tell me his life story (shocker) and I relayed it to Don. He was Puerto Rican, but left the country at age 18 to join the Korean War. He’s since lived in New York, Miami, California, then settling in Las Vegas. He has been retired for 30+ years and comes to Costa Rica for 3 months in the summer to avoid the Vegas heat. He’s been married 3 times, divorced 3 times, his most recent marriage at age 60, to a 20 year old who looked like Halle Berry. ha! I asked him why the divorces, he said, well, to be honest, I had too many affairs. LOL!! He said he’s been living life too much and that even though he’s made mistakes, his children are the great loves of his life. To which, he imparted child rearing wisdom to  me. It was a fun, lively, and heartfelt conversation, where we showed one another photos of our children, laughed quite a bit, and toasted our beers. He went by Cuco, but he said that was only his name in Costa Rica. No one outside of Montezuma knew he went by that and no one in Montezuma knew his real name! Good times.

We then went to the local pizzeria, ordered a large ham and mushroom pizza and 2 Mexican Cokes to go. We went back to the room, noshed on pizza, practiced poi for 10 minutes, played a round of Mad Libs and passed out!

After all, tomorrow was day 2 of school, a hike to the waterfalls, and a video chat with our girls!!!

Really. No, Really, Really.

Remember back when I talked about wanting to go to Costa Rica earlier in the year? Well, with a wink and a smile and a whole lot of luckwork it’s gonna happen!

Here’s a bit of back story. In my “real” job, you are awarded a 4 week paid sabbatical with each 5 years of service. On May 14th, I celebrated my five year anniversary. What does that mean, “paid sabbatical?” Well, essentially, you are given 4 weeks off to disconnect from your job COMPLETELY, no, actually, you are required to disconnect completely and go to recharge. This has nothing to do with the vacation that you accrue either. It is just the bonus time off given. Five years ago, when I started, the dreaming began. At that time, we didn’t have any children. We had these grand visions of what could be and with each passing year, we added to the list of “maybes.” Oh, and here’s another tidbit you need to know. When my beloved and I were in our pre-marital Engaged Encounter retreat, we heard a statistic that gave validity to the 7 year itch. During that weekend, we made many promises to one another and near the top of the list was have a romantic and extravagant getaway for just the two of us. Guess what! This year is 7 years for us! I don’t really know how it all worked out for it to happen that way, but I’ve never once questioned God’s ultimate plan for things. I’ve always tried my best to go with it. And this…this is God’s grace in action! Instead of taking our entire family, we opted to have a second honeymoon just the two of us. I’m incredibly nervous, anxious, and excited!

After making that posting back in January, Don and I sat down and discussed a plan. I reached out to Rewarding Travel Consultants to see what they could do to help make this dream a reality. It was all really easy. Matter of fact, I threw in some other astronomical goals of taking the entire family to Europe just for safe measure. You know what I received? A comprehensive action plan to get me to where I wanted to go without spending any more each month than I currently do. It was awesome! They are awesome! (Hi Frances! Seriously, you are amazing!!) If you want to do travel, you should definitely check them out! I can’t sing their praises enough.

Anyway, we set the plan in motion. We were able to use miles to book our flights out to Liberia, Costa Rica and all we had to pay was less than $100 in surcharges total!! Wow! We will fly out on Saturday (my actual birthday!!) and grab an SUV and stay the first night at the Borinquen Mountain Resort Spa in Rincon de la Vieja, Guanacaste. Then, on Sunday, we will get up and head over to La Escuela del Sol in Montezuma, Punta Arenas to learn how to surf and poi (fire dance) for a week. We will also do some hiking in waterfalls and ziplining. And yes, I might even cross a rope bridge or two (and maybe pee myself doing it, but hey, at least I will have done it). Exciting stuff!

But wait, there’s more. It isn’t like we could have all of this time without fun with our girls. When we get back, we will take a day to rotate out clothes, do laundry, then we will load up the entire family, including my mother-in-law (her first time to California!) and fly out SoCal. Our first day, we will take the girls to Disneyland. This will be their first trip there. We are only going to be there for the one day, but I think that one day will be plenty. Then, we’ll head on down to San Diego to visit the zoo and have lots and lots of beach time with one of my besties and her family. My folks will fly in to LA and meet up with my MIL and they will stay in Southern California while Don and I head North to an adventure in San Fran (my first ever Giants game, crossing off another stadium!) and Napa (mmm…Vino). We are very blessed to know many people in California and I hope that we get to see many of them while we are there, even if it is just for coffee.

We will get back to see some awesome fireworks at home, then load up the car and go for the great American road trip to Tennessee to visit our family out there. While there, we will visit the Amish country and load up on fresh fruits/veggies and all other sorts of goodness. We will also catch up with our family and enjoy their company.

When we get back, we will have a few days to decompress and be prepared for me to start back refreshed and renewed. I’m more than aware of how unique and wonderful this blessing is for my marriage and for my family. I’m so incredibly humbled by the outpouring of support from our dear friends and family members who juggled their schedules to watch the girls, our house, join us in the fun, and give us prayers and well wishes for our travels.

While gone, I will try to utilize Twitter and Instagram as much as possible. When I have time, I will journal my thoughts and some of them might even make it to this blog. We’ll see.

Alright, so now I’m going to take a deep breath and leap.

Let’s go!

Costa Rica–Guanacaste, Rincon de la Vieja…Hotel Borinquen

It was my 35th birthday. Five years ago, I was on board a party barge, surrounded by my close friends and loved ones. I was growing a month old fetus in my belly, and she is now my spritely 4 year old Sugarbean. I dreamt of this vacation many times.

When the alarm set off, I laid in bed, stretching and feeling my body. Moments later, my phone rang. Per tradition, my Mother and Father’s phone call arrived precisely at 6:18AM. The sang a sleepy, but happy “Happy Birthday to you!” I showered, dressed, and crept down the hall to our sleeping beauties. They were nestled side-by-side, slumbering for the last few hours. I wiped a tear and kissed them both, whispering a about 20 “I love yous” in their resting and perfect ears.

Kent, our friend, was already at our house waiting to give us a ride. (Right, what a friend! To show up at our house before 7AM on a Saturday no less. We are truly blessed!) We hugged Carol and loaded up into the car to be whisked away to DFW.

I sat in the back of his car filled with such high nervous energy. But one by one, the birthday texts began to light up my phone. Then my sister called. All of my loved ones may not have been physically with me like they were five years ago, but they were present and accounted for. I asked Kent to turn up the music and I stared out the window to that place between dreams and memories, his music my gateway. I allowed anxiety to course through my veins, but it was quickly blanketed with all of those thoughts and well wishes.

The four hour plane ride was uneventful. I whiled away the time on Facebook responding to the ample birthday wishes. Once we were far enough from the States, I lost connectivity, then plugged into “The Vow” the movie for the rest of the flight. I had it on the background as I edited the newborn session from the week before.

When we arrived to Costa Rica it was very warm and incredibly humid. Customs was easy enough. The gal actually opened our eyes to a much easier, well-paved drive over. Our new plan was to take Nacional 1 down to Punta Arenas and catch a ferry over to Parquera. The trip should take about 4 hours.

When we left the immediate airport area, we weren’t assaulted by vendors and taxis. Yes, they were there, but it seemed they were already assigned to others who would be arriving. At the car rental, we were upgraded to a Nissan Hi-Trail 4-wheel drive, instead of the smaller Kia Sport. He emphasized the tires, letting us know they were very good and would be helpful!

This ended up being a very good thing. Our journey over to our hotel consisted of some paved roads and another several that were washed out paved roads, very bumpy, with potholes the size of tiny kiddie pools. During that trip, we saw 2 chickens, crossing the road, lots of people on bicycles, dogs, lizards, and a couple of vaqueros riding their horses. They share the road here! We drove along the mountainside, climbing up the volcano. I was white knuckled much of the way, clutching the map and nervously giggling, trying to calm my fears. No, there weren’t any guard rails, not that it would have mattered.

I conjured up enough guts to look out the window and I was rewarded with the greenest, most lush valley I’ve ever seen. There here heads of cattle and horses sprinkled here and there. It was absolutely breathtaking!

As the road curved and winded closer to the hotel, we saw signs for another resort adjacent to ours that was full of adventurous things. Horseback riding, ziplining, ATVs…all sorts of fun, all eco-friendly. Then, the road changed from paved to well-laid brick. We drove up to the reception, where they directed us to the parking area. Everything is vibrantly green, and birds and howler monkeys serenade us in the distance.

We were greeted with fruit juices made with strawberry, watermelon, and apple juice. (Yeah, I know, I actually drank watermelon juice and liked it!) Ricardo, a day-shift worker, shuttled us to our Junior Suite (actually, a fancy-fancy villa) 6 at the top of the resort! The room smells of cedar and has a sitting area, the master suite, and a bathroom the size of our bedroom! It had a two person jacuzzi tub and a walk-in shower the size of an apartment kitchen! Our villa overlooks the lush green valley and we can see the steam rising in the distance from the natural hot springs. Water trickles down the makeshift gutter from the freshly fallen downpour. It’s all so very natural and so, so, so clean!!

We walked down the steeper than steep paved hill to the bottom where the restaurant was located. It was a wide open space, intimately lit and we quickly became the only customers. At first, I thought it was because it was much too late for lunch (already nearing 4PM), but actually, there weren’t many people staying at the resort. It just lended itself to the exclusive “fanciness” of this stay. We ordered a mojito, a capirinha, hearts of palm salad, arroz de la abuela (chicken and rice, sofrito style), traditional Costa Rican meal of tenderloin, potatoes, with rice and beans. To start, they brought us a plate of cheese and fried cheese with a corn tortilla. That capirinha was tequila, vodka, and muddled limes. Not the greatest, but it would do!

Once we were finished eating, we called the carrito (golf cart) to take us back to the suite. We lingered for a bit, food drunk. Then, we got up, changed clothes, called the carrito and had it drive us down to the sauna, naturally heated pools, and mud bath. The sauna was a short walk from where we were dropped off, but it wasn’t it. Honestly, it looked quite menacing in the dark with the smoke billowing out of the wooden box. *skip* Then, we walked past the tranquil pool to the naturally heated pools. Before we took a soak, we went to the mud baths and covered ourselves with mud. We let it dry, then washed off in the adjacent outdoor showers. On our way to the shower, we saw the largest free-roaming toad I’ve ever seen in my life. Don mentioned a possibility of it being poisonous and I immediately kept clear of the toad. We then walked over to the heated pools and wow, were they hot!!! The one we got in was 96.8. When I was submerged from the chin down, a downpour began to dump on us. I just sat there grinning happily. My entire body was relaxed!

We lingered for a bit chatting with an older couple who couldn’t say enough great things about Memphis, B.B. King, and all things guitar. The dude was HAMMERED! But they were great conversationalists! Our bodies were jelly, but we walked over to the reception area and hitched a ride on a carrito back to the suite. We cleaned off and went to dinner. This time, Don had a sauvignon blanc, I stuck with water. We ate sea bass with tomato, olives, and capers with asparagus and mashed potatoes, grilled chicken with a blue cheese sauce, asparagus wrapped in bacon, and grilled vegetables. Our server brought out a tres leches cake with a blue cherry that had been soaked in blue curacao! It also had a candle on it and the waiter serenaded me for my birthday!

That evening, I soaked in the jacuzzi with a bath bomb before sleeping soundly without interruption for 9 hours straight! What a great birthday indeed!!

*if you would like to see pictures, I would suggest you follow me on twitter.com/biasia I’m posting images there via Instagram. You can also follow me there as HelloMrsBianca.

Costa Rica–The Adventure to Montezuma

It was Father’s day and the first time ever that I was unable to talk with my father. It was a bit tough to swallow, but I did my best to concentrate on the amazing things surrounding me. I’d gotten up early to catch the end of the sunrise and journal some thoughts while I enjoyed some coffee overlooking the vast valley from our balcony. it was also my friend Gen’s birthday and having coffee outdoors is something she enjoys and so with each sip, I said a silent prayer for her.

Don and I took the carrito down for the last time to the restaurant. We loaded up on breakfast. Two coffees, banana pancakes, 2 eggs with hashbrowns, and traditional Costa Rican breakfast. That was probably the best Americano coffee I’ve ever had. It was so good, I had almost 3 cups.

Anyway, we bid adieu to our little romantic getaway and prepared ourselves for not only a journey, but another location that would be a bit above camping. A far cry from the luxury resort we just left. ha ha! Let me break it down for you:

We were going to travel from Liberia, south about 190 kilometers (gotta love the metric system) or 118 miles to Punta Arenas. From there, we will have to hop on a ferry with our car and travel an hour and a half to Parquera/Tambor. From there, we were to travel another 60 kilometers or 30 miles to get to Montezuma. We were told the trip to Punta Arenas would be about 2 hours and the drive over to Montezuma would be about an hour.

We left Liberia at 1PM. Sure enough, it took us about two hours to get to Punta Arenas. The road was well-paved, but because it was only one lane on each side, you were at the mercy of the slower lead cars. There were many, many times it was too difficult to pass. The drive over was filled with pleasant conversation. Great conversations was one of the reasons why I fell in love with Don, early on. We were both feeling quite content with the trip! And then, just as we were approaching the ferry, an older teenager jumped in front of our vehicle with a ferry sign. He proceeded to force feed us information about the ferry and where we were going, tips and tricks, that sort of thing. Then gave us a sob story about how this is his job to work in the heat giving information and that he wanted the 10000 colones for the time. We had yet to convert currency, so he jumped into the rental and navigated us over to a bank to exchange dollars. Then, when we finally got back to drop him off, he said, ok, 10000 colones…each! I just said, whatever and shrugged him off. We handed over the bills and afterwards, Don leaned over to me and let me know we just paid the guy $40. Then there it was, that nasty pit in my tummy. It could’ve been worse, right? Lesson learned, but it doesn’t feel great to be taken advantage of.

We had an hour to kill and found a steak taqueria to enjoy a quick lunch. Our server was an older gentleman from the Dominican. He was feisty and I liked that. I’d recounted the story of what had just happened to us and I could tell that he was physically getting a bad taste in his mouth. He was doing this grimace with a spit motion. I dunno, he was getting upset. He went on to tell me how in his 10 years of living in Costa Rica, he, himself has had similar experiences. But then he made a scrappy-fighter gesture, gesticulating heavily as if to say, “don’t mess with me, you don’t want none of this.” And that was the end of the story. I was slightly rejuvenated in my spirit.

We finished lunch, hearts of palm salad and fried yucca for me and grilled chicken, beans, tortillas, and fried plantain for Don. We went to the ferry, waited in line for a ticket, walked to the office to pay for the ticket, then drove the car into the hold of the ferry. We walked up to the sun deck to watch the journey.

While there, a small framed German girl sat next to me and we struck up a conversation. I’d seen her hop out of a tourism bus labeled as Montezuma. Turns out, her name is Klaudia and she is from Germany, living in LA studying to be a journalist. She will be staying at La Escuela del Sol for a month to learn how to surf and speak Spanish. In a few ways, she reminded me of our friend Toch, back home. Any way, there we sat, taking in the beauty of it all. We neared the port and while they were docking the ferry, the downpour began.

At this point, Don and I had to split up since they only allowed the drivers with the vehicle. I carefully climbed the two flights of stairs down in the rain, ever so grateful to my sister for giving us a wetbag to keep my cellphone and documents dry. I stood shivering in the holding area for about 10 minutes until Don appeared. Then it was chaos! With a strong prayer, we set on our journey, following a bus because well, it seemed it knew what to do. I remembered the boy mentioning going left when we came off the ferry, the same direction as the bus. In that downpour, we snaked along this incredibly winding road for about 15 kilometers before the bus pulled over and we had to keep pressing on. We knew we were going the right direction by the signs, until we came upon a set that didn’t have Montezuma listed. But, it did say Cobano and Don remembered the boy mentioning us to take a left to Montezuma from Cobano. So we pressed on in that direction. The rain had slowed to a trickle, but the road was effectively one and a half lanes. I said aloud, I miss lines painted on the road. I miss street lights. I miss reflectors. I miss sidewalks (because there were SOOOO many people and dogs walking in the middle of the road…at night…in the rain…in the pitch black). My hands were gripping the handle so tightly, they were cramping. My right leg stretched out, bracing myself. It wasn’t that Don was driving so fast, it was that the turns were so sharp and I wasn’t sure which side was the coast and which side may or may not be a valley for us to roll down. Again, no guard rails. I get anxiety just thinking about it all over again.

I kept counting down the kilometers from the odometer. I tried to relax a bit, but most of the relaxation came when the English music station played a song I was familiar with. I sang along and was distracted long enough for us to reach Cobano. Just 7 short kilometers to Montezuma. They were having some sort of festival/party in Cobano and on any other day we would have stopped. We kept going to Montezuma. After wandering around for about 10 minutes, we stopped and asked some locals for help. We found the spot and were so happy to be in our room. It was 10 minutes before 8PM. At 8PM is when Empanadas y Amigos welcome orientation began. We dined on the empanadas, said some hellos, listened to the information, and went back to the room. We settled in for a long day that began at 8:15 with Poi and Surfing at noon.

We were supposed to stay at the school until Sunday morning, but after that journey, we elected to forego that stay and head back closer to Liberia on Saturday. We just couldn’t chance missing our flight.

That night, we slept soundly as the rains continued to pour down for the next several hours.

Costa Rica–Hiking Day, the waterfalls, surfing, poi, and Video Chat

I awoke and greeted my day feeling tight, but not sore. Don was still sleeping. We actually fought over the covers when I got back from using the bathroom. It was funny, actually. *giggle* I leaned over, kissed him, got dressed and headed down back to The Bakery Café for my morning coffee. He wanted to sleep in, and I didn’t mind having some time to reflect on things.

You see, the thing about being down here is that I’m afforded time to delve deeply into myself and really think about things. Often, I’m in such a rush, making lists, juggling so many things! It’s like I handed over all of the balls I’d been juggling and stepped away for a break. It is quite refreshing. It is also a bit unnerving because I’m constantly paranoid about forgetting something. With each passing day, though, I’m letting go of it more and more. I’m more in tune with my body. I’ve not been completely vegetarian on this trip. More often than not, though, I have been. But in the evenings, I’ve had some animals. It’s ok. I’m still feeling good and not feeling heavily weighed down! Like I said, no juggling. Just thinking, relaxing, and doing a giant EXHALE.

I wrote for awhile until my breakfast was ready. I nibbled it up, sipped on coffee, worked out the kinks with Skype, because tonight, we were going to talk with the girls and I wanted to be sure everything worked like it was supposed to! Don joined me and we had 15 minutes until Poi class started. I crossed the street to the bookstore and talked with the lady from Connecticut who owned the shop. I handed over my postcards, paid her the postage, and just like that, they were “mailed'” and on their way to their destinations! I crossed the street again, went up to the table, grabbed my bag, then headed over to class.

Today, I had to focus on working on my forward and reverse figure 8s, doing a basic butterfly maneuver, and keeping my head straight, instead of lowering my chin. Over and over in my head, split time, legs apart, and….SMILE. I whacked myself a few more times today than the first day, but that meant that I was actually taking many more chances with my poi. This made me feel good. We also had a new classmate join us, Leah. She’d been taking classes before, and decided to start up. She has extended her original stay from 1 month to another month. Apparently, this is quite common down here. We have to get back and can’t stay another week!

After an hour and a half of dancing and twirling the practice poi, we had to head back up to the room, to change clothes because it was time to go to the waterfalls. They said it was about a half an hour hike to get there and to wear hiking shoes. The locals, Pablo and Edgar, were in flip flops. We hiked and hiked and hiked until we got there. When I say we hiked, I meant we HIKED! Over tree roots, on top of rocks, around rocks, rock climbing, balancing on a tired, worn out old rope against the boulder, through mud, until…..there it was! This beautiful waterfall, and only 4 other people were there. Granted, as we walked up, the middle aged woman was stripping off her top and yanked off her undies. I threw Pablo a look like, um…are we SUPPOSED to get naked? (I’ve not ever been skinny dipping and I supposed now was as good a time as any to do it.) He grinned and told me that I didn’t have to, unless I wanted to. I didn’t want to, just yet. ha ha! Instead, I took a dip in the cool, refreshing waters, swam to the waterfalls with Don and let nature wash my crazy, wild hair! We hung around there for a bit, then swam back, dried off and made the trek back.

Good thing too, because it was time for surfing! We ran up, grabbed our rash guards, made a quick snack of tortillas with avocado, then headed out to Playa Grande. We had to hoof this leg of our hike because we were 20 minutes late! This terrain, similar to the one to the waterfalls, is not for anyone out of shape. Lots of hills to climb, rocky beaches, beaches with shells, soft beaches, mud, and rocky terrain. Not as dangerous as the other, but a solid hike, and definitely a workout. I don’t think I’ve ever sweated this much in my entire life and I’m not one to really sweat!

Just like before, we went to the turtle sanctuary, dropped off our personal belongings, I grabbed Surf Betty and began to comb and wax her up. She’s a monster, and I had to carry her solo out to the beach. Truthfully, I was winded with that small hike, nearly 400 meters. Then, I got into the water. It is warm just like yesterday, but the waves are much bigger. The current, where we were surfing met coming from two different directions. This day was gonna do something, that’s for sure!

This time, I was was Gee-jay (short for Guillermo). Don had been promoted to the advanced class (no surprise). Geejay was determined to get me up. I’d paddle, I’d push up, and only get to my knees. Then, he sternly coached me, breaking down the mechanics of it all. Refusing to let me use my knees any more. He said, only get on the board if you pop up. No more knees. Unacceptable, Bianca. Don’t take shortcuts! If you know me, you know that’s the kind of coaching I respond to. It’s harsh, but for whatever reason, it works. Then he said something that made sense, pop up like you are jumping high. I said, like I’m jumping on a tall box? A really big box, like 3 feet high? Yes! Exactly! So I did just that and that, my friends, is the first time I was up on a board riding a wave.

The next time, he said, now concentrate on legs apart, they were too close together. And don’t walk on the board, it is very dangerous! (I’ve been watching too many surf videos with people who do their walks on the board. Meanwhile, down the beach, Don was rocking his waves and Pablo was surfing a wave while doing a headstand!! Nevermind the ear infection he’s had since last week! Crazy guy!) I rode two more solid waves for a little bit and I was quite pleased. I was rocked a couple of times, but for the most part, I had much success. I was very, very happy. I have to admit, I actually wore a bikini! The thing about Costa Rica, no one cares. I was actually encouraged to buy and wear a much teenier bikini. Don was nodding his head yes, but I don’t know if I am that brave. “Welcome to Latin America” is what they responded when I said, “but it is so small!!”

After we were done for the day, the tide was coming in much quicker than before. We were very lucky because it hasn’t rained since the evening before. Had it rained, we would not have been able to go to the waterfalls. Also, because it hasn’t rained, the sun has broken through more because there aren’t clouds to filter it. Seeing the sunlight through the jungle really is quite incredible!! On the hike back, I noticed an entire colony of crabs!! It was awesome! Next time, I’m totally going to take a photo. These crabs were brilliantly colored red and blue and they were the size of a small child’s fist.

As with all of my walks, I’ve been putting flowers in my hair. It’s been fun. I nearly lost my traveling rock and my water bottle when the water rushed in. Luckily, I clutched my rock and my water bottle was found about 10 steps away from where I was standing, once the water receded. Also, on the path, there are many white and purple flowers. It’s like walking down the aisle on your wedding day. I feel fancy each time I walk over them. Oh, and there are always a million different colored butterflies on our path, not as many lizards of varying sizes, and a couple of monkeys. Oh and birds, although, we only hear them, don’t see them. Today, in the surf shed, I saw a bat! ha!

When we got back to the room, I willingly took a cold shower and I liked it! That’s how hot and sweaty I was. We are sure to stay plenty hydrated! I also spent some time french braiding my hair. It’s been unruly, so I wanted to try something new. I have 4 french braids in my hair, then I joined the two on each side into a larger stacked braid. Right now I have what appears to be two french braids, but they are really 4. I hope it holds up. I like it out of my face.

After we were cleaned up, we had a phone call from our family. Skype, unfortunately, was unavailable, so we used Tango on our phone. It isn’t as great of a connection as Skype, but we did get to see and talk to our girls for a little while. We even got to sing to Mari! Gosh, we miss our Sugarbean and Sugarbaby something crazy!!

After the phone/video chat, we needed food! We went to Sano Banano and noshed ourselves food drunk. Iced tea (Costa Rican style) and pineapple/mango smoothie for starters, Vegetarian quesadillas for an appetizer, Chicken Curry & Pollo Casado, finished off with warm chocolate cake. Yum! We could’ve stayed for the show 2 Nights in Paris for free, but we wanted to go back to the room.

First we stopped at the market to pick up some diaper cream or zinc oxide for Don because the sun has not been his friend! We also got some more tortillas and avocados, and a bit of baby oil to massage out the knots in our bodies. We both have lots of bruises on our bodies. I have a gnarly one on my left knee, and a scuff on my right foot. Don has a rash where his ribs protrude. He has a rash guard, but it isn’t enough. Worth it, though. You can say we are bonafide surfers now. He’s better than I am, but I’m just glad to be called a surfer instead of a knee boarder. ha!

We chatted up our classmates a bit and prepared ourselves for another day. We are nearing the halfway point in our trip.

Awkward & Awesome

In honor of my girl E's Awkward & Awesome, I elected to participate because I'm not fully prepared to publish my drafted blog (which has been in draft mode for at least a week now. eeek!).

AWKWARD

1. Creeping Around in the Dark: Dropping my credit card in the drive-thru and being paranoid it fell out of the car, so then I was crawling around a strangers truck in search of it while scaring the bejeezus out of the drive-thru worker.
2. Scared in the Dark: Coming home and realizing the back door was not only unlocked, but inching open. I was alone with my girls searching my house and when I came to the hall bath, and the shower curtain was closed, I was too scared to check behind it. I pretended I was yelling something to my husband, then ran off to grab a knife. Such a 'fraidy cat!
3. Stiff Neck: Cuddling all night with a baby is awesome, but then when you wake up in the morning after several nights in the same position without proper neck support, you walk around with your head partially tilted to the side and you suddenly become an ambi-turner.
4. Waxed Figure: While getting waxed, hearing strange men holler and yell immediately outside of where you are getting serviced is a bit unsettling. 
5. Don't be Flaky: Having to cancel a date night because our sitter and back up sitter weren't available. 
6. Amorous Dolls: Catching Pierre and Coco (Mari's new Barbie's) kissing quite a bit. I appreciate the love they have, but they need to simmer down. We now have a wedding scheduled for the dolls. This means I need to sew a wedding dress and some dressy board shorts for it. Tell me I'm not the first parent to experience this.

AWESOME...or as I like to think of it, #WINNING

1. Family Visit: Booking a flight for my Grandmother to come for a visit around Easter. This will be the first time in 15 years that she's made such a big journey. To say I'm ecstatic is an understatement! We will also be celebrating Tesla's 1st birthday that weekend, too!
2. Vacation Had to Get Away: Getting serious about the travel miles/points game so we can make our second honeymoon to Costa Rica a reality! (also booking our family trip to Michigan for our good friends' wedding in August)
3. Double Family Date Night: When we couldn't get the sitter, we opted to go out as a family instead. We met up with friends for ice cream and had a grand ol' time!
4. Mid to high 70 degree weather: iced coffees, runs around the neighborhood, kids playing at the park, & walking into a home that is cooler in temp than it is outside.
5. Standing Firm: Tesla standing on her very own without assistance. Not just that, but pulling up to standing on her own.
6. She's Like the Wind: Watching Mari run like the wind on our family jogs. She can run a full on sprint for nearly a quarter mile. For those of you who are runners, she goes at about an 8:15 minute a mile pace for that short burst. 
7. Boba-Boba-Boba: Actually, this goes out to the Nappy Shoppe and their staff, too. I purchased a new 3G Boba Carrier and it is AWESOME so far! I more detailed review to come, but wow. I'm in love so far. Mari likes it. Tesla likes it. We all think it is mighty nifty.

I'd like to think I had more #winning, but these were the highlights and I don't want to gloat. 

Here's to hoping you all had more awesome than awkward! Cheers!

Turning Goals Into Dreams

A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.

I don't just want to talk about it in concept. I want to put it down here so it is real. I want to make it a reality. This summer, I'm gonna learn how to surf. I've been surfing before and folks, it wasn't pretty. I'm not sure you could call what I did surfing, but I was out there on the North Shore doing my best. I tried my hand at it again when out in California. And now, well now, with the support of my husband, we are going to go on a family adventure to Costa Rica and learn how to surf! 

Of course, we are going to enjoy the beautiful scenery there. Take in a few zip line tours and conquer my fear of heights by crossing bridges like this one. Oh yes, I want to feel that excitement!

I want to go deep sea fishing. I've never done that. Seems like something invigorating thing to do. I want to dig my toes in the sand and build a ridiculous sand castle with my daughters. I want to have lazy days, get an obscene tan, eat well, and if I'm lucky, really, really lucky I'll not only get to do all those thing with my beloved and daughters, but MAYBE, just maybe I'll get to do them with more of my family and some of my friends. 

What are your dreams? Will those dreams become goals? 

Dreams Coming True

For 30 years I’ve had this dream to walk into Yankee Stadium and feel the mystique that surrounds all the history of this well beloved franchise.

You see, when I was a little girl, I had two passions in my life: baseball and fashion design. I was a Texas Rangers fan (duh, I’m a Texas gal and I spent some time living in the Dallas area when I was a kiddo), a fan of the Dodgers (my great uncle Phil played with them a long time ago), and much to my father’s dismay, the New York Yankees. As soon as I saw that classic blue and white color scheme, paired with pinstripes…well, I was in love! That high level attention to detail…and they had the market cornered on style!

I made several trips over the years to Chavez Ravine. Each game holds special memories, especially the one where the promotion item was a crazy blue haired wig and we watched Eric Gagne come in and close it out “Game Over.”

Many of our summers were spent at the Ballpark in Arlington, several of those games were played against former Rangers who’d “graduated” to the Bronx Bombers. When I watched Finding Forrester, there was a scene where they walk on to the ballfield. I had tears in my eyes.

Back in 2002, I made my first visit to New York. The Yanks weren’t in town playing. I’ve since been back many times and each visit, they hadn’t been in town. But, as fate would have it, on this journey, they were in town. I’d reached out to a colleague for inside assistance with regards of best tickets for my money. If there existed such a person who knew the ins and outs to Yankee stadium, he was the man. He has a vast knowledge of all things Yankees. I really wanted to have the absolute best experience I could have within our budget. But like I said, fate. He did me one better. He’d gotten tickets for us behind homeplate less than 30 rows up in Yankee Stadium! The universe was singing to me and I heard it loud and clear, “Happy Birthday, Bianca!!!”

****

Let me back up a bit. Cinco de Mayo this year, I spent back home in Lubbock at my parent’s home. This was the first time during our marriage where we didn’t celebrate it together. The purpose of the celebrations had become even greater since we honeymooned over it seven years ago. During our honeymoon, we promised we would toast and honor the celebration…and fall in love all over again. Being apart from by beloved took an even greater toll than I was expecting. That evening before bed, he and I were texting a bit while I watched a movie. Once of his texts was so cryptic that I just picked up the phone and called him. It was during that conversation that he surprised me and told me that he’d booked a plane ticket to accompany me on my business trip. He’d rocked my world with that news and I went from being a sobbing melancholy mess to a sobbing elated HOT mess.

Together, we’d coordinated our mother’s to watch our girls and the second honeymoon was starting earlier than planned. What? Yeah, we’d already planned on going to Costa Rica for a second honeymoon, where again, our mother’s would watch our girls. We are BEYOND blessed that they could accommodate us and more than that, they were willing to. What a generous gift, right? And a very special one for our girls, as well.

*****

While in New York, our dance card was full with dates with dear friends and some family! Hopefully, I can write about some of our other experiences. Anyway, on Yankee day, June 7, I had a regular meeting-filled day at the office. By the afternoon, I needed a java pick-me-up. Don had been playing at the Museum of Natural History and was on his way back. We decided to meet up at the Apple Store and we walked over to Trump off of 5th Avenue to the nearest Starbucks. We picked up our coffees and strolled back amongst the tourists, which were plentiful.They then parted to reveal a photographer and a model who were re-enacting the Breakfast at Tiffany’s scene sans the Givenchy dress, but definitely an elegant French twist and a bagel. I made a head motion to the door and he affirmatively shrugged. In we went! This was my first visit to that infamous store. I’d previously told him of my desire of a bauble from there specifically one designed by Frank Gehry. While luxurious and sophisticated, it was never something within our budget. But today…well that day was about magic! We went to the third floor to the silver floor. We walked around almost the entire floor looking for Frank Gehry’s section. I’d just about given up when a friendly sales lady greeted us. I wasn’t yet dedicated to making a purchase. I wanted it to be a matter of chance and fate. I casually dismissed her and as she turned away, I spotted the micro ring, torque design by this famous architect, which is a direct connection to my father. (He’d studied architecture in college and some of that still lingered and rubbed off on me.) I quickly called the sales lady back, moments after our previous conversation, and requested to see the ring. She was surprised that it was tucked behind a necklace and was happy that I’d spotted it. She said it was a favorite of hers. I was going to pass off that remark as “sales speak” when I spotted that very ring on her middle finger, only in gold. I took it as a sign. I slipped on the display model and it fit, only it was a bit loose. Instead, she’d opened a brand new one, size 5.5, and it slipped right on. “It should slide on, but be a slight bit snug at the knuckle.” It was for this reason that I had lost two of my gold “Tesla” bands. Losing them saddened me, and I realized I'd gotten rings too large. I wanted a replacement. I gave Don an eyebrow raise and he nodded, so we bought it! She insisted I give it back to her. She wrapped it up, even though I wanted to wear it. “It’s just a little something for you to open later. Happy birthday!” I walked back to my office carrying that beautifully wrapped box, inside that small blue bag. That moment, it represented so many things and well…the obvious being an entire weekend’s worth of part-time work for Don to afford it. Him giving his time…happily exchanging his time (something you can’t ever put a price on) for me. **marinate on that thought for a moment…when was the last time you paused and thought about the time given for you, not money, but time** That moment also represented the abstract of fulfilling that young girl’s dream of going to Tiffany and Co. and having her beloved buy her a special trinket from the world’s idea of supreme luxury since the 1800s, signifying his affections. Being a part of that long standing history, seems a bit against my idea of being unique and different, but we all have our things that for whatever reason, we and hold on to. I know how very, very special that was. For some it may be a regular thing, but not many. For me, this was truly a special moment I will never forget.

So that’s how I got a Tiffany box on my coffee run. I had visions of returning to New York with my girls and taking them to Tiffany and Co for bagel breakfasts and procuring trinkets to mark the occasion.

That evening, we rode the subway over to Yankee Stadium. It had started to sprinkle on the way there. By the time we arrived, it was pouring. I didn’t have an umbrella. I had faith. After walking down the platform, we poured out into the street and the rain had slowed to a sprinkle. We stood under an awning awaiting the rest of our party when the sun broke through. The slow fat rain drops danced in the sun. In the opposite direction a double rainbow with the most amazing violets (my favorite color) I’ve ever seen on a rainbow, let alone two rainbows!!! I love how my amiga put it, “Loved ones watching over you.”

And that’s where it comes full circle. My loved ones. The ones who influenced me from so long ago, who inspired my dreams. There they were, with me in my heart. Happily smiling as they witnessed my dreams coming true. BOOM! Happy.

um…yeah, let’s catch up

Remember when I said I was gonna try to put more words down and be more vigilant about making time to write? um…yeah I’ve been busy. If you are a friend on Instagram, then you’d have a clue what I’ve been up to. For the rest of you, here’s a brief recap:

Last we talked, it was the first of the month and I’d just gone to a concert. Well, since then…
I traveled to good ol’ Lubbock to do some maternity portraits, a baby shower, and attended my first ever Christian Rock concert (loved that they had the lyrics on the big screen so you could sing along!



I also caught my first baseball game of the season. Later than normal for me for me to go, but it was a wonderful surprise from my husband! Despite the loss, it was still a great game.


I also had a me-party day where I treated myself to a blow-out (where I got to see The Notebook uninterrupted while sipping a super yummy mimosa), met up with a girlfriend for manis/pedis (and more yummy mimosas!), then headed out to the Byron Nelson golf tournament for a late lunch and laughs.

This group of people will brighten any mood and make your sides sore for days with all of the laughter. Who needs a workout video when you can hang with them?

Also, I headed up to Rochester, NY for one of my oldest friends’ wedding. It was such a nice and lovely wedding. I was glad I was able to travel up there and stand up alongside him for such a memorable occasion. I kept thinking to myself, daaang, when did we grow up??

 

And I have to say, how awesome are weddings? Not only for that nice jolt of lovey-dovey LOVE, but meeting new people and making friends with them. I was lucky enough to make a new friend who offered up a room in her home for my stay while there!! (everyone there was so welcoming and amazing, I’m highly endorsing Rochester as a place to visit, folks!) On the morning of the wedding, I’d gotten up to go for a quick 5K. I got to see so much green beauty on my run and it was a refreshing 49 degrees at 6AM. When I returned, I tried to be a good house guest and whipped us up some scrambled eggs with spinach. We also had amazing toast, yogurt with cereal, and some delicious flavored bread! We dined al fresco and it was heavenly!! (Thanks Jules!!)

Because I wasn’t busy enough, as soon as I landed from my trip, I took a power nap, then dolled myself up because it was my turn to surprise my husband. I’d gotten us tickets to see Green Day’s American Idiot at the Winspear and we’d made a complete date out of it. We went to eat at The Porch, had some libations at Veritas, popped in to the show at the Winspear, then finished the night at Union Bear. WHAT??? I know, it’s like we had free babysitting or something. Well, we did, thanks to my mother-in-law, who watched our girls on her birthday!! Amazing!
We like to dance where ever we are, whether in a wine bar (Al Green) or on a scenic balcony (singing Fly Me to the Moon).

Whew…busy! Oh, and we went to a vodka tasting with friends and capped the night off eating some raw oysters! Yum!! Best part was introducing friends to the wonderfulness that is a delicious raw oyster. Nothing like a bit of vodka and lots of horseradish to get someone to try new things, ‘eh? (I think it had more to do with the vodka, but whatever.) But how can you resist this awesomeness? I'm salivating looking at 'em!

So yeah, that’s been my life in a nutshell. Busy, busy, busy. You know what, friends? It’s about to get even busier! I head out to NYC in 10 days, then we’ll be in ol’ Costa Rica in 3 weeks, followed by a visit out to California, then Tennessee. During that time, I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging in real time, but I will have my trusty journal, writing down the adventures; doing it up old school style with ink and paper. Usually when I travel, I'm often hit with nostalgia and feel the need to document times that have long since have passed, as well. This is very cathartic for me as it allows for fresh perspective on any lingering thoughts that aren't necessarily at the forefront of my brain.

But even before that, it’s June 1 and y’all know what that means…

THE BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

Clean Eating & Health

There is so much information out there, it seems pointless for me to write down my own thoughts, but I will tell my story and what I have done differently. Whew...this will take a lot of courage to be this honest.

This was me, January 1, 2010. I weighed about 185 pounds and wore a size 14. I was happy that was back down into the 180s because I'd been teetering in the 190s. I hadn't really done a whole lot of regular exercise. I'd gone into a funk of sorts. IF I ran a mile, it would've just been one or two and I would probably taken 12 minutes to do each one. Not a bad time, but not a time that I knew I could achieve. I became pregnant with Tesla later on this year.

This is me on February 16, 2013. I weigh 160 pounds and wear a size 10/12. I'm training for a half marathon. I'd like to finish it without injury with an average pace around 10 minutes each mile. I also want to be able to do 25 good unassisted pushups. I can do 6 really, really good ones right now.

I'm not a tiny person. I never have been. I am 5'7" (and 3/4 inches...those matter!). I have always been athletic. As far as clothing is concerned, I've worn at least a size 10 since I was a Freshman in high school. In high school, I also weighed 145 lbs. My ultimate (never thought I'd ever reach it) goal weight is 155. I can't believe I'm this close! Also, I'm not obsessed with weight. My biggest objective is to be healthy. On the surface, I measure my health by my legs and back. I carry a lot of my extra weight in my belly area. I had a lovely, squishy pansa! No doubt because of all of the heavy fat, sugar, and processed foods I'd consumed.

January of last year, I wanted a dramatic change. My friend started eating a vegetarian diet and I saw changes. For years I'd read stories of celebrities who had eaten only vegetables and their bodies were lean. I gave myself a challenge, to see if I could do it and also to see if there would be any dramatic changes. There were!

And then I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, Food Inc., and Forks Over Knives. My thinking shifted. I wasn't just going to limit myself to this 6 weeks of no animal eating diet. Because quite frankly, I was just eating salads and breakfast foods. I needed to make a dramatic lifestyle change and embrace what my husband had been telling me.

I was worried with how expensive it would be, but then I considered medical bills and the cost of clothes, my overall quality of life and unhappiness with how I felt about my image. I NEEDED to make this investment into my family. Immediately, anything with high fructose corn syrup or corn sugar was tossed in the trash. (That stuff is in EVERYTHING!) Also, no more white flour breads or pastas. Everything had to be whole wheat. No unbleached flour at all. No more foods with ingredients I couldn't pronounce. No more instant meals from the frozen food aisle. No more canned vegetables. Everything was fresh. I went back to basics. Regular sugar, real butter, organic milk, fresh (in-season) vegetables, and as much locally sourced foods as possible. We ate more diverse foods and the Asian markets, as well as, Bountiful Baskets, became our best friends. We saved quite a bit on our budget from eating animals, but similarly, we spent more because we were eating fresh foods. Likewise, in the weeks where I didn't meal plan, we spent money going out to eat because the issue with cooking foods is that you have to prepare it!

And then I started running again. I was regularly running 2-3 miles twice a week. I didn't take any supplements. I didn't drink any protein shakes. I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly. I also still drank a glass of wine with my meals twice a week. Since we are being honest, I would drink a few shots of tequila or a couple vodka sodas once a week (on average) when socializing.

Then, we went to Costa Rica. I witnessed first hand what it meant to have fresh fruits and vegetables. I was also struck with the sheer volume of waste, we as humans produce. I saw it washed ashore onto those beautiful beaches. I went to the market and made some of our lunches while we were there and realized that I could continue to be creative and eat just as healthily. I didn't have to be so limiting, I just needed to continue to keep the processed junk out.

This is where it is tough. I grew up with processed foods. I grew up with convenient foods. I was well aware of frozen meals and how to fix them. I also knew the food offered in them was far tastier than the hamburger helper I would make. Hamburger Helper is pretty good in its own right, too, though! But it should be. When I read the ingredients on the back, I noticed that those that were all chemical-y sounding were engineered to get me to crave them and want more. The New York Times recently had an article on this Extraordinary Science. (long read, but well worth it) It is so difficult to make a change in your life when you have so much against you. You want to gather and socialize with friends, but at the same time, if you go out to eat, you don't know where they get their ingredients or what they put in the food. You don't want to have to second guess each mouthful, but you do. You don't know how it will affect you in the long run.

This isn't to say that we don't go out to eat. This also isn't to say we NEVER eat fast food. This also isn't to say I never eat animals, after all, I call myself the Worst Vegetarian Ever. I do make it a point that when I do eat them, I know it is of the highest quality ingredients and I've tried to know where they come from. I also only eat animals (or something with a face), once a week. I still use butter. I still use milk when I cook. I also use white sugar when I bake. I try to make better decisions. Instead of McDonald's, we choose Chipotle. In stead of fried chicken, we opt for baked or grilled. Steel cut oats instead of instant oatmeal. Small changes in the right direction that yield greater results. READ THE LABELS...see how many calories you are consuming and see the ingredients you are putting in your body. If you can't pronounce it or don't know how it'll affect you, you probably shouldn't put it in your body.

My face is cleaner and brighter. My allergies have subsided. In the year when they were at an all time high and everyone around me was affected by them, I was sneeze free. My lactose intolerance isn't as bad as it was, especially with Organic Whole Milk (Central Market offers Moo Mondays, where milk is half off, yes, even organic milk w/o antibiotics in it). I continue to have good blood pressure and an excellent resting heart rate. My energy levels are higher.

The down side? I still very much want a fast food hamburger. There are times where a Marie Callender's fettucine alfredo microwave meal and chocolate cake sound amazing. I also want to indulge in a Braum's Black Forest sundae. I crave these foods. Also, eating all of vegetables, you system becomes more regular. Yeah, I poop more than I used to. I'm not constipated, but I do go more. For the record, I don't like pooping. It isn't that I don't like going in public, I just don't like going to do that at all. My own issue, I own it. There are times where I go hungry. The right food may not be available for me to eat, so I just won't. I'll have water instead. Then I get grumpy.

All this to say, you find balance. You find what works for you, but you have to be willing to make a big change if you want a change. You can't expect to take a pill or drink a special drink and think that you will suddenly be healthy. Make real goals for yourself. Read labels and most of all, keep going! Keep trying. Forgive yourself if you slip up. It's ok. Just start again.

Good luck!

11...would be my favorite number if 13 wasn't already my favorite

I was tagged by my blogging buddy, E, to do this list. I didn't have anything ready to post (must finish uploading photos), so this will take the place of my Random Monday post. 


First, I need to share the rules with you.  These are very important...
1) You must post these rules. 
2) Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog. 
3) Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer. 
4) You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post. 
5) Go to their page and tell them you linked him or her. 
6) No tag backs.
7) No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You have to legitimately tag 11 people. <--aaack, I don't think I know 11 bloggers who would do this, but I'll tag them anyway.

(I, too, didn't know there was such a thing as legitimate tagging.  Lesson learned.)

11 Things About Me:

1. I don't drink nearly enough water as my body needs. I know this to be true when I get massive headaches, agitated, or restless. I actually mark the number of glasses of water I've had at work on my calendar. I get excited if it is more than 4. absurd.
2. I took one of those political compass quizzes online. I was almost dead center of the graph. I'm still trying to understand what that says about me.
3. I get genuinely frustrated with all of this political talk, simultaneously, I'm happy to know such a diverse group of people.
4. In my youth, I spent a fair amount of time looking in the mirror, practicing facial expressions for the day when I would have friends to use in actual conversation. Now, I don't like to look in the mirror at all.
5. Additionally, I was quite a ham for the camera. I didn't mind being in front of it. Now, I much, MUCH rather be the one taking the photo. I don't know when that changed.
6. I have a genuine desire to learn how to be a decent surfer. I don't live any where near a body of water that allows for constant surfing. I don't know how this is going to become a reality.
7. I have an unusual fear of cockroaches. I also discovered that I'm allergic to them. (weird) If I have to kill one, it involves shrieking, yelling, gagging, profanities, and then, if successful, a different sense of satisfaction, combined with a healthy dose of icked-out-ness.
8. I absolutely and completely do not like green beans in ANY form. I keep trying them and they just dont' appeal to me.
9. Music is as essential as air and water. Can't live without it. (Do you have any recommendations?)
10. A great cup of coffee and an amazing pair of shoes will lift my spirits. Then again, a nice word from a loved one or stranger is great, too!
11. I'm having a love/hate relationship with my hair. I really want to chop it all off, but then I know I will regret it. I've told myself I'm keeping it until my friend's wedding in May. After that, I'm whacking it all off.

11 Questions from E:

1. What is one thing you can't leave the house without? my phone
2. Tell me the best place you've ever visited or vacationed. Rome
3. You have to sing karaoke to save my life. What song do you choose? Moon River or I will Survive
4. If you could change one thing in the past week, what would it be? listening more, talking less
5. What have you been eating a lot of recently? vegetables
6. If you were going to be famous for something, what would you want it to be? writing a great piece of fiction
7. What is your least favorite chore? laundry
8. If you had to live one place the rest of you life, where would it be? on a beach with electricity, wifi, indoor plumbing and central air with my family
9. What shows do you watch regularly? The Big Bang Theory
10. Do you have any big trips coming up? If so, what? Rochester, NY; Mackinac Island, MI; hopefully Costa Rica
11. Who is your hero? I have many, but I would have to say My Father, My Mother, Maya Angelou

My 11 Questions:

1. What is the single best piece of advice you've ever received?
2. What is your favorite cake flavor?
3. What was your most favorite pair of shoes?
4. Where are you happiest?
5. You have $100 to blow, what do you buy?
6. What was your favorite birthday?
7. Where is your next dining out experience?
8. What goal/dream has gone unfinished?
9. Who would you like to kill half a day with?
10. What would you all do during that time?
11. What song makes you dance like a crazy person?

My 11 people 

(let's be realistic, I won't have a full 11. If you can do it, great, if you can't, that's ok, too!)

Jenna, Valerie, Mandi, Megan

Health Check Reminder

I process quite a bit by writing. In the past several months when I have had the time, I’ve been doing less writing in this forum, and more writing in actual journals. I wrote quite a bit about what I’m going to talk to you about now on small notecards. Little words of encouragement to myself, just as a reminder to keep myself focused and positive.

I know I have it within myself to teeter along the edge of depression. Quickly things can spiral out of control in my brain and fear upon fear upon worry upon sadness down that long tunnel into darkness. It’s at that point where I can see the world around me going on about its business and I feel like a mannequin in a poorly lit window, watching it all. It sucks. For that reason, I lean on my coping mechanisms. I run. I workout. I cling tightly to my family. I inhale loads and loads of motivational and inspirational quotes. I also cut out negativity. I have to. I purposefully stop watching the news. All that to say, the past couple of weeks, I was walking an emotional tightrope.

Let’s back up. After everything I witnessed with my mother last year, I decided to make a dramatic change in our lifestyle and cut out animals from my diet at the beginning of the year. (I don’t say vegetarian because well, there are so many definitions to that. My thing was, if it has a face, then I didn’t eat it. This included fish.) It was supposed to be a six week experiment that has evolved into a mostly permanent thing. I allow myself to eat something with a face one or two meals a week. To say it was life changing is an understatement. For me, this is what happened:

• I lost 25 pounds.
• I’ve shaved off nearly two minutes from my mile pace (multiple miles).
• I have a waist. <---That one, well, I’m square shaped, normally. I’ve never, in my life, had the abdomen lines on my belly. Not even in college when I was an athlete and my body fat percentage was really low.
• My allergies mostly disappeared. I’m the sneeziest person I know. And yet, here I can breathe again. I still have off days, but I don’t suffer as much as I used to.
• My face is brighter, well, the complexion. I thought some of that had to do with the Costa Rican and Californian sun, but no, it is the diet.

Great, right? Well, I must also admit, I took on that challenge because I wanted to increase the time I had to share with Don. He’s always active, making great food choices, and pushing me to be better. Sometimes, it’s exhausting. Many times it is exhausting. There are times where I just want to lazy around and watch movie marathons, eating tortilla chips dipped in chocolate frosting (or Velveeta) while drinking a Coke. Who, in their right mind, wants to get up before the sun to log 3-6 miles, eat only plants, and drink heavy amounts of water? <raising hand>  Yeah, that’d be me. I can bend time and do more in the day because of those choices. I get to enjoy more of him and more of my girls. I have “cleaner fuel” which lends itself to more physical activity. I run more. I run with the girls more. I run after the girls more. And the running gives me endorphins, which combats that evil depression and kicks it in the pants! It also tightens and tones my legs and works my heart. During my runs, I meditate and pray. I try to send out love and light to the world. I also breathe slowly. Gain perspective and chew on things that I need to sort out. I find myself laughing and smiling more. I still cry, but 7 times out of 10, they are tears of joy. There is no shame in showing emotion.

For a few years now, my Beloved has been having pain in his abdomen area. In June, Don finally acted on that pain in his abdomen and had his gallbladder removed. In it, they found polyps, which we later discovered to be benign. (whew) We also discovered that his gallbladder had only been operating at less than 10% efficiency. Hooray, right? Well, mostly, until August when the pain in his abdomen persisted. It kept hammering at him and hammering at him. That month, several people around me (around our age) were new diagnosed and battling cancer. You can imagine my fears. They were creeping in, gaining a stronghold. I insisted he go in to get it checked. Before we made that appointment, he decided to give the non-animals diet a whirl. His challenge for himself was for two weeks. He lost 10 pounds in those two weeks. His blood pressure became more normalized. However, the pain, it lingered. In he went to a GI specialist.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been running around with angst, worry, sadness…knocking on that door of depression. My world with him was in jeopardy. Why? Because when we sat down with the doctor, she told us that he would be undergoing a series of tests. Bloodwork, CT scans, ultrasounds, endoscopy, colonoscopy, and even biopsies..they wanted to rule out everything. At the worst, he could have some type of cancer. At the best, he has a food allergy. Talk about a broad spectrum! Shortly after we heard of the news, we had a road trip to Lubbock. We had 12 dedicated hours in the car to discuss, plan, and prepare. I spent three of those hours quietly sobbing to myself as my beloved lay next to me sleeping, our two blessings in the back slumbering. I prayed and prayed, crested over the canyons in the black of night and was greeted by the most amazing lightning storm I’d ever witnessed. For the next two hours, I focused on each bright burst, attempting to gain as much confidence and reassurance as possible for our own personal storm.
We faced each day, holding hands and embracing. His attitude changed from worry to relaxed. He tried to calm my fears by telling me it was ok. When things got to be too much, I ran. (or jumped or danced or cried) My closest loves held me tightly. Their infectious positivity lighting my mood. Their words of inspiration jumping out from the paper, the screen, my phone, all of them lifting me up. Despite all of that, the day before the “big tests” I curled up into the shower and ugly-cried for the better part of an hour. The biggest thing I lamented about that was all of the water that I had wasted. During that time, I considered the people we met along the way during our journey this summer. I reflected back on genuine and loving conversation from a beautiful man who has been victorious against throat cancer (and he has now become a mentor of sorts and a coveted friend). I remembered the sounds of the ocean lapping up the shores of Costa Rica, where the tiny bit of paradise is littered with trash, but in spite of the garbage, it is lush, thriving, and still very beautiful. I thought of my friends who have had other battles and remained steadfast in grace and positivity. I emerged from that shower, braver and ready for what may come. (We won't even discuss the crazy dreams.)

No matter what.

That’s our motto, mine and my beloved’s. I held his hand, he held mine, each of us taking a deep breath. He the calm and steady one with the sexiest antrum I've ever seen. (ok, it is the only one I've ever seen, but still) Me, the nervous wreck, trying to be as cool and cheerful. Why do I do that? Must be my way of coping.

--------------------

Results came back and all is normal! (wiping tears) They had found and removed a polyp, which was non-cancerous. All of the other tissue samples they had taken to perform biopsies came back normal. What they did discover is erosion in his stomach and small intestine. Basically, it’s as if someone took sandpaper to them. The acids in your stomach are so strong that with this weaker lining, you are inviting ulcers, which could eventually lead to worse things like cancer. Because the stomach is near all of the other major organs, this poses an even bigger threat. Now, he has to take a pill to coat his stomach to prevent further erosion and ulcers. Eating better is now essential. Additionally, he will undergo tests for food allergies. To start, they encouraged him to eliminate gluten from his diet.  Changes, indeed, but nothing we’ve not encountered before. 

All that to say, please, please, please go get yourselves checked out if you suspect something. The tiniest bits of changes in your body could be indicators for things far worse. Not knowing is scary, but knowing and having a plan is better, right? That’s where we are. Attempting to live our lives, buying more time, and embracing challenges ahead as happily and as positively as we can…together.