Not Rape: Sexual Assault, Coercion, Statutory Rape, Molest

Now for some unabashed truth. Prepare yourself to be uncomfortable, uneasy, because this post is completely different than most of my light-hearted posts. This is born from the original essay written by Latoya Peterson found here. WARNING: That essay is full of strong words, it is tough, not necessarily safe for work, and it will make you feel unpleasant things. Consider yourself warned.

But it is that unpleasantness I want to concentrate on. I was not equipped with that terminology. Many of my friends shared their not rape stories with me. I listened and held them. I comforted them, never sharing my own experiences. Yes, experienceS. Because I felt shameful, dirty, and powerless. Never once did I not feel comfortable telling my mother, but speaking it aloud made it truth and I just wanted to forget, and forget I did.

But as a mother to a daughter, with another growing in my belly I want to empower them so they won't feel this way, so they will have the words and not feel shameful. To know it is ok to be beautiful and not resentful for their beauty because some perverted old men give them looks that no 10 or 11 year old should ever feel. And you know, it isn't just with girls. Likewise, some of my closest male friends experienced similar nightmares and again, we found comfort in one another. Looking out for each other, having each other's backs, so to speak.

Thank you Latoya Peterson for having the words and courage to write your essay. Reading it, it opened some  wounds I had long since thought healed, but you never really "get over it," but there does come a point where it no longer defines you.