Happy 1st Birthday Tesla Jane

I have struggled with emotional highs and lows for as long as I aware of emotions. For a long while, I thought there was a part of me that was deficient and broken, only to realize that it’s a part of who I was.
When Mari was born, her laughter was wild and contagious. I dare you to be around her when she’s having a giggle fit and not at least crack a smile! With Tesla, she has this smile and calming nature about her. It’s amazing. When she was born, I felt my heart grow and the love for her has become immeasurable.

This past year, my rainbow child has brought about much happiness and sunbeams. I’ve lost a lot of sleep, but more because I find it difficult to stop staring at her. While life with two small children has been difficult at times, I can’t imagine a time in my my life where I have felt more filled and satisfied.

My dearest Tesla Jane,
My heart swells with pride at all that you are. You have 5 tiny teeth, light brown hair with the beginnings of curls, a fair complexion, and hazel/brown eyes. You are a 22 pounds and 29 inches tall. You enjoy eating avocado, eggs, and bread. You love playing with your sister, especially Barbies. You also enjoy stacking your large blocks, destroying block towers, clapping, standing, singing, and dressing up. You are a toddler now. Literally, walking 5 steps, falling, getting back up, and walking again. You are quite verbal, too. You really enjoy it when we read books to you. You want nothing to do with the television, which is a good thing. Happy Feet 2 will capture your attention for about half a song, but that’s it. You love music. All sorts of it, really, but Classical music and acoustic guitar always captivate you. That’s my girl! You are more than happy to hang out in the Beco carrier instead of the stroller.

We still share a bed and when you slumber, your tiny head is covered with sweat. I could watch you sleep forever. I made my goal of maintaining a nursing relationship with you until you were a year old! Weaning will prove difficult, I’m certain! As will transitioning you to your crib. Large in part because I really enjoy sleeping next to you. I especially love it when you awake on your own and you slap my face, saying “mama” with that magnetic smile. You joyfully welcome the day that way! In the mornings and most weekends, I do elimination communication with you, since you absolutely refuse to sign and you have yet to learn the words for pee/poop.

You are an observer, like me. So much of your personality right now is exactly how I was as a child and I think for that reason I can relate to you. You aren’t nearly as opinionated about your clothing choices as I would have expected. You don’t really like wearing your shoes, but you enjoy playing with mine.

Thank you, Sugar Baby for bringing the light to my soul. You are an amazing little person and I’m so very, very, very blessed to be your mommy. Happy first birthday!

Love,
Mommy!

love you always, Sugarbaby <3