I took a bit of a hiatus from writing my thoughts in this medium, popping in and out only in moments (really 47 posts for the ENTIRE year??). I had to take a few months to process some very personal things. Rather than spewing my most personal thoughts on the interwebs (like really, who wants to read all of that? who needs to read all of that? I’m not that important.), I took some time to write them the old fashioned way, pen and paper, and loads of self-conversations while running. I probably could have published some of it on here, but it boiled down to a simple concept. I have been blessed with a gift. Rather than use words as weapons to destroy (no matter how vindicated or justified I’d feel in spewing so much snark), I’d rather use words to motivate or uplift (because who wants to hold onto that negativity? I have certainly felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders when I finally released some of my demons. Too much baggage, gah!). Instead of sharing what I saw as my own truth, I opted to contain it so as to not hurt others and myself. It took a great deal of courage for me to come to that decision, especially when I felt like I was being attacked. Then again, when you are in the thick of things, it is easy to latch onto the smallest of things and run with it until you are positively insane. We’ve all been there, consumed by madness! In any case, I wanted to say thank you to all of my friends and family who lifted me up. Many of you reading this had no idea that the tiniest bits of things you’ve posted online, texted me, emailed, written, tiny gestures…meant so very much to me when I was feeling quite low. If you feel compelled to share exciting news or come across a phrase that motivates/inspires you, then share it. You have no idea the ripples you create in doing just that!
I had the courage to embrace my imperfections. I began to appreciate that I was a broken pot, used to water the plants along the side of the road. I hadn’t really understood my own rippling effect, until I was forced to push pause on my life an reflect. I’m gonna own that as a major win. I’m also going to celebrate that I kept on keeping on.
These were the goals I’d set forth and nearly accomplished them all. (We didn’t go camping and I flew on aerial silks instead of a trapeze):
These are my major accomplishments for the year:
- I jumped out of a plane and lived.
- I ran a half marathon and amazed myself with my finish time. (I even amazed myself with my 5K improvements.)
- I saw my eldest off to her first day of school.
- I also witnessed her happily read her first several books to me.
- I also cried a great many tears of joy after she completed her first 5K with an average pace of 12 minute miles (she’s 5!!!).
- I witnessed our youngest master potty training and running her first mile in a race with a 13 minute mile pace (outstanding! She’s 2!).
- I also saw her vocabulary expand exponentially. She also knows how to flip off of the ottoman, jump on one foot, dance whenever music is playing, and sings along to the radio.
- I went to a great number of concerts, even scoring a media pass to document the experience.
- I had a year’s worth of dates with my Beloved (at least one a month). Several of them were overnight dates, too!
- I visited California 3 times, dug my toes in the sand, climbed a mountain (twice), and sat under the redwoods breathing it all in.
- I got a new car!
- I hosted my very own 5K for my birthday (and will be doing it again in 2014).
- I survived the health scare of my fractured vertebrae and venous cavernous malformation.
- I let go of personal aches, made peace with my past, and found myself better for it.
- I began a type of art therapy for myself by incorporating devotions/scripture in a journal.
- I drank a lot of coffee. ha ha!
- I worked out a lot with my Beloved.
- I started to incorporate skills from my professional life and began a new project that will hopefully launch next year.
- I had SO MUCH TIME with my bests!!! It wasn’t weeks on end, but hours, certainly, and such good quality hours, too!
- I ate a lot of really good food!
- I tried to grow a garden, which basically amounted to basil.
- I held two new babies birthed by my friends (even helping one of them through pre-labor).
- I stood next to my nephew/godson as he was Confirmed this year.
- I had my first ever facial…which is big because I don’t like anyone touching my face.
- Embraced gluten-free cooking/baking and have had much success!
Cheers to 2014! Looking forward to it!